If you’re in a relationship with someone who is abusing you, whether this is physically, psychologically, emotionally, or otherwise, and you’re ready to consider leaving them, you may not know where to begin.
If your partner is a narcissist and has been subjecting you to narcissistic abuse, gaslighting, and other forms of manipulation, you might have spent a lot of time doubting yourself, not sure whether you’re right and they’re toxic, or whether they are right and you’re crazy. If you do still happen to be doubting yourself, you might be interested in taking one of my free narcissistic abuse recovery self-assessments, right here.
Tips to Prepare to Leave a Toxic Relationship with a Narcissist Safely
What can you do to prepare yourself to leave a toxic and abusive relationship? It is not as easy as picking up and going. Here are some of the most important things to consider before you leave a narcissist and an abusive relationship.
Know Where You Stand Financially
Financial abuse is real when it comes to narcissists, and the last thing you want to do is leave the abusive relationship and find out the hard way you are not financially fit to leave. That is a critical step to take when you are married to an abusive person – and there are some really specific things of which to be aware. Once you know the financial facts, you can present them to the court, and you will get your fair share of the money. That means you must know what you have in the bank and all of the debt that you carry. A bonus tip is to take screenshots of the accounts, so you know what you have available before you go. This video offers additional tips on dealing with financial abuse in toxic relationships.
Grab Essential Documents
The last thing you want to do is leave essential documents behind so you will want to collect them. Make sure you have access to your personal IDs such as your driver’s license and passport, your birth certificate, as well as the ones of your children, passports, marriage license, investment numbers, car documents, and social security number. Make sure you have your bank and mortgage/lease information as well. Take pictures of them if you are afraid that the abuser will destroy them. The PLAN covers a full list of documents you’ll want to gather before you go.
Begin Saving Money And Get A Job If You Must
As much as you want to make sure that you get your fair share of the money you’re due from the marriage, you will want to make sure that you begin saving your own. If you need to get a job, even a side hustle, you should do it That will only help you feel more secure about leaving your abuser. Many abused spouses stay in toxic marriages because of finances. If you can support yourself and your kids if you have any, even if you are just getting by, that is better than staying in a toxic relationship. These days, there are plenty of work-from-home jobs you could do, even without telling the narcissist, if you play it right. Just be careful with your earnings and keep them in a separate account from the narcissist’s money. You can look into services like PayPal or online banks like Chime to create a private account without the narcissist’s knowledge, for example. Bonus tip: you might also want to consider checking your credit through a free service like Credit Sesame, which also offers you tips on how to improve your credit score. This video offers additional tips on how to leave a narcissist with no money.
Make Changes To Passwords
If you are afraid that the abuser is monitoring your social media activity and emails, then you want to change your passwords, so your abuser does not have access to any of it. Change all of your passwords, whether for social media, online banking, or any other platform. Keep the passwords in a safe list that the abuser cannot access.
Tell Your Friends And Trusted Family Members The Truth
When you are about to leave your abuser, you must tell those you trust to support you through it and even offer you a place to stay temporarily until you can get on your feet. You will also feel more secure and safe while leaving, and you will also need them to encourage you to go on with your plan for leaving as it is a daunting thing to do, but a courageous thing you can do for yourself.
Reach Out To Experts And Shelters
If you don’t know where to begin when it comes to preparing yourself to leave the abusive relationship, contact a family lawyer, a therapist, a narcissistic abuse recovery coach, or another expert who can safely advise you. Many lawyers offer initial free consultations and advise you on collecting financial data and everything you need. Also, contact shelters or a therapist can give you some leads to shelters if you are unsure where to look. Be sure to check out our domestic violence resources page as well.
Leaving an abuser is a scary thing to do, but if you utilize these tips and get the support you need, you can do it. You deserve to be safe and healthy.
QueenBeeing Resources for Narcissistic Abuse & Narcissistic Abuse Recovery
If you’re anything like me, you like to do things at the last minute – and if you’re buying a gift for your mom this year, this may be one of those things you sorta…waited to do. That’s why I figured I’d throw together this quick list of last-minute gift ideas for Mother’s day – these are gifts you can order from home and receive in time for Sunday’s Mother’s day celebrations! Or, have them shipped if you can’t or won’t see your mother.
In no particular order, here are some of my favorites!
For the Mom Who Has Everything: Help Around the House–You’ve been hearing about how “Alexa” can help around the house – and maybe you’ve already been using an Amazon Echo. Mom could use one too – even if she’s not tech savvy, a few minutes of instruction will give her a whole new world she can tap into with just her voice! Give her the Amazon Echo – Black (or Amazon Echo – White )! For a less expensive option, try Amazon Echo – White.
Stress Relief! FabQuality Cube 12 Sides Anxiety Attention Toy With Minion Key Chain Gift + eBook Included – Relieves Stress And Anxiety And Relax for Children and Adults BONUS EBOOK is sent by email
If she isn’t sure what to get with her gift card, maybe she wants to try some of these before she buys. So remind her she can also:
Try Amazon Music Unlimited 30-Day Free Trial – Music is excellent for changing your vibes when you’re feeling down and need a quick pick-me-up – or when you’re dealing with social anxiety that makes you feel crippled. Music has also been proven to be effective in assisting us with depression and anxiety.
If we feel cheated/less than or otherwise unsatisfactorily when we see, hear or think about people who have more money than we do, all we’re doing is bringing ourselves more money problems.
That’s why I’m sharing this link with you today – it contains 8 secrets shared with the author by wealthy families on how to handle money.
I think we could all use these tips.
Take a look at the full article in the link below, and be sure to come back and tell me what you think about all of this.
We all love living vicariously through the lives of the rich and famous, don’t we? The huge houses, the bling, the far-flung vacations, the champagne flowing from pure gold kitchen faucets.
But that’s not the reality for most wealthy families. For every loaded celebrity who spends money extravagantly until it’s all gone, there are dozens of rich people quietly building their personal fortunes.
You’d never know how much money they have because they live so simply.
True, most wealthy people are born into affluence and are taught how to keep their assets growing. But what about the ordinary folks who build their prosperity themselves? What are their secrets? Lucky for you, we got to the bottom of it and boiled it down to 8 money secrets of wealthy families we should all steal — starting now!
“Money won’t create success, the freedom to make it will.” ~Nelson Mandela
Money, according to a classical definition, is what money does. And truth, as they say, is like a rubber band. Stretch it and it can do wonders. So if we can really make money in order to do whatever we want, there is nothing like that.
Using our blissfully easy ways to save money tips is almost like a first-aid approach to a very intricate problem perhaps faced by almost each of us. It is important to know how to manage money efficiently to ensure bulky savings. Whether to save some part of what we have to spend or whether to spend at all on a service or commodity should be the first question to be answered.
In the case of large investments, the first step for a prospective buyer is to identify and correlate the valuable item or service with need or desire. It is better to test its utility first, for example, by borrowing it for a fixed time period. If you are satisfied and convinced about its necessity and think that you really need that, you may buy it. But to save money, you as a wise consumer must find the best seller in terms of comparative pricing, quality & market reputation.
For lower priced items, one has to shop for the lowest prices, also keeping an eye on the quality aspect. For example, if you take the instance of buying clothes, the best purchase is off-season discount sale, wherein you can get good clothes at cheap rates.
For financial investments, like the stock market, follow the golden rule of buying volatile stocks when the price of an item is down & sell it when it is at a high. The profit thus earned can be invested in the equity market for steady items.
Today’s Internet has provided the best opportunities to shop vigorously for the best price before you actually drop the money. Especially for insurance, loan facilities and financial management, one is spoilt for choices. Proper analysis of rates and amortization goes a long way in saving even hundreds of dollars in a year.
Change of plan in case of services like telephone, insurance, etc. can save you costly dollars provided you simply have the knowledge about the best existing plan.
Making a monthly budget for buying the essential items and regulating the number of luxury items can yield considerable savings.
Expensive weekends and extravagant outings should be replaced by reasonable excursion for wholesale entertainment.
Proper food planning and food habits result in better living, both financially and mentally. Stay healthy and you can save on medical bills. Having a proper food plan also prevents food from being wasted.
Paying the bills within due dates provides invaluable savings, because, in this case, as you have to pay, it is better to pay in time to avoid penalty.
If you are an employer, you should encourage flexible job responsibilities for your task force, making each one compatible with the work within a department. This will help in cutting down employees cost and help complete a task within time, even if someone is absent.
yitThere are obviously several other ways to save money and lead a frugal life without tension. It is always told that money saved is money earned. Just keep it in mind and stay happy.