Being trauma bonded to an abuser is being tied to something you know harms you yet still feeling unable to get away. The emotional ties alone are confusing and challenging. Have you experienced this or wonder what a trauma bond is? Here are a few ways to help you break those bonds too . What are your thoughts or experiences?
Lise Colucci is one of the narcissistic abuse recovery life coaches at QueenBeeing.com. For info or to schedule a coaching appointment with Lise go to https://queenbeeing.com/lise-colucci-c…
Join The QueenBeeing SPANily (Support for People Affected by Narcissistic abuse in toxic relationships) – AKA “The SPANily” – at https://queenbeeing.com/span.
10 ways that are within your power to use for keeping yourself safe from toxic people. In this video i talk about many ways which all work together to help create life where you can not only spot a narcissist but steer clear of them in your future. Let me know what you think and if you have any tips to add which might help someone else.
One of the hardest things we go through as survivors of narcissistic abuse is letting go of the negativity when we move forward in our lives. So often, I hear survivors tell me that they can’t seem to let go of the feelings of dread, sadness and confusion after the toxic relationship ends. One easy way we can start to move toward being happier and more positive is to focus on intentional vibration management – as in, speaking, thinking and doing only things that are toward our highest good and toward our true divine desires.
That means we have to let go of the need to complain – or at least to cut down on it. This means rather than focusing on what we DON’T want, we turn away from it and only focus on what we DO want.
So how do you do it?
Cutting down on your complaining is something that will take practice. We’re not all naturally inclined to lean toward the positive. In fact, it’s easier for our brains to fall into patterns of negative thinking than to look on the bright side of things. You may wonder how you can begin to become a more positive person. It takes time and intentional practice. I’d like to give you some ideas on ways to shift your focus toward positivity. Once you begin to do that, you’ll start to find positive thinking comes more naturally and with ease.
Ditch Negative Influences – Let’s start with one of the toughest suggestions I have to offer, and that’s to get rid of negative people in your life. Cutting people off is difficult and painful. It’s hard to sever a connection with someone who may have been important to you, but allowing toxic people to bring you down with their constant negativity is harmful to yourself. Ultimately, it may be better for you to put yourself and your own needs first. If you can’t eliminate a negative person from your life completely, at least make an effort to spend less time around them. Once you do, you’ll probably feel like a weight has lifted from you and being positive will come easier. You can always reevaluate things later.
Smile – Yes, a simple gesture like smiling can turn your whole attitude around. It’s hard to feel cranky when you’re smiling. Give it a shot. Smile at strangers on the street or colleagues in the hallway at work. A good mood tends to follow a genuine smile, both your own and the recipient’s. Smiles really are contagious.
Look Forward – Set some goals for yourself. Being able to look ahead to the future with hope and anticipation will do wonders for your outlook. When we’re feeling stuck in a rut, it’s far easier to let things bring us down. These goals can be personal, professional or something else entirely. Just be sure it’s an objective that excites you in order to keep your motivation and your spirits high.
Brighten Your Surroundings – If you want to lift your mood and perk up your thinking, it could really help to brighten your surroundings a bit. The things you see around you have an impact on how you feel. If you want to feel more positive, add some uplifting elements to your atmosphere. You can do this by making sure your office desk always has fresh flowers on it or by adding some fun dŽcor to your home. This small lift can go far to turning your mood around.
Step Outside Yourself – Finally, sometimes you have to get out of your own way and out of your own head if you want to change your perspective. One awesome way to do that is to help others. It can be in a small, informal way or by throwing yourself into a big project. Whether it’s offering assistance to your overworked colleague or starting a huge philanthropic campaign, helping others can totally change your negative attitude.
Hopefully, these tips will help you to bring some sunshine into your life. Perhaps you can build upon them and find ways that are personal and meaningful to push you along the path to positivity.
Wow! Can you believe how fast these 30 days have flown? We’ve reached the end of the 30 Day Overcoming Anxiety Challenge, and I sincerely hope you’re feeling more in control of your anxious mind and that you’ve gained a toolkit of real strategies you can use to feel better despite occasional bouts of anxiety.
We’ve covered a ton of information in this short 30 days. You may need to go back through it to remember some of the advice and action steps. That’s okay. In fact, it’s really a smart idea to review the information from time to time so that you can keep your favorite strategies at your fingertips for use when you need them most.
No matter how much anxiety you’re facing, there are things you can do all by yourself to lessen it. Seeing a mental health professional is also recommended if you need expert guidance and support to handle your level of discomfort. But knowing that you have the power to lessen your own discomfort related to stress, anxiety or overwhelm is pretty darn empowering.
You’ve learned what anxiety is, the ways it affects your brain and how to recognize it. That’s all a great foundation for understanding this toxic condition that can take hold of our lives. You also now understand the impact anxiousness can have on your job, relationships and overall happiness. It’s serious business.
You don’t have to feel overwhelmed, though, because you now know several coping mechanisms for diminishing those awful feelings that come along with anxiety. You can recognize it creeping up on you and know how to frame it in a realistic way. Strategies like deep breathing, exercising, visualization and eating well are things that can be used to maintain a more positive frame of mind with higher energy levels and to stop anxiety in its tracks when it catches you off guard.
Using calming techniques, taking control of your finances and environment, practicing gratitude and beating procrastination are also active methods to reduce anxiety. Finally, please remember that you don’t have to face anxiety and stress on your own. Rely on your support network to help you through the tough times.
Get out there and be social, even when you feel overwhelmed by the world. As social creatures, we need to be around others. Let them help you, make you smile and heal you. Giving of yourself to others is also a way to lessen your fears and put things into perspective.
Which of these 30 days of exercises has resonated with you the most? Which seem like they will fit into your lifestyle and mesh with your personality?
These are the ones you should add to your anxiety toolkit first. When a strategy makes sense to you, it will be easier to implement. Once you begin to gain confidence and feel that you can impact the way you’re feeling, add some other techniques to the mix. Keep what works. Toss what doesn’t, after giving it a fair shot and practicing the method for a bit. I truly hope you feel more control over your anxiety and are ready to face the world with more confidence, peace and enthusiasm.