8 Distinctive Tricks to Immediately Change Your Emotional State

8 Distinctive Tricks to Immediately Change Your Emotional State

When you’re a survivor of narcissistic abuse, you may have trouble managing your emotional state, especially if you’re deep in the throes of grief and anxiety as you transition to life without the narcissist. Issues connected to C-PTSD and other after-effects of the trauma you’ve just experienced will run rampant in your mind and body until you find a way to heal. 

In the meantime, there are so many things you can do to help yourself feel better right now. For example, you could use a pattern interrupt to shift from feeling weak and worthless to feeling empowered and worthy. 

What is a pattern interrupt?

A pattern interrupt is a way to stop one of your habitual reactions. This can be helpful because you can stop yourself from reacting in an unhealthy way and choose a better response. It can also be used to help your brain notice small things that you might otherwise overlook.

This concept is commonly used in NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming), as well as other self-help practices, to help people change their habits, thoughts, and emotions. In other words, pattern interrupts are deliberate actions that break undesirable habits.

You can use pattern interrupts to redirect the flow of a conversation when it’s going too far off-track, or when you’re ready to move on to talking about something else. They’re also useful for breaking up long monologues by other people.

Most importantly, pattern interrupts can help you get through the difficult moments in your relationships, including the one you might have or have had with the narcissist. This way, you can truly begin to heal yourself and take back your life – one baby step at a time.

How does a pattern interrupt help? 

Pattern interrupts are highly effective for so many different aspects of narcissistic abuse recovery, and this is one more way they can be used. During and after a toxic relationship, your grief, anxiety, and depression can become automatic behaviors – patterns – that you fall into without thought.

So, when you begin to work on letting go of the narcissist and the toxic relationship, you can use mindfulness to pay attention to your thoughts and ideas, and then you can choose to use a pattern-interrupt to change it. 

Try These Simple Pattern Interrupt Ideas

Pattern interrupts are part of NLP (Neurolinguistic programming). Sounds complicated, right? But it’s so simple. Here are some quick and easy-to-implement pattern interrupt ideas for you.

  • Try a simple affirmation you repeat to yourself in the moment.
  • Try standing up and moving into a different room of the house.
  • Try taking a quick shower.
  • You can brush your teeth or hair or wash your hands.
  • Try to count all of the items in a room that are a certain color.

There are so many other options to interrupt these toxic patterns in your own mind. Here’s a quick video where I explain pattern interrupts in more detail.

Pattern Interrupts to Change Your Emotional State Quickly

If you need to change your mood or emotional state in a hurry, you have options available to you. Your emotional state affects your attitude, focus, decisions, and your ability to act.

The ability to manage your emotional state is a powerful skill that must be mastered if you want to be able to get the most out of each day. If you can control your emotional state, you can be happier and more successful.

Surprisingly Effective Pattern Interrupt Strategies for Emotional Control 

1. Move.

Your emotions are actually body feelings created by your thoughts. If you move your body, the way your body feels will change. Moving is one of the most effective ways to change your emotional state. There are many ways to use your body to alter your emotions. Here are just a few options:

● Stand straighter.
● Do jumping jacks.
● Dance.
● Stand up quickly.
● Spin around.
● Walk like a robot.
● Run.
● Skip.

2. Laugh.

Laughing feels really good! Make yourself laugh and you’ll feel differently, and the change is instantaneous.

● Think about something funny.
● Watch your favorite comedian.
● Talk with your funniest friend.
● Read a joke.

3. Give yourself a change of scenery.

It’s amazing how much difference you can feel if you just move to a new location.

● Spend an hour at the coffee shop.
● Go to the library.
● Walk around the park.
● Sit out on your back patio.

4. Do something that frightens you.

If you want to take your mind off your current thoughts, fear is an effective way to do it. Your emotional state will change, guaranteed.

● Strike up a conversation with an attractive stranger.
● Have that conversation you’ve been avoiding.
● Go to the pet shop and ask to hold that scary-looking snake.

5. Drink a large glass of cold water.

A good drink of water can change how you feel. Making sure that it’s cold makes the experience jolting. Pour yourself a tall, cold glass of water, stand outside, and drink it.

6. Use heat or cold.

Anything that impacts your body significantly can impact your emotional state, too. Heat and cold are all-encompassing experiences for your body. Your attention can’t help but notice them. Your brain and body are also taking notice. Your blood vessels expand or contract. You sweat more or less. There’s a lot going on when you expose yourself to significant temperatures.

● Sit outside on a hot or cold day.
● Take a hot shower or bath. Sit in a hot tub or sauna.
● Try a cold shower or bath (this is known to help tone your vagus nerve – which is shockingly effective in helping to heal your trauma).

7. Sing or hum.

Singing is a novel way to change how you feel. If you’re not used to singing, it can feel awkward. If you sing regularly, you do so because it’s enjoyable. Either way, your emotional state will be impacted. (Also good for the vagus nerve!)

8. Do something new or unexpected.

Shock your system by doing something totally out of character.

● Pull out the bike you haven’t ridden in years and go for a ride.
● Take a walk around the neighborhood if you rarely do so.
● Go out to a new restaurant.
● Call an old friend you haven’t spoken to in ages.
● Eat a tablespoon of hot sauce.
● Shake things up.

You have an emotional state of some sort every waking moment of the day. The real question is whether or not it’s a useful emotional state. Even more importantly, is it the optimal emotional state for the current moment? You can change your emotional state with practice. You can even change it quickly!

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8 Powerful Self-Care Tips for Narcissistic Abuse Survivors

8 Powerful Self-Care Tips for Narcissistic Abuse Survivors

“Loving yourself isn’t vanity. It’s sanity.” ~Katrina Mayer

When you are in the grip of narcissistic abuse, it can be hard to think about your own needs. You may be so preoccupied with what is happening to you that you feel numb, or so angry that you feel like an emotional volcano about to explode. Either way, it can be hard to take care of yourself.

Is Self-Care Selfish?

No matter what the toxic people in your life would have you believe, self-care is not selfish. It is essential in order to maintain your physical and emotional health. And this is even more important for people who have survived narcissistic abuse because, for many of us, our whole lives have been about making other people happy. It’s time to focus on yourself, possibly for the first time in your life.

Have you survived narcissistic abuse?

If you have been in a relationship with a narcissist, you know how frustrating and exhausting it is to repeatedly deal with their crazy-making and mind games. When they aren’t treating you like your feelings don’t matter, they are making you feel crazy for having feelings in the first place! It can be that hard to be in a relationship with someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), but you probably already know that it is possible to leave such relationships when you learn how to recognize the signs of narcissistic abuse and how to set boundaries.

What you might not realize though is that self-care is a vital part of healing from narcissistic abuse in a toxic relationship. If a partner or ex-partner has been abusive toward you, you might have experienced a lot of trauma. It can be hard to get out of bed in the morning, and even to take care of yourself and your needs when you’re in the depths of recovery.

Why is self-care important in narcissistic abuse recovery?

Everyone heals on their own time frame, but by practicing some self-care tips for narcissistic abuse survivors you can improve your quality of life and begin the process of healing from narcissistic abuse. But without proper guidance, healing from narcissistic abuse can be long and arduous.

It’s very common for adult children of narcissistic parents (ACONs) to suffer from Complex PTSD. Worse, many ACONs also end up getting into romantic relationships with narcissists and other toxic people – it feels normal to them. That’s why, without proper support, it is so easy to fall back into old patterns.

Did you lose yourself to narcissistic abuse?

Narcissistic abuse is a particularly vicious form of psychological abuse. It is important to recognize that narcissistic abuse takes a toll on your mind and body.  After experiencing an abusive relationship, it is normal to feel like you have lost yourself. You may also feel like you don’t know how to take care of yourself anymore. These feelings are often due to the way you were treated in your past relationships and can develop into a very unhealthy pattern if not addressed. After abuse, your whole sense of self needs to be rebuilt and nurtured.

Self-Care Tips for Narcissistic Abuse Survivors

Self-care is important for all of us, but especially for those in the healing process following narcissistic abuse. You can use these self-care tips as tools to help you heal and recover from the effects of narcissistic abuse and re-establish a sense of inner peace within yourself. Even if you have not left your abuser yet, self-care can help protect your mental health while you decide to leave or work on other aspects of your life that are related to the abuse.

Here are some self-care tips for narcissistic abuse survivors:

1. Remember You Are a Whole Person.

It may sound silly, but if you are still reeling from the abuse of a narcissist, it can be difficult to remember that you’re still a whole, multifaceted person. Narcissistic abuse survivors often find themselves existing in a fog of confusion and pain, and being told repeatedly that they are “crazy” or “imagining things.” It can be hard to muster the motivation or energy for self-care when you feel so beaten down. If you’ve been abused by a narcissist, it’s important to know that what you’re experiencing isn’t your fault. Narcissists are experts at gaslighting their victims into believing that they have no right to their own feelings or opinions. You have every right to grieve the loss of these relationships and experiences, and to take time to work through your feelings. You also have a right to care for yourself in whatever way is best for you. This video explains exactly what happens to you during narcissistic abuse and why you stop feeling like a whole person – this is exactly why it’s so important to take care of yourself now.

2. Assess Your Needs and Make a Self-Care Plan.

Maybe the most important step in self-care after narcissistic abuse is knowing what you need in order to feel cared for and nurtured. You’ve been through the hell of emotional and psychological abuse at the hands of a narcissist. You might just need to start by taking a bit of time for yourself. You can practice setting boundaries. Take a week or a weekend and just turn off the phones, close the door, and relax. If possible, use this time to disengage from the narcissist.  Breathe deeply. Meditate. Stretch out any kinks or tension in your body. Do something creative or spiritual.  Then sit down and write down your self-care plan. Note: Make sure you pencil in time to get enough sleep and relaxation. You can’t think straight or make good decisions when you’re stressed and exhausted. Watch this if you need to remember how important self-care is for survivors of narcissistic abuse!

3. Don’t Discount the Value of Positive Affirmations.

When it comes to reprogramming your mind after narcissistic abuse, you have to take advantage of the power of affirmations. You may think affirmations are lies you are telling yourself in the beginning. But even if that is the case, keep at it! Eventually, your mind will be reprogrammed and your truth can change to one that’s far more desirable. This video offers one simple way you can get in your affirmations while you sleep! Save it to your bookmarks so you can use it anytime you need.

4. Find A Constructive Physical Outlet To Release Negative Emotions.

You, like many narcissistic abuse survivors, may have found a way to cope with the situation in an unhealthy way. For example, you might have started drinking or eating too much to stuff away the pain, anger, and justified rage that you feel on a daily basis. You know those habits are quite destructive – but it feels better than the alternative, right? If this sounds like you, you might consider looking for healthy physical outlets to release those negative emotions. This is why you will want to take up kickboxing, yoga, or dancing such as Zumba classes. Those are great ways to release the painful emotions that you are feeling. Bonus: It also helps you become more physically fit – revenge body, here you come! After all, when you consider how narcissists exploit you, you have to realize that narcissistic abuse recovery is a whole-self healing journey. Get the details on that in this video.

5. Journal Away the Pain.

You’ve spent way too much time worrying about everyone else in your life – and the narcissist has facilitated this by requiring you to make them the center of your world. This means you’ve got a lot of thoughts, feelings, and unspoken words flying around inside you, likely adding to your pain. My suggestion here is to go out and buy a journal or a diary. Or just use a plain notebook if you prefer. Either way, use this to write in every day about how you are feeling, your thoughts, what you have been doing, and any other information that is important to you. The idea is that whatever you put into this journal is just for you. You can tear pages out if they are painful to read later on, or you can keep the book forever as a reminder of how far you have come. Personally, I prefer bullet journaling these days – here’s how I do it.

6. Pay Attention To Your Breathing.

Did you know that if you breathe through your mouth, you are going to feel more anxious?  It’s true! And that will only cause you to think more about the pain you had endured. The best way to stay relaxed is by breathing through your nostrils. In fact, this is something that patients that suffer from insomnia are told to do before they attempt to fall asleep. Breathing through your nostrils will help lower anxiety levels and the more you do it, the more you will rewire your brain into a calmer state. Try the exercises I share here for help.

7. Tap Into Your Creativity

I always say that narcissistic abuse recovery is a great time to start a new project. Maybe you want to redecorate a room in your home, or learn to paint. Perhaps you’d like to write a book or a story. Maybe you’re a songwriter? When you listen to songs like Stronger Than Ever by Christina Aguilera, you know she was inspired by her own healing from abuse. And this is a positive way to deal with pain and trauma. Channeling your pain into creativity is highly therapeutic. Or, if you’re struggling with finding a project because you’re drowning in your own clutter (a common issue for survivors), you might try a decluttering project, as described here.

8. Ask For Help

Possibly the most important step to practicing healthy self-care tips for narcissistic abuse survivors is surrounding yourself with supportive people who understand what you’re going through. I think it’s important to remember that you are not alone. There are millions of people who have experienced the pain that comes with being in an abusive relationship, so don’t feel like your situation is unique or uncommon. If you are struggling, be sure to look into finding a therapist and/or a narcissistic abuse recovery coach who understands what you’re going through. They can give you some helpful tips and since they may have been there themselves, they can empathize in ways no one else can. There’s also the option to join a small Zoom coaching group. If therapy or coaching aren’t within your budget, you can also join a free support narcissistic abuse recovery support group. The more support you have, the better! It MATTERS.

Get help with narcissistic abuse recovery right now.

Observe, Don’t Absorb, Self Love Deficit, and Gaslighting

Observe, Don’t Absorb, Self Love Deficit, and Gaslighting


I recently interviewed Ross Rosenberg, one of the pioneers in narcissistic personality disorder, narcissistic abuse recovery, and codependency. See part one of the Rosenberg interview on YouTube.

Who is Ross Rosenberg?

Ross Rosenberg is a psychotherapist and author of The Human Magnet Syndrome. He owns the Self-Love Recovery Institute. He is an expert on narcissism, codependency, and the relationships that happen between the two. He developed a treatment program that solves. if not cures, codependency or self-love deficit disorder. He is one of the pioneers in the field of narcissism and narcissistic abuse recovery. He has taught and spoken all over the world. In fact, he has an informative webinar coming up based on his extensive work in this field.

How did Ross Rosenberg create his Observe, Don’t Absorb Technique?

“The Observe Don’t Absorb technique was created without knowing what I was doing,” Rosenberg told me, adding that it was 30 years ago when he’d been in an extremely abusive relationship. His partner at the time had BPD (borderline personality disorder).

“I realized had all the power over me if she could trigger me and get me mad, because she, like any person with BPD, would get angry, hurt me, and then cycle back and become in love with me again,” Rosenberg said. “And so the best way that she could feel better is if she could make me as angry as she was.”

Once he realized what was going on, he knew he needed to do something to protect himself.

“So, I developed this technique to safely and in a healthy manner disassociate from the environment and the person trying to trigger me or activate me,” he said, adding that the lesson comes from a George bernard shaw saying that goes, “I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.”

How does the Observe, Don’t Absorb Technique work?

Rosenberg said that the whole point of the Observe, Don’t Absorb Technique “is the narcissist, when they want power over you, they want to get you into what I call their wrestling ring, and that is where they always are in control, and they have all the power.”

“So once they get a reaction out of you, through many techniques (including induced conversation technique), you lose your power because narcissists know how to fight,” he said. “They know how to manipulate, they know how to guilt and shame; and an SLD or codependent can never stand their own.”

“Essentially, the Observe, Don’t Absorb Technique is a way to safely disassociate from a narcissist who gains power by triggering your emotions and making you fight them in a fight that you can never win,” Rosenberg said.

What is Self-Love Deficicit Disorder?

Rosenberg said he’d never liked the term codependency because “codependency” is antiquated and it doesn’t really mean anything anymore.

“So I decided to come up with a replacement term, and it took me a while to figure out, but ultimately it was Self-Love Deficit Disorder, and that’s the problem,” he said. “And the person (with the problem) is self-love deficient, so SLDD for the problem, SLD for the person.”

He said he came up with these terms to help people understand that “what they’re suffering from not only has a name that fits the problem, but also gives you direction on what to solve in order to not to have that problem anymore.”

Ross Rosenberg’s definition of narcissism

Rosenberg said that as he was writing his book, The Human Magnet Syndrome, it was incredibly important to make specific diagnoses so that people knew what he was talking about.

“There are so many people out there on the internet, Youtube, TikTok, everywhere, that use the term, and they don’t have a mental health background,” he said. “So I don’t use the word narcissism; I use the word pathological narcissism.”

“These individuals have personality disorders as defined in the Diagnostic Statistic Manual used by psychiatrists, psychotherapists, and psychologists,” he said. “So I don’t use the term narcissist to talk about someone because that’s an ex that’s a description of someone is being narcissistic, but when I say pathological narcissist, I am talking about someone with a personality disorder.”

He added that pathological narcissists are harmful to the people around them and unable to understand or know what they’re doing.

“And perhaps they don’t care; they perpetuate harm on others,” he said. “The term pathological narcissist refers to someone with borderline personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, or anti-social personality disorder.”

“So, therefore, when I use the word narcissist, I’m using a term that is a clinical explanation of a mental health disorder.” Rosenberg continued. “So now there’s little dispute on who’s a narcissist or not because therapists, doctors. professionals such as I cannot use a term unless they fit the diagnostic profile.”

Ross Rosenberg on Gaslighting

“Gaslighting is a manipulative ploy used by pathological narcissists who have sociopathic traits,” Rosenberg said. “In other words, they know what they’re doing. They’re not the garden variety narcissist who’s oblivious to their narcissism.”

“Gaslighting is a manipulative, systematically perpetrated strategy that pathological narcissists use to control and often hurt their victims,” he continued, adding that narcissists do this by instilling a narrative about a person that something is wrong with them, when nothing was.

Or, he said, narcissits will manipulate you “with a problem they had that was originally mild, while systematically manipulating the environment to prove their narrative.”

Of course, the victim eventually recognizes this fake narrative and identifies with the problem. And, Rosenberg said, “As the gaslighter manipulates them to identify with the problem,  he then builds a narrative that they are needy, unlikable, and would do better if they isolate.”

The Cherry on Top of the Gaslighting Sundae

“The cherry on top of the gaslighting sundae is then the gaslighter portrays himself as the only one that loves, accepts, and will protect the victim; therefore, the victim has taken on a psychological problem or disorder, feeling broken unlovable, and encouraged to isolate,” he said. “And then picking the person that has designed the whole plan. And then no one in their outside world – friends, family, or loved ones – can get to them to try to bring them back to reality. And therefore, they are trapped – and sometimes forever trapped – by the scheming, sociopathic, gaslighting narcissist.”

Question of the Day

Have you ever heard of the human magnet syndrome before? What about SLDD and SLDs? Have you heard of those, and could you relate to his points about gaslighting? Would you please share your thoughts share your ideas, share your experiences in the comments section below this video and let’s talk about it,

Helpful Links:

How Narcissists Destroy You and How You Can Put Yourself Back Together

How Narcissists Destroy You and How You Can Put Yourself Back Together

If you know what it’s like to experience narcissistic abuse, then you might understand the level of damage that narcissists can do. It is profound and life-altering – and not in a good way. Narcissists destroy you, but if you want to put yourself together again, you can absolutely do it – starting with focusing on understanding what happened to you. Your next (and most important step) is then moving forward into intentionally healing and embracing your true self. Let’s talk about it.

How do narcissists destroy you?

Narcissists are masters of manipulation and control, but the effects of being in a toxic relationship with someone affected by narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) are life-changing. The narcissist’s form of psychological and emotional abuse is so harmful that most survivors find it impossible to go back to the way things used to be after recovering from narcissistic abuse.  Their trademark lack of empathy and compassion spills into every interaction with you.

Here are just a few of the ways they destroy you through narcissistic abuse in toxic relationships.

  • They make you believe you’re unworthy of love or respect.
  • They require and take absolute control over your life.
  • They drain your life of energy, confidence, and happiness
  • They see and treat you less like a person and more like an object.
  • They destroy your self-esteem.
  • They isolate you.
  • They shame you.
  • They use your kindness and devotion against you.
  • They make you dependent on them.
  • They manipulate you into staying with them, first through future faking and later through fear, obligation, and guilt.

How can you rebuild yourself and your life after narcissistic abuse?

There are several steps you can take when you’re ready to rebuild your life after narcissistic abuse. In this video, you can learn about how narcissists destroy you, and the psychology around it, plus (and most importantly) exactly what you need to do to find the strength and self-awareness you need to detach from the narcissist and how you can heal and move forward. You’ll learn about how can narcissists manipulate you into giving up everything you care about for them, and you’ll understand why it feels like you might never be able to recover. Plus, you’ll learn exactly what you need to do to embrace your power and take back your life and your SELF after narcissistic abuse.

Have you been destroyed by a narcissist?

If you feel you need additional help and support in your narcissistic abuse recovery, look for a trauma-informed professional trained in helping people who are dealing with overcoming narcissistic abuse in toxic relationships. Depending on your particular situation, you might benefit from Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coaching, or you might do better with a therapist. But, first, you have to decide what to do from here – if you’re unsure, start with my free Narcissistic Abuse Recovery quiz. With your results will come recommended resources for your situation.

Start Getting Help with Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Today

Online help is readily available for survivors of narcissistic abuse. Here are some options to begin healing from narcissistic abuse right away.

 

Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Guided Meditation for Self-Acceptance and Self-Love

Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Guided Meditation for Self-Acceptance and Self-Love

If you’re like most survivors of narcissistic abuse, you might still be struggling to feel good about yourself. You might also not be very self-accepting, and most of us don’t end up actually feeling like we have any self-love to speak of – not to mention self-confidence. For that reason, I wrote this self-acceptance and self-love inducing guided meditation for you.

I worked with a professional voice artist to create a simple, relaxing, and motivational meditation for self-acceptance that leads to unconditional self-love. You can listen in the morning to get you going or play it while you go to sleep at night. I suggest you use it for at least 30 days for maximum effect.

If you like the idea of healing while you sleep, you might also want to add in my four-hour guided sleep meditation for narcissistic abuse recovery and healing, right here. 

Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Meditation for Self-Acceptance That Leads to Unconditional Self-Love

See guided meditation on YouTube

Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Affirmations for Self-Acceptance that Leads to Self-Love

I accept myself as I am.

I deserve to be loved and I am worth loving.

I have many positive qualities and traits.

I am not perfect, but I accept myself as I am.

Everyone has positive and negative characteristics.

I am comfortable with who I am.

I am becoming more accepting of myself as I age and mature.

I have learned a lot about myself over the years.

I accept the good and the not-so-good easily and comfortably.

I know that perfection is unattainable, and I am okay with being imperfect.

Life can be challenging and dynamic.

As I strive to strengthen my skills and abilities, I do the best I can with what I have.

My imperfections make me unique and interesting.

I embrace my imperfections and invite the world to experience them.

I accept myself without condition.

I avoid trying to live up to the narcissist’s image of the ideal person.

I can be a perfect me, as myself in any given moment, and that is enough. To try to do anything else is an exercise in futility.

I am honest with myself regarding my personality, physical characteristics, and view of the world.

A high level of self-acceptance allows me to experience the joy of life.

Life can only be fully experienced from a perspective of self-acceptance.

Today, I accept myself, just as I am.

I am also willing to accept others as they are.

I am practicing acceptance on every level.

Self-acceptance is a key part of enjoying life.

I love and respect myself without condition.

Despite what I may have believed before, I now know that the love I have for myself is the most important love of all.

When I love myself, I am better able to love and care for others.

I am better to myself and the world when I am able to love myself.

I have great respect for myself and my many accomplishments, even the small ones.

Self-respect is a big part of finding my own happiness and fulfillment on my own.

I don’t need anyone else to be happy.

I treat myself with the respect I deserve.

I am worthy of self-respect and enjoy feeling good about myself.

I am learning to maintain high standards for my behavior and face the world in a way that allows me to sleep peacefully at night.

My good friends and those I consider my family are proud to be part of my life.

It is easy for me to show them love and respect because I maintain these qualities for myself as well.

I attract more healthy, like-minded people into my life.

Self-love and self-respect make it possible to have authentic relationships with others.

By accepting and loving myself, I am able to give the same gift to others.

Much of my self-respect comes from the willingness to accept responsibility for my own life.

The respect I feel for myself springs from this place.

I am able to avoid worrying about the negative opinions of others because I am in control of my life and emotions.

Today, I appreciate my unique qualities. I remind myself how wonderful I am and that I deserve love and respect from the world, but most of all from myself.

Every day, my self-esteem is growing by leaps and bounds.

I am learning to be independent and I know that I am enough, just as I am, in any given moment.

I am fortunate to be overflowing with self-esteem.

My self-esteem is limitless. It continues to grow and blossom.

As my self-esteem increases, I feel more powerful and peaceful.

As I grow in my healing, I realize that having a high level of self-esteem makes my life simple and light.

Knowing that I can handle any challenge that comes my way frees me from worry and concern.

I avoid making mountains out of molehills.

Temporary setbacks are barely noticeable.

I focus on what I can control, what I can affect, and I don’t worry about things that are beyond my control.

My capabilities are tremendous.

I can feel myself growing stronger each day in my mind, body, soul, and abilities.

As I heal, I feel myself growing on a spiritual level. I am getting closer and closer to being my true self.

I love myself just as I am.

I know with certainty that I am lovable and capable.

I know without a doubt that I deserve good things, and I take inspired action as needed to manifest my best and highest self.

I am comfortable revealing myself to the world.

I am free from worrying about the approval or rejection of others.

I am totally at peace with who I am, and I do not make apologies for it.

My certainty in my abilities is rock-solid.

Even in the face of adversity, I am confident in my ability to be successful.

I know that I will make it.

I know I can do what I want as long as I am willing to put in the effort.

My happiness and success are certain as long as I persist in moving toward my goal.

I already have everything I need to win.

My self-esteem serves me well.

My professional and personal life are positively influenced by my self-esteem.

I am strong, confident and full of love and light.

Today, I enjoy many benefits of strong self-esteem as my self-esteem increases.

Each day I grow more capable and confident. Life becomes easier. The world is my oyster.

Next: Try this guided, four-hour sleep healing meditation.

5 Simple Self-Care Tips That Survivors of Narcissistic Abuse Forget

5 Simple Self-Care Tips That Survivors of Narcissistic Abuse Forget

“I have come to believe that caring for myself is not self-indulgent. Caring for myself is an act of survival.”  ~Audre Lorde

After breaking away from a toxic relationship with an abusive narcissist, you may find that you have forgotten how to treat yourself the way you deserve to be treated. You may not know how to nurture yourself properly, because you have not been nurtured. And because you’ve spent so much time focused on someone else’s needs while ignoring your own. Fortunately, there are simple ways to take care of yourself that can have some excellent healing effects on you.

5 Self-Care Tips for Narcissistic Abuse Survivors

Let’s look at 5 easy self-care tips that many survivors of narcissistic abuse tend to overlook or forget completely.

1. Journaling Is Helpful

After dealing with the extreme amount of stress and hardship in a toxic relationship, a lot of damage has been done. You’ve been traumatized and you need to heal. Journaling can be exactly what you need.  In your journal, you can literally express any emotion and thought you have. You don’t have to censor anything because it is private, it is yours. And it will help you release the tension inside. Doing this daily will be very helpful. In this video, narcissistic abuse recovery experts Angie Atkinson and Kim Saeed discuss how journaling helped them in their own recoveries from narcissistic abuse.

Angie Atkinson also finds that using a Bullet Journal is especially helpful for survivors of narcissistic abuse who deal with C-PTSD and/or adult ADHD. It can serve as both a traditional journal and a planner/life organizer at the same time. Angie finds that it works well for creative minds that have a tendency to be unconventional in their organizational styles. Here is a video where she discusses why she loves bullet journaling.

2. Saying ‘No’

You may have been conditioned to do things for others at your own inconvenience while being in a non-nurturing relationship. However, when you reclaim your power by saying ‘no’ and sticking to it, you will feel much better. Only do favors for others if you feel you will get something out of it and if you are not inconvenienced in any way. You don’t need to be a people-pleaser anymore, as you’ll learn in this video.

3. Prioritize Tasks

If you feel like you have too much to do, then the best thing to do is to prioritize tasks. What do you need to do? And don’t do too much at once either. In fact, if there are things you can delegate to others, then you will want to be sure to do that. This means if you are not going to be able to do something such as grocery shopping, then you can always order groceries online. It also means putting yourself on your own priority list! Yes, self-care is incredibly important during narcissistic abuse recovery – and so often overlooked. In this video, find out why self-care is such a big deal for survivors of narcissistic abuse.

4. Read Something Relaxing Or Intriguing

Reading is really good for your mind, as it is stimulating and relaxing at the same time. You will want to read books that are in the genre you are interested in. And you may want to read about something that you know very little about so you have the opportunity to learn something new. But the best thing to do is to take a nice bubble bath and to take your favorite book, and enjoy some self-pampering. Nighttime reading is great, as long as you are not reading something that is too stimulating before bed. There are also tons of amazing books for survivors of narcissistic abuse Not a reader? That’s okay. Figure out what your passion is and take it to the next level! This video teaches you how to find passion and purpose in your own life.

5. Do Nothing

If you don’t feel like doing anything at a particular time, there is nothing wrong with just sitting there and doing nothing. Don’t berate yourself for not being productive at that given moment. Perhaps you need to just sit there and literally do nothing. This could be a reset for you so you have the energy to be productive. Sit there, listen to music, and just allow your body to reset itself. Here is a video that will teach you how to calm down quickly.

These overlooked self-care tips are a lot more helpful than you would think but why not utilize them and heal at the same time! Stay healthy.

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