“People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can’t find them make them.” ~George Bernard Shaw
Each and every one of us has some desire in us right this very moment to create change in our lives. Whether it’s personal change or circumstantial, we all know what we want, deep down inside.
The good news is that we can effect change in our lives. So how does one go about creating the life one desires?
As we begin to explore Project Blissful, the first and most important step is to fully understand what you want and need in your life. Try this exercise.
Imagine that you are a fly on the wall. A loved one or friend is describing you to another person, in great detail. They discuss your appearance, your habits, your personality. They talk about your beliefs and morals and values. Essentially, your friend or loved one tells this person everything about you.
How does this make you feel? Happy and secure, or a little nervous?
Now, ask yourself: What would my loved one or friend say about me? How would I be described?
Next, change it up. Grab a pen and notebook (or a blank Word document).
Sit down and ask yourself how you would WANT to be described. Do you want to be known as a spiritual person? A hard worker? An artist? A great mom or dad? Hip, cool, or chic?
Now, imagine how the conversation would go. Write it down. For example, if you want to be a better golfer, you might write, “Susie is the best golfer I’ve ever met.”
This is a great way to figure out your desires and determine your goals.
Once you’ve written the conversation, you can review it regularly to remind yourself of your goals.
Remember to take care of yourself and to be the person you truly want to be. Next time, we will discuss more ways to effect personal change in your life. For a little inspiration, check out the following advice from Christian D. Larson:
To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet.
To make all your friends feel that there is something in them
To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.
To think only the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.
To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature you meet a smile.
To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud words but great deeds.
To live in faith that the whole world is on your side so long as you are true to the best that is in you.
Angela Atkinson is a Certified Life Coach and the author of more than 20 books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery and related topics. A recognized expert on narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder who has studied and written extensively on narcissistic relationships since 2006, Atkinson was inspired to begin her work as a result of having survived toxic relationships of her own.
Atkinson offers trauma-informed coaching and has certifications in life coaching, level 2 therapeutic model, CBT coaching, integrative wellness coaching, and NLP. She is a certified trauma support coach and certified family trauma professional. She also has a professional PTSD counseling certification. Her mission is to help those who have experienced the emotional and mental devastation that comes with narcissistic abuse in these incredibly toxic relationships to (re)discover their true selves, stop the gaslighting and manipulation and move forward into their genuine desires – into a life that is exactly what they choose for themselves.
Along with her solution-focused life coaching experience, Atkinson’s previous career in journalism and research helps her to offer both accurate and understandable information for survivors of abuse in a simple-to-understand way that helps to increase awareness in the narcissistic abuse recovery community. Atkinson founded QueenBeeing.com Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support, the SPANily Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups and the Life Makeover Academy. In her life coaching practice, Atkinson’s clients enjoy her personalized approach that allows and encourages them to become the best possible versions of themselves and to succeed in doing what they love most. She offers individual and group coaching for victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse at NarcissisticAbuseRecovery.Online and NarcissismSupportCoach.com.