So this morning, I woke up an hour later than I’d planned. Then, as I was trying to make coffee, I realized that my feet were getting wet. It turned out that a hose under the kitchen sink was split and water was spraying everywhere.
All I could think about was the fact that I had SOOOOO much to do today and this was going to mean having to put off things that mattered to me. I had deadlines to meet, laundry to do…kids to love, home to clean.
It figured, I thought. It was going to be one of those days. (Stink thinking, people. Read on.)
As usual, my mind started racing, coming up with possible solutions. I could go to the hardware store after I got the boys on their respective buses…but then I didn’t know if I could replace the stupid thing myself. I mean, I’m not a freaking plumber, right?? Speaking of plumbers, should I call one?
No, the hubs knows how to do it. Why bother the plumber?
Then, I remembered that he’d gone into work super early this morning and would be working all day. I didn’t want him to have to spend his evening replacing the plumbing. So, I tried to repair the hose myself. Without the proper supplies, it didn’t work out so well.
I won’t bore you with any more of my plumbing woes, but let me just say this. As annoyed became upset and upset became super-freaking-stressed–I suddenly realized it.
My perspective was completely askew. Here I was, in my safe and beautiful home, a healthy woman with an amazing and healthy family–bitching because I had to reschedule my fabulous (yes, even though laundry and housework were planned–still fabulous) day.
Yeah, that was a wake up call.
Instead of feeling angry and upset with this unplanned situation, I decided to change my mind. It’s really all in one’s perspective.
So, instead of dwelling on the things I’d planned to do, I will focus on the fact that I can afford to drive my car to the store and purchase the new faucet and hoses. That is a gift, and I’m grateful for it.
Instead of complaining that I now have to “get ready” (y’all know I don’t go anywhere in public without looking good), I am grateful that I have running water, a hair dryer and a high-end hair straightener. 😉
Instead of being upset about any of it, I am grateful that I have the means, the health and the ability to get this problem solved. I am grateful for my life–because, really, in the grand scheme of it all–it rocks.
As Carlos Castenada once said, “The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same.”
I know this to be true: when you feel stressed, sad, upset or angry–gratitude is the answer.
Take a minute and look around your life. You have a lot for which to be grateful. Take a moment and be so–really feel that gratitude. Let it wash over you. The results will surprise and impress you–suddenly everything seems better, do-able.
So here’s my challenge for you today. It’s a simple one really–change your perspective. Decide that whatever you deal with will be a breeze today, and remember to keep your mind in a state of gratitude as you go about your day.
I’ll bet you’ll find that you feel a sense of peace throughout your day. What do you think?
Angela Atkinson is a certified trauma counselor and the author of more than 20 books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and related topics. A recognized expert on narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder who has studied and written extensively on narcissistic personality disorder and narcissistic abuse in toxic relationships since 2006, she has a popular narcissistic abuse recovery YouTube channel. Atkinson was inspired to begin her work as a result of having survived toxic relationships of her own.
Atkinson offers trauma-informed narcissistic abuse recovery coaching and has certifications in trauma counseling, life coaching, level 2 therapeutic model, CBT coaching, integrative wellness coaching, and NLP. She is a certified trauma support coach and certified family trauma professional. She also has a professional PTSD counseling certification. Her mission is to help those who have experienced the emotional and mental devastation that comes with narcissistic abuse in these incredibly toxic relationships to (re)discover their true selves, stop the gaslighting and manipulation, and move forward into their genuine desires – into a life that is exactly what they choose for themselves.
Along with her solution-focused life coaching experience, Atkinson’s previous career in journalism and research helps her to offer both accurate and understandable information for survivors of abuse in a simple-to-understand way that helps to increase awareness in the narcissistic abuse recovery community. Atkinson founded QueenBeeing.com Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support, the SPANily Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups and the Life Makeover Academy.
She offers individual and group coaching for victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse here at QueenBeeing.com and at NarcissisticAbuseRecovery.Online.