If you’re co-parenting with a narcissist, this is one group you’ll want to join. SPANily Support for Co-Parenting with a Narcissist is a parenting-focused narcissistic abuse recovery support group by Angie Atkinson and QueenBeeing.com.
Things to Know About the SPANily Support Group for Co-Parenting with a Narcissist
- This online support group is focused on co-parenting with a narcissist and offers support and parent-to-parent advice, along with friends and fellowship.
- The group is part of the QueenBeeing SPANily family of narcissistic abuse recovery support groups.
- Your group leaders are Angie Atkinson, Lise Colucci, Colleen Brosnan, and Misty Dawn. Each of us is a certified life coach and has personal experience co-parenting/parallel parenting with narcissists. Among the four of us, there are kids ranging in age from toddlers to grown adults.
- The group is 100 percent free and we do not ever try to pressure you into paying for anything.
- We are here to support you and we expect you to support our fellow survivors/parents in this group in return.
Please Note: You are invited and encouraged to join more than one of our narcissistic abuse recovery support groups if you feel that others will also help you. We have a number of groups based on various life situations, including but not limited to the official QueenBeeing SPANily, our largest and most active group. See more groups here.
More Information On Co-parenting with a Narcissist
In general, when you’re not living together but share a child, the QueenBeeing team believes in Parallel Parenting when we are co-parenting with a narcissist. This is the best and, in our opinion, the only effective option for parenting your child when you have to share a child with a narcissist.
How do you parallel parent with a narcissist?
As frustrating and upsetting as it can be, parallel parenting allows you to maintain your sanity. You accomplish it by parenting in your own way at your home and allowing the narcissist to parent their own way (within reason) at their home. In other words, we find it effective to parent in a parallel fashion, rather than expecting a narcissist to take part in a fair partnership as two parents of the same child/children. This is because it’s sadly not possible to co-parent with a toxic person in a healthy way.
Why Co-parenting with a Narcissist Doesn’t Work
For example, if you were to require your kids to go to bed at a certain time but find out that the narcissist allows them to stay up all night, you might feel annoyed and upset because the kids are off-schedule and even complaining that it’s “more fun” at the other parent’s house. You could go ahead and fight with the narcissist about it, which will inevitably lead to stress, anger, and drama that only ends if you give in (for the most part), or you can just accept it and be the stable parent when your kids are in your home. While this might not feel easy, your kids will actually thank you for it one day in many cases.
Plus, if you’re dealing with a narcissistic ex, then you already know that any argument you have with them will never end in them agreeing they were wrong about something. So, essentially by parallel parenting, you are saving yourself a lot of time and unnecessary turmoil.
That is of course an over-simplification as there are so many dynamics involved in toxic relationships with narcissists, and every situation is different. Clearly if whatever the narcissist is dong is endangering your kids’ health or wellbeing, you have to take action.
No Contact vs. Low Contact with a Narcissist Co-parent
While we recommend going no contact as one of the best and most important steps to help in your healing from narcissistic abuse, we are well aware that this isn’t always an option, and that is especially true when we have children with a narcissist. That’s why we suggest low contact instead. Low contact simply means you ONLY deal with and communicate with the narcissist about the business of raising the children – and you do not give them your emotions, positive or negative.
Here are some additional resources to help you deal with co-parenting with a narcissist.
Videos on Parallel Parenting, Narcissistic Parents and Toxic Family Structure
- Parental Alienation and Narcissism
- 24 Selfish, Weird Things Narcissist Parents Do (Narcissistic Abuse Exposed)
- How to Help Your Child Cope With a Narcissistic Co-Parent or Grandparent
- No Contact Rules with Kids & Narcissist and No Contact Guilt, Featuring Richard Grannon
- Narcissistic Parents, Toxic Families & Codependency: The Effects on Children and How to Manage Them
- Dysfunctional Family Rules
- Narcissistic Family Structure: Psychology and Healing of the Lost Child
- 22 Signs You’re Coparenting with a Narcissist
- Child Custody and Narcissists – Can You Avoid a Custody Battle with a Narcissist Coparent in Court?
- Court with a Narcissist – How to Win
- Playlist on Coparenting and Parallel Parenting with a Narcissist
Articles on Co-parenting with a Narcissist
- Identifying and Managing the Effects of a Narcissistic Parent on Your Child
- Breaking the Toxic Narcissistic Abuse Cycle: When Your Child’s Other Parent is a Narcissist
- 7 Apps to Make Co-parenting with a Narcissist Easier
Want more personal, direct support in your co-parenting efforts? Sign up for one-on-one coaching for personal, confidential support in co-parenting and parallel parenting with a narcissist. We have a proven record of helping our fellow survivors negotiate and effectively manage their co-parenting relationships. If you’re looking for help with navigating the court system, our divorce coach Misty Dawn is also a paralegal and our legal expert – you can schedule with her here.