5 Shockingly Empowering Sexy Secrets We Can Learn From Southern Belles

5 Shockingly Empowering Sexy Secrets We Can Learn From Southern Belles

 “Southern Belles never take pride in being ‘awkward’ or ‘adorkable.’ They are ladies who are proud of their social skills, and know how to put people at ease.” ~Candace Thompson

My family and I snuck away for a week during the kids’ spring break from school last year, and boy did I learn something cool. As you might expect, I came across plenty of hot women on my journey, but one in particular sticks out in my mind as a hottie–and probably not one you’d expect.

We left on a Monday night after my husband got off work and we planned to stay in a hotel once we got to Birmingham (just past the halfway point from our home in St. Louis to our rented condo in Panama City Beach, Florida).  So we stopped at a (ridiculously overpriced but very nice) Hampton Inn.

Now, while I am still kind of pissed that it cost us nearly $200 to sleep for exactly 6 unsettling hours, this woman who checked us out was something else.

As we enjoyed our slightly-stale tasting (but “free”) continential breakfast, I saw her, behind the counter. She was probably around 60 years old, and she didn’t seem like much to look at–her skin wasn’t in the best shape and her nose had this odd cut-out looking spot on it. Still, she had a friendly face, I thought, so I went over to check out.

But the moment the woman opened her mouth, she suddenly became incredibly beautiful–and let’s be honest, super hot. And within the three-minute time period I dealt with her, she had a significant impact on me. So what did this southern belle to do win me over within the first two seconds she opened her mouth, aside from belting out that molasses-sweet accent?

5 Sexy Secrets We Can Learn From Southern Belles

southernbelle1. It Ain’t a (Just) Man’s World, So Don’t Be Afraid of Your Femininity–In our society today, women are expected to be sexy, strong and capable, but only insomuch as it does not, in any way, threaten their men. And if she does take on a “traditionally male role,” such as a leadership position at work or a professor at a university, she may feel pressured to subdue her femininity in order to be taken seriously. Southern women are not afraid to be as girly as they wanna be, and they’ll do it all while running a company or heading up a presidential campaign. Bless their hearts!

2. The Art of Being a Lady Isn’t Lost, After All--My hotel clerk and many southern belles like her have this amazing ability to make people around them feel especially comfortable. It’s something about the way they talk, the softness in their voice and maybe even some kind of old-fashioned quality called class. Within the first moment I was talking to this lady, I felt completely at ease and like she was enjoying my conversation. Talk about HOT!

3. Standing By Your Family and Friends is Super Hot–Southern women are known for their ability to take care of and to stand by the people they love – it’s called “Southern Hospitality” for a reason, y’all. There is nothing in the world that says you HAVE to take care of folks (although, if you do, the healthy people in your life usually return the favor!), but I’m here to tell you that, when it comes to men, there are few in this world who don’t (secretly or otherwise) wish their woman would take care of them. Whether they admit it or not, they love it when you get all mommy on their asses–especially when they’re sick. Being a caring wife to a healthy, loving guy? Super hot.

4. southern belleKnowing that Looks DO Matter–Many Southern belles are known for their girly-girl style, but there are just as many gorgeous tomboys, fashionistas  bohemians and other generally hot women in the south. The thing that Southern girls know that the rest of us forget sometimes is that taking care of your appearance DOES change the way the world perceives you (and how you perceive yourself). Not only will you be taken more seriously when you bother to care how you look, but you’ll just FEEL hotter–and that always adds up to BEING hotter.

5. Being Authentically, Really Yourself–I have said it before and I’ll say it again–being YOU is HOT! But in the case of the Southern Belle, I think that Candace Thompson said it best when she said, “Southern Belles don’t care if not every woman wants to be like them, or if they’re considered too “traditional” or “old-fashioned.” They are happy to live the life they have, and be who they are, without pleasing some feminist or businesswoman who wants them to be more “modern.” They know how much better life is when you live it in style.”

What can you learn from a Southern Belle about being a HOTTER version of yourself? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments section, below!

Subscribe to my YouTube channel for more “bringing sexy back after a toxic relationship” videos!

The Kate Moss Theory: Stop Dressing Like a Wife and Improve Your Marriage

The Kate Moss Theory: Stop Dressing Like a Wife and Improve Your Marriage

“[My husband] would go mental if I started dressing like a wife! He likes me when I’m a rock n roll kind of a girl.” ~Kate Moss

kate mossLook, I’m well aware of the controversy that was stirred up in the blogosphere when supermodel Kate Moss made the statement quoted above. But the woman had a point–and I don’t mean that all wives dress like crap.

I mean that many wives become a bit…complacent…after awhile. (I know because I’ve been there, too!)

Some women even justify walking around in sweats and tshirts day and night, week after week, and get offended when you suggest that they do otherwise.

Those women might as well just either stop reading now, or change their minds and prepare for a dose of tough love–because I’m about to drop some truth bombs.

So, I’ve been married a hundred years or so (ok, really, it’s closer to 15, but still). And I know that a lot of women in my position (and in fact, a lot of women in long-term relationships, in general) are likely to eventually slow down on the getting all dolled up.

“Kate Moss and I don’t have much in common, but I think she is quite right to avoid dressing ‘like a wife’,” writes Helen Kirwin Taylor. “By this, she means she’s refusing to adopt the slovenly uniform of tracksuit bottoms and shapeless tops so many women embrace when they no longer have to worry about snaring a man. I would never think about sitting down for dinner with my husband without slipping into something stylish and alluring, brushing my hair and applying lipstick.”

Helen, I am totally with you, girl.

Wives: Why You Should Still Care About Your Appearance

angie3Obviously, if you want to be considered a hot wife, you need to consider how your appearance is perceived.

Sure, you might think it’s shallow–but my guess is that since you’re here reading this post, you know that this stuff goes a little deeper than one might realize at first glance.

I still get all dolled up on a pretty regular basis–in fact, I literally will not leave the house unless I look reasonably cute.

While my husband sometimes pretends this annoys him (because sometimes it takes me a minute to get ready), the truth is that he appreciates the fact that I care about how I look–because it makes me more attractive to him. I know this because he says so.

I also make an effort to look cute even when I’m working at home or just lounging around the house.

Why do I do it? Well, let me spell it out for you.

Because he works with tons of hot women (hello ladies!)

My husband works in a corporate office full of beautiful, stylish and intelligent women. While he would never say so, I know that if he came home to a frumped up mommy-stereotype each day, he might start noticing the ladies he works with for more than their fun personalities and ability to work well with him.

I don’t need to compete–I know he loves me and would never do anything to hurt me, regardless of what I look like–but still, I prefer to keep his attention on me, so I make sure to pay attention to my appearance.

Because it makes me feel better about myself

The truth is that the primary reason I care about how I look so much is that I simply FEEL better when I look better. And I’m not alone–just think about it. When was the last time you felt particularly beautiful? Let me guess–it probably involved a really good hair day, or one of those perfect outfit days. Yep.

So, take care of your appearance and you feel better–then you become more self-confident, friendlier, more fun and generally HOTTER. It’s true.

Because it makes my relationship stronger

I know, appearance SHOULDN’T matter, but the fact is that it does. You see, it’s really easy to get so comfortable with each other that you forget to care what your spouse thinks about how you look. And maybe he forgets too–but most likely, he’s well aware of it.

Even if he’s one of those awesome guys who totally loves you and would never even consider straying, he still notices–and he will appreciate it if you make an effort to be attractive for him.

So, in addition to your self-confidence and your actual more attractive appearance, your better attitude will shine through, and that, my friends? That makes you super hot–and I promise you, he WILL notice.

While there is no one look that can be called hot, making an effort with your appearance on a daily basis can literally improve the quality of your life–and of your marriage.

What do you think? Do you make an effort to look HOT for your husband? Why or why not? What tips would you offer other wives? Share your thoughts, experiences and ideas in the comments section, below.

Success is Sexy: 7 Ways to Stop Limiting Yourself (Plus Free Wallpaper)

Success is Sexy: 7 Ways to Stop Limiting Yourself (Plus Free Wallpaper)

“Don’t limit yourself. Many people limit themselves to what they think they can do. You can go as far as your mind lets you. What you believe, remember, you can achieve.” ~Mary Kay Ash, founder Mary Kay Cosmetics

Click to download this free wallpaper! Or "right click, save link as."

Click to download this free wallpaper! Or “right click, save link as.”

A great life doesn’t happen by chance. It’s the result of having goals and skillfully allocating your resources in order to reach them. These resources include your thoughts, time, and energy.

Ultimately, a great life comes from taking the 24 hours you’re given each day and using them in a wise manner. This is more effective than just dealing with the next item on your endless lis of chores or reacting to what’s happening around you.

The key is in being proactive to create the life you desire.

Consider making these action tips a part of your daily routine:

  1. Get started. Avoid waiting for the perfect time or you’ll be waiting forever. It may be tempting to keep putting things off until you reach some milestone. But instead, take the first step to realizing your success and start now.
  2. Create an excess of everything valuable. A great life is largely the result of having more than you absolutely need. You can apply this concept to time, money, fun, space, energy, love, friends, and anything else that matters to you.
  • What if you saved 5 years of living expenses and had 3 days a week to do what you want?
  • Wouldn’t it be nice to have so many friends that you could easily find someone available for a night on the town?
  • Can you imagine making 5 times the amount of money you need to pay your bills and getting to enjoy your life?
  1. Simplify your life. Eliminate the things from your life that aren’t bringing you enjoyment or contributing to your success. Everything else is a distraction. By doing this, you free up the time and energy to focus on the important stuff.
  2. Prioritize. Give the most important items in your life the highest priority. Consider the people you know that seem to constantly struggle. You’ll likely see that their priorities aren’t leading them to success. If you focus on irrelevant things, your life doesn’t move in a positive direction.
  • If you accurately prioritize and allocate your resources accordingly, success will be just around the corner.
  • Choose the life you want. The only alternative is to rely on random luck.
  1. Remove the superfluous from your life. How many things in your life are physically and emotionally draining? Do everything you can to eliminate the distractions in your life and your energy level and productivity will soar
  2. Strive for excellence. Great lives come from great effort. Are you spending your time and money in the best way possible? Your best effort isn’t simply “trying really hard.” It’s also doing your best to figure out where to focus your energy. Be effective and efficient.
  3. Control your thinking. Taking charge of your thoughts is a huge priority. If you look at most of the previous tips, they’re about making it easier to control your thoughts.
  • Simplifying, having priorities, and removing distractions will all help you to control your thoughts. The more time you can spend focusing on your goals, finding solutions, and believing, the more successful you’ll become.

Success is the result of simplifying, focusing your resources, and controlling your thoughts. You already have everything you need to get started. The other things you require will be found along the way.

Start implementing these ideas today. They’re the backbone for creating a life you’ll love.

A Hot Wife Lives the Good Life: All the World’s a Stage

A Hot Wife Lives the Good Life: All the World’s a Stage

Sir John Gilbert's 1849 painting: The Plays of...“All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players: they have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages.” ~William Shakespeare

17 Secrets for Living Well That You Can Learn From World Class Actors

According to Shakespeare, all the world’s a stage. Acting is one profession we all get to experience regardless of what we do for a living. How’s your show coming along?

It makes sense that we can learn a lot from great actors. Like hot wives, they’re much more than pretty faces.

Consider the personal qualities and techniques they use to connect with their audience and create a lifetime of memorable performances.

Simple Secrets of World Class Actors:

  1. Show up on time. Get to the theatre on schedule. Delays cause tension with the rest of the cast and lead to additional expenses.
  2. Learn your lines. There is a place in life for rote learning when it comes to mastering basic information. You need a solid foundation before you can add your own embellishments.
  3. Hire an agent. Partners with the right expertise help you get ahead. Link up with people who can help you find more opportunities and give you objective advice about your career.
  4. Invite your friends. A packed house looks more impressive. Until you get paying clients, find some way to fill those empty seats. Be willing to do the same favor for them.

More Advanced Secrets of World Class Actors:

  1. Engage in relaxation. The best actors make their work look easy. Manage stress by meditating daily or booking a weekly massage. Exercise on a regular basis and get plenty of good quality sleep.
  2. Stretch your imagination. Visualize all your possibilities. Look at ordinary things from an unusual angle. The woman next to you on the bus may be a substitute teacher or a space alien.
  3. Make a commitment. Invest for the long term. Once you get started, see a venture through until its completion.
  4. Think like a psychologist. Study human behavior. Think about how a person is likely to react in different situations and the motivation behind their choices.
  5. Explore yourself. Get to know your strengths and weaknesses. Examine the root causes for why you suddenly feel a change in mood or do something unexpected.
  6. Practice lifelong learning. Be open and eager to embrace new ideas. Take classes, read and talk with people from all walks of life.
  7. Persevere against all odds. Anticipate the obstacles that may lie ahead. Make plans for how you’re going to face them. Build up a financial nest egg. Develop contingency plans for what to do if your initial approach gets stalled..
  8. Remain versatile. Be flexible about taking on different roles. Give equal time to all sides of your personality. You may need to make some commercials for laundry detergent before you get the lead part in a Broadway show.
  9. Believe in yourself. Have faith in your own talents and abilities. Encourage yourself with positive self talk.
  10. Take risks. Dare to go beyond your comfort zone. Accept roles that will challenge you to confront difficult truths. Personal development requires hard work.
  11. Share your feelings. Express your emotions. Put your heart into your voice and actions. Allow yourself to care for others and deepen your relationships.
  12. Rely on a support system. It takes an entire cast to put on a show. Develop a circle of people you can count on for assistance and support. Give generously of your time and resources as well.
  13. Demonstrate passion. Get fired up about your life. You can express your intense dedication without chewing up the scenery. Be clear about what you want to accomplish and diligent about pursuing your goals.

Acting is a skill we all need to succeed in life. Learn your part and put all your effort into each performance.

Pin It on Pinterest