“This above all, to refuse to be a victim.” ~Margaret Atwood (more…)
Did you know breastfeeding isn’t for everyone? Well, believe it or not breastfeeding is not as easy as it looks! And this new mom could really use some help from some of you more experienced ones out there.
My Crazy Breastfeeding Attempts, Tongue Tie and ‘Helpful’ Nurses
While I was pregnant, I was so excited to breastfeed and have that bonding experience with my son.
Well as it turns out, in the hospital my son was having trouble latching on to my breast.
No one even mentioned that there was such a thing as a tongue tie.
And it kind of pisses me off, because if they had, I could have had them clip it in order to have that bonding experience with my son.
Instead the nurses told me to start supplementing, because he was losing to much weight. And being kinda new to this whole mother thing – I did what they said.
Ever since I have been trying to get my supply up. By pumping pumping pumping.
In fact I even purchased three different pumps in order to find the best one for my breast.
I was also eating lactation cookies, staying away from caffeine. The whole nine yards. None of it was working. I was devastated that I was only able to feed my baby formula.
That’s when I decided to…
Stop concerning my self so much about it, and to try to believe that it might just come naturally, And instead of pumping, to actually put him to the breast to feed. And just see where that got me.
So as of now, I’m working hard to get my supply up and still having that skin to skin mouth to breast time, regardless if he is getting any milk or not. So far, so good.
I could really use some advice – can anyone help me out? Have you had to try to re-lactate before? How’d you do it? What tips can you offer? Thanks in advance.
Share your breastfeeding experiences down below!
“Shoot for the moon and if you miss you will still be among the stars.” ~Les Brown
Anyone who knows me probably knows that I do everything within my power to stay positive about every situation. And it serves me quite well.
Still, occasionally something sticks in my head and I just have to talk about it.
Like, for example, the fact that I’ve read three different Facebook posts today about creating New Year’s resolutions–each of which said something to the effect of “be sure to set goals, but don’t shoot too high.”
I’m here to tell you that is complete nonsense.
Stop whatever you’re doing for a minute and read this:
The fact is that you won’t get more than you expect.
Hold on. Read it again. Really GET what I’m saying before you keep going.
You ONLY get what you expect.
So, let’s say you’d really like to open your own business.
Now, you could resolve to do that, and if you believe that it will manifest (and take inspired action as necessary), the world is your oyster.
But, let’s just say you’re one of those Negative Nelly or Ned types and you don’t believe it can happen.
You worry about not having enough money, not having enough support, not being able to get the loan or the employees or WHATEVER it is that you are afraid of – and then, my friend, you might as well just pack up the idea before you even get started.
Why? Because you get what you BELIEVE you will get. If you believe you will have “not enough” then expect it. You’ve got to focus on having “more than you need” or everything you need IN ABUNDANCE if you expect to get anywhere.
Fact: You simply cannot achieve more than you believe you can.
It’s not that complicated, really. Like Mary Kay Ash once said, “If you think you can, you can. And if you think you can’t, you’re right.”
Read carefully my friends: Do Not Put Limits on Your Desires! You can have, do or be whatever you want, if you believe that you can. You don’t have to know exactly how you’re going to get there, either.
That’s one of the cool things about this whole deal–put your desires out to the universe and then believe that you’re manifesting them. Because you are.
You are what you think. Placing limits on your thoughts (or attempting to limit the aspirations of others) will only attract more limits into your life. Instead, open your mind and recognize that the world is abundant. You can achieve whatever you believe you can.
Think I’m full of it?
Think of Andrew Carnegie. The child of poor immigrants, he believed that he could achieve his dreams–and went on to become the second richest man in history.
So how did he do it?
He simply believed that he could–he decided what he wanted, took the necessary inspired action, and his true divine desires manifested exactly as he expected.
“I am no longer cursed by poverty because I took possession of my own mind, and that mind has yielded me every material thing I want, and much more than I need,” Carnegie once said. “But this power of mind is a universal one, available to the humblest person as it is to the greatest.”
In case I haven’t made myself clear, don’t believe anyone who tells you that you need to put limits on your goals and desires. You are the keeper of your own destiny, and YOU decide what you believe you can accomplish. Refuse to accept anything less than your true divine desires.
Still not convinced?
Remember what Buddha said: “All that we are is the result of what we have thought.”
Think big, my friends. Believe that your greatest desires will manifest–because the truth is that we really do get what we expect.
Need a further nudge? Consider what famed American writer and mythologist Joseph Campbell said.
“Follow your bliss, and doors will open for you that you never knew existed. Follow your bliss, and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls.”
What do you think? Will you refuse to accept limits on your potential this year? Tell me in the comments section, below!
Enjoy these free meditations, courtesy of QueenBeeing.com. Want more freebies? Visit our members page.
Where do you go when you don’t feel like you’re going anywhere in your trip to being a healthier, smaller version of yourself? What happens to you at that moment in time where you’ve tried (what seems like) everything and nothing is working? Where does your mind and body take you when you’re stuck?
This is always a risky area for me. I would say for a solid eighty percent of my time I am on autopilot. To quote my pal Carolyn, “It’s just what we do now”, meaning going to the gym, eating properly, not binging, not freaking out about every little inconsistency or speed bump in the path, is our new “norm”. It’s just what we do. Lather, rinse, repeat.
The other twenty percent of my time is split between the extremes.
Fifteen percent of that time is spent ‘dorphined up, feeling like I’m taking on the world and conquering it bit by bit. Nothing bothers me. Nothing could stand in my way. I have a great attitude and hold my head up high.
In steps that pesky last five percent of my time, which is where I’ve been feeling for the past week. That last five percent is the part that says “you cannot win this game no matter what you do”. I’m living on “screw it” street in my little village and it’s such a dodgy area. There’s bums on the corners… big bums who haven’t seen a Stairmaster in years. There are seedy people in the shadows just lurking about waiting for you to trip up so they can dart out and rummage through your bag, stealing your hidden snack. The street pharmacists are on the corners handing out your drug of choice, be it cheesecake, chips or chocolate. Or worse yet, a cocktail of all three.
So where do you go? What do you do? Who do you turn to?
My first line of defense, and I didn’t even realize it until I started writing today, is my husband, Marco. Today, these words actually left my face and entered his ears.
“I’ve been doing horrible with my food. I just feel like saying screw it all”.
Those words were actually audible. To another human besides myself. I really said that to him. That’s when I realized he’s always my first stop on the self-destruction train. I like to run my ideas of giving up past him first.
It’s actually laughable as I write it because of course I’m never going to stop but maybe I just need a break. A break from what?
I’d like to call my second line of defense to the stand – Carolyn. You’ll remember her from this post.
She’s who I turn to next. She’s going to read this, as I run most of my posts past her before publishing and she’ll have some brilliant encouraging words to say. Or a punch in the arm, you know, whatever she feels will work at the time. Never fail though, she’s walking the walk and talking the talk with me.
Keeping in mind that this is still only a mere five percent of my time, sometimes I realize my funk is a bit funkier than I like it to be and I pull out the big guns.
When I left Novarum, the center where I got help for my food issues, they had me write a list of things that just worked for me, mentally and physically. It seemed so silly at the time to write it all down, they were so fresh in my mind, but I did it. I tucked it away in a book and just keep it there.
That’s my “big guns”, a piece of paper with words of wisdom that I wrote myself.
“Following this routine makes me more calm about food choices.”
“I no longer hide my eating or have that shame that was associated with hiding and eating.”
“If one of my goals ends up backfiring, that’s okay. This is all just a huge experiment to find that best fit for my life, which will change and evolve as I do.”
That’s just a few of the items on that yellowing piece of paper that I use, third line of defense, to keep me centered.
It is so much more than words on paper though. It takes me back to the basics. Back to where I started winning this thing. Back to the really simple ideas of changing the way I thought about food, myself, myself with food, food with myself and all things related, which in the end, was everything.
I get back to the beginning of this chapter in my life and re-read it like a favorite book.
Then I keep on keeping on because that five percent, that little flash of time, has had its moment of glory and I know how to move on.
It takes a village to raise a child.
It wasn’t until I became a parent that I fully understood, and came to love that saying. Just knowing “it takes a village” made me feel like there was somebody, and possibly even several somebodies, out there on my side, rooting for me. It made me feel not so alone and not quite so worried that I was screwing up my own little human.
As a parent you need to select your village wisely. Take one wrong piece of advice from the village idiot and you’ll be getting the parental stink-eye from a lot of other folks out there.
I don’t feel “it takes a village” is relative to just parent’s though. It’s important to have a village of support when you’re trying to live a healthier lifestyle and lose weight. I take my tribe selection seriously!
I carefully choose the people that I take advice from and who I let into my weight loss bubble. Funny my saying that since I blog about most of it publically, but that’s not what I really mean. When you talk openly about trying to lose weight or change your habits you get input, asked for or not, valued or not. People like to give advice and help. Mostly it’s with a pure heart and good intentions.
I will listen to a lot, from a variety of people, but I only actually take a few people’s advice to heart, adding them to my village. You know what I mean. We all have well intended friends and family who still think the cabbage soup diet is the way to go. Those people would be on the “smile and nod” list and only shown property on the outskirts of town. Whereas hearing what works from a friend who really understands the craziness that is my head, that advice gets filed in the “good stuff, remember that!” and lives nearby in the village of my mind.
Weeding out the village idiots from the village people () can be a tricky and sometimes uncomfortable job. It’s not like they walk around with “I give bad advice intentionally” on their foreheads and sometimes they’re people who you are close with, be it emotionally or in proximity.
I have had office mates who I’ve had to uncomfortably tell “I really appreciate your trying to help but I have a team of people I am working with and it really overwhelms me to receive so much advice. If you wouldn’t mind I’d like to just follow what I’m doing and not get any further input.”
Man, that conversation is a hard one to have. It’s not nice. It has potential to make them feel bad and then you feel bad and nobody wants to feel bad.
Putting yourself first is hard, but important. You and your village are truly vital to your success.
My mental neighborhood starts with the people at Novarum, a health center in the Netherlands. Although I graduated from their bi-weekly sessions over two years ago, I still consider them an integral part of my success thus far. I also know they are there, just a phone call away, should I feel myself sliding down a slippery slope into old habits.
Down the road from Novarum lives my pal Carolyn. She just simply gets me. I have interaction with her almost daily and she understands my kind of crazy. And believe me, it’s a special kind of crazy. We all need that one friends that just gets it. On top of being my mental collaborator she’s my sparring partner and workout buddy.
My village grocer is Hilary. She’s studied food, is passionate about food and is vocal about food. She’s the delicate balance of information, as I need it and can handle it, and advice. What I love best about her though is that she is always respectful of my boundaries.
Living in their own quiet cul-de-sac are the trainers from my gym. They shout encouragement to me as I tear through my workout. We laugh together when they say “burpees” and I reply with “I hate you”. They intimidated the hell out of me when they first moved into the ‘hood but after giving them a chance I know they want me to succeed just as much as I want to be successful.
And the best part about my village is my own home. I have the biggest cheerleader kissing me hello and goodbye every day. My husband, Marco, is one of the most understanding, supportive people I’ve encountered throughout my life. He’s seen me struggle with every aspect of the health game, so he knows it’s difficult. He encourages me in a non-pushy way, which can be a delicate dance. He eats what I want to eat because he knows I’m trying to be healthier. He’s gotten on the exercise bandwagon with me when I didn’t have anybody to work out with and we enjoyed it together. He believes in me even when I don’t believe in myself. There is no better villager than that. Get one of those in your town as soon as you can.
What kind of neighbors make up your own mental village?