Having a harmonious relationship in the workplace is essential to make your company more efficient and productive. However, since there are a lot of people that you’ll be working with, sometimes you’ll encounter an individual that is difficult to handle, especially if your employees are complaining about him. This can have a negative impact on your employees’ performance.
As a manager, you have to address this issue. Here are some tips on how you can empower your employees, especially if they have a colleague that is difficult to handle:
Be open for consultation
If you want to resolve this workplace issue, you have to know first the concerns of your employees with this particular person. This is essential so that you’ll determine the best strategies you can employ to keep your employees performing better and prevent them from being distracted.
Letting your employees know that you are open to listen to their problems, complaints, and concerns will help them become empowered. Moreover, you have to give them comforting words and proper advice so that they can handle the situation properly, especially if they need to work with the problematic person involved closely.
Give your employees recognition
One effective strategy when you want your employees to feel empowered is to recognize their efforts, even the smallest one. Check this blog on top employee recognition ideas which you can apply in your workplace.
Employee recognition should not be limited to brilliant ideas raised in the meeting or a great achievement that helped the company reached its goal. It can also be as simple as a slight improvement in his performance and even making an effort to reach out or resolve an issue involved with the individual he’s having trouble working with.
Giving your employees recognition even in the form of a small gesture will create a significant impact on them. It will keep them motivated, and therefore, they will do better in accomplishing their respective job responsibilities. It will also boost their morale as a valued employee of your company./ This will give a positive effect on their overall well-being.
Give them a little reward from time to time
Reward system is an effective approach to empower your employees. This will make them feel that the management appreciates their continuous efforts for the company. And the best form of reward is food. You can organize a small gathering during lunchtime, or coffee breaks, and treat them with small meals. You can order using HeyYou since it’s hassle-free and the food will be delivered right at your office door.
You can also give them time off as a reward. Employees that are awarded a vacation break or even a day off tend to be more empowered and motivated after they report back to work. Taking a break is vital to every employee, and giving them off from work will also show that you’re concerned as an employer.
Establish camaraderie and team building efforts
The best way to empower your employees, especially if they have to handle a situation that they need to work with their colleagues they like the least, is to improve their professional relationship. It’s not your responsibility to establish friendships among your employees, but your objective is to kill the tension between the problematic person and the one who’s complaining.
You can do this by conducting team activities that will make them involved, and there will be no choice but to interact. A successful team building tasks, even when done in the workplace, can remove the tension between coworkers. Sometimes the problem between employees may stem from a lack of communication or just a slight misunderstanding.
Building camaraderie and engaging your employees to work together will not just empower them as an individual but as a whole team. Also, giving your employees an opportunity to work together and making actual interactions can break negative impressions and tension.
Be a friend and not just an employer
The best strategy to empower your employees is to establish trust and friendship. Sometimes, your employees will tend to build a wall between the two of you because of the work hierarchy. Try eliminating that perception and establish that they can see you as a friend, not just their manager/boss. Sometimes, when two individual is having difficulty working together, all they need is a friend that will bridge their gap to resolve the issue between them.
If you want to empower your employees, an essential factor you have to consider is improving their social relationships with their coworkers.
Having a conflict with their colleagues can hinder their professional growth and productivity.
Follow these tips to resolve this kind of issue in the workplace so that your employees are always motivated and empowered. This will reflect on the company’s productivity.
“People who try to bring you down every day aren’t important in your life, so you better treat their opinions as such.” ~Terry Mark
Whether you can classify them as narcissists or not, negative people seem to be everywhere you turn. This makes it incredibly difficult to keep your energy up – they drain the life out of a positive person.
When you’re struggling with recovery from narcissistic abuse, the effect can be more profound. When you’re living or working with a toxic person of any kind, it’s even more difficult to keep your head in the game. To put it mildly, negative people can have an impact on your attitude and your day – and if you’re an empath, it can feel impossible to escape. But there is hope for us empaths yet – and there are ways to mitigate the effect that negative people have on you.
How Do You Stay Positive When You’re Surrounded by Negative People?
Practice these strategies to avoid allowing negative people to negatively impact your life:
Understand that you can only control yourself, but you can influence others. You can’t snap your fingers and make the people around you take a more positive view of the world. But you can control yourself and how you choose to react to their negativity. (Focus on what you CAN control, not what you can’t!)You might even be able to sway people over to your way of thinking a little bit. Set a good example and be a positive influence on those around you. Accept people for who they are. It’s just easier that way.
Be grateful. One way to maintain a positive attitude is to remind yourself of the positive. When you’re feeling run down by the negativity around you, make a quick mental list of the things in your life that you’re thankful for. It will give your mood a quick boost.
Remember that it’s not about you. Everyone has their challenges and issues. There’s no reason to be upset that someone has a negative attitude. It likely doesn’t have anything to do with you at all. It could be circumstances in their life or their basic nature. Just keep on doing what you’re doing.
You have the choice to be positive or negative. You can choose to be affected or not by the people around you. Focus on yourself and keep your chin up. Take care of your business and let others view the world however they choose.
Speak up. Sometimes it can be helpful to tell people to just cut it out. Many people will push until someone calls them on their behavior. Have a frank talk with someone that’s perpetually negative. Maybe they’re not aware of the impact they’re having on others.
Spend time with positive people. Recharge your batteries with the positive energy of other positive people. Get away from those negative people and spend time with people full of positive attitude. It doesn’t take long to recenter yourself when you surround yourself with the right people.
Make the most of your time alone. Make the most of the time you have to yourself. Do things you really enjoy doing. Read positive affirmations. Watch feel-good movies. Put your attention on positivity. It can be like armor against negative people.
Headphones can help. If the situation permits, put on some headphones or earbuds. What you can’t hear can’t bother you. Consider listening to a positive podcast or music that makes you feel good. If your work situation allows this, it would be silly not to take advantage of it.
Stay away. There are plenty of people in your life who aren’t essential – in fact, many are optional. Stay away from negative people that you don’t have to associate with. You have some control over who is part of your life and who is not.
Things to Remember:
Negative people will drag you down if you let them. Take steps to minimize the impact they have on your life.
Practice gratitude each day, and you can maintain a positive perspective.
Block negative people out with headphones and stay away from as many negative people as possible.
Negative people will always be around, but you can deal with them and still be a positive person.
After a recent poll of my email subscribers, I noticed a few commonly asked questions and thought I’d share the answers with you as well. (Though, if you are one of my email insiders who completed the survey, you may have already seen this. If you aren’t, you can claim your spot on the inside right here). I’ll even give you some helpful free stuff when you do.
If you don’t see the answer to your most pressing questions below, please check out my FAQ pages as well – I’ve got a surprising amount of information covered there, too.
Without further delay, here are the answers to the 9 most recent frequently asked questions about QueenBeeing Narcissistic Abuse Recovery.
Q. Can you start publishing the transcripts with your videos?
A. Yes, I’m working on that. My channel is sponsored by CPTSDFoundation.org for subtitles, and I can pull the transcripts off of that. However, it takes some time to format and edit them into something that is comfortable to read. So I’m going to start doing that as often as I can when I publish the videos over on QueenBeeing.com. This will include going back to already published video posts on the site and updating the copy to include the transcripts. If you happen to know an easier or faster way of doing this that won’t break the bank, please hit reply and let me know your thoughts!
Q. Can I email you my questions and expect to receive an answer?
A. If I’m being honest, I get hundreds of emails every day. There is just no way I can possibly answer all of the questions that come my way, especially when sometimes people send me lengthy stories that I need to read to understand what they are going through. I DO try to answer as many emails and messages as I can, but it’s really hard for me, and I don’t currently have anyone who can help me with certain types of questions. This leads me to three suggestions for you:
First, if you keep your question to one paragraph or less (say, no more than 350 words), I am far more likely to catch and respond to your question.
Second, if your question is about something like an appointment, a group, a class/course or where to find something, you can always email my office manager Melina, at email@example.com. If she doesn’t know the answer, she’ll know where to find it.
One last tip: use your search bar in Google and/or YouTube and type your question along with my name (for example, you might type something like, “angie atkinson what is gaslighting?” to be directed to both my YouTube videos and/or my QueenBeeing blog posts on this topic. I have done a LOT of work in this field and a lot of people are surprised that this simple tip will often get them the answers they have been seeking. (It could save you time, anyway!)
Q. Why did you name your website “QueenBeeing” anyway? Isn’t that kind of narcissistic?
Q. I wish there were other ways to be part of the community. I am not on Facebook or any other social media, but I would like to be part of a group like you have on Facebook. Am I right that I would have to pay to subscribe to be part of a non Facebook group? I am not sure if or what my options are.
A. I totally understand. You’re right that thefree groups are primarily Facebook based and I know that doesn’t work for everyone. However, I do have an off-Facebook option at MySpanily.com that is available. It does cost $3.99 per month as it costs me money to keep it up and running. However, if you are in a position where you cannot afford $3.99 per month and you really need the off-Facebook support, please hit reply and let me know – I’ll gift you a membership. I want to support everyone I can and this is one place I am able to bend a little, and I do when someone needs the help.
Please Note: if you want to help cover the costs of memberships for people who can’t afford them, you can submit donations to my PayPal account under firstname.lastname@example.org. You’ll see my business name, BlissFireMedia, LLC – don’t worry, that’s me.
Q. I miss the coffee videos! It felt like we were just chatting on the front porch. Do you think you’ll do them again?
A. Given the number of people who asked for this, I think I will try to start adding them back in. Did you like the coffee videos? If you did, please hit reply and let me know what you liked about them! (PS Don’t worry, I promise I won’t be holding the phone in my hand anymore, lol!)
Q. I would like to see real survivors giving video testimonials about their abuse and life with their narcissists, how they managed to leave and start over, how things went for them and what steps they had to take to get to where they are now, and what their life has been like, since; ways it’s improved and ways in which it has deteriorated. Maybe a once weekly slot that a survivor volunteers to fill and allows to show on your site.
A. This is an excellent idea! The only issue is that a lot of survivors don’t want to put their faces on camera. However, I would be thrilled to work with anyone who would be willing to share their stories on camera. If you’re one of those people, hit reply and let me know and I’ll send you instructions on what to do. And don’t forget that we do have a whole section of survivor stories on QueenBeeing.com. I would LOVE to help you share your story too! You can learn more and submit your own written story here, if you’re interested. It may take a couple of weeks to get published, but we do our best to say on top of entries.
Q. Perhaps you have it already, but I’m looking a place to reach out for counseling. I am seeking one on one.
One of the biggest struggles for survivors of narcissistic abuse is learning that they need to start putting themselves first – or at least to consider themselves a top priority. This seems easier than it might actually be, especially for those of us who have been through the hell of being connected to a toxic person. In addition to our own perceptions about what we SHOULD be, we have society telling us that we’re supposed to always put other people before ourselves.
Think about it: how many times did your mom tell you not to be selfish? How much social pressure is there for you to be selfless?
Those who haven’t experienced these toxic relationships really don’t understand how difficult it can be to start prioritizing yourself without feeling guilty. If you’re having trouble putting yourself first, maybe it’s time to look at what limiting beliefs might be holding you back. It’s time to start letting go of those beliefs and taking control of our perception (and our own lives).
1. People won’t like me anymore This belief is the bedrock of the “putting yourself first is selfish” credo. If you start to say no or set some boundaries, then maybe people will stop thinking you’re a good person. They might even stop being your friend. It’s a fair bet that if you’ve been a pushover in the past, once you start saying no you’ll get some pushback.
The thing is that the people who might push away from you might also be toxic. But for those who are your real friends and who really care, you’ll find something very different happens. If you’re polite but firm, they’ll accept that you can’t run yourself ragged doing what everyone else wants all the time. They might even respect you more for your honesty!
2. But I’m the one who’s always there! The eternal caregiver is an insidious role to take on, and it’s one that is commonly accepted by survivors of narcissistic abuse. It can even become emotionally manipulative. Look deep into your heart and ask yourself why you feel the need to take care of everyone. What would happen if you didn’t? Who would you be? How would life be different? And if you don’t start taking care of yourself, might you become someone who gets burnt out and resentful?
Cut yourself and everyone else some slack and let other people help too. As a bonus, if you make sure your own needs are satisfied, you’ll be in a much better position to give.
3. I should put others first Elementary schools and Sunday schools teach that you should always put others first. Sure, it’s important for kids to learn to take turns and be polite, but in adulthood, it can become emotionally toxic to always put others’ needs before your own.
When you do this, you’re telling your unconscious mind that your own needs don’t matter, that other people are more important and that you are undeserving. And if you think about it, that is exactly where your narcissist wanted you to be.
Plus, it’s a recipe for thinking small, believing you can’t achieve anything, and you don’t deserve to succeed.
These three core beliefs need to be challenged and overcome if you’re going to develop a healthier attitude to putting yourself first. Like changing any habit, you need to practice and take baby steps first.
Have a look at what your own needs and desires are, and practice saying yes to what your body, mind, and heart need.
“Taking care of myself doesn’t mean ‘me first.’ It means ‘me, too.” ~L.R. Knost
Going through narcissistic abuse will really throw you for a loop when it comes to self-value. After all, when you’re going through a toxic relationship, or you’re raised by a narcissistic mother or father, you are taught that you don’t matter, that you have no value, that you’re not important.
But now, I hope you’re learning that it just isn’t true.
You ARE important. You DO matter. You ARE worthy.
And yes, you might think that putting yourself first is selfish. After all, have been groomed by someone (not to mention society) to think of others first, and yourself last – always, right? But the safety advice they give you in airplanes is also a good mantra for life: you need to look after yourself first before you can help other people. You cannot help anyone else if you aren’t okay first.
Here are the top four reasons why it’s important, even necessary, to put yourself first.
1. You need to fill your own cup
Have you ever felt overwhelmed by the demands and obligations of family, friends, and colleagues? Whether it’s running after kids, getting your presentation done, running an eco-responsible household, making time to connect, or even staying on top of your emails, modern life can suck you dry if you allow it. There is no way you can hope to keep up unless you remember to fill your own cup. Take care of yourself and make sure you get what you need. A walk in the sunshine, an early night, a sofa and Netflix day, regular gym and yoga sessions or your monthly knitting circle. Make sure you schedule in whatever it is that brings you joy and energy. Then you can be your best you for all the other people in your life.
2. You’re in charge of your life There’s no Fairy Godmother to save you or take care of you or give you the life you want. It’s totally up to you to step up and take responsibility for your life and your happiness. If you want to be an airline pilot or run a philanthropic foundation or a certified organic farm, that’s great. But it’s up to you to prioritize what you want in life and go for it. Reaching your dreams means putting yourself first.
3. It’s not Me versus You Putting yourself first doesn’t mean you disregard the needs or desires of others. To live an authentic fulfilled life, you need to learn to compromise, negotiate and balance your needs with the people who depend on you. If one of those things is out of balance, you’ll be depleted and resentful, and no one will get their needs met!
Learn to find joy in receiving as well as giving, and don’t for a minute think that putting yourself first is selfish. Let other people support you, and you’ll be in better shape to support them.