In the first two installments of the Creating Personal Change Series, we discussed ideas for determining our personal fulfillment goals and for removing negative and judgmental thoughts from our minds.
Today, as we work toward creating personal change, we’re going to focus on your environment, at least the part of it that you can directly affect.
Take a look around your home, noticing specifically the areas in which you spend the majority of your time. According to Peter Walsh, of Oprah fame, our homes are a direct reflection of ourselves (and, apparently, a direct reflection on the size of our backsides.)
So, the first step in determining your course of action is simply checking out the place. Pretend you’re a guest, and go outside and then walk into your home with fresh eyes. Look around you and ask yourself what sort of person lives there? What does the decor say about you? How about the level of tidiness, or lack thereof?
Sometimes this exercise can be very therapeutic, even helping us to discover and resolve issues we don’t otherwise realize we are experiencing.
Once you’ve taken a look around, grab a pen and a notebook and jot down your thoughts. Is your home saying what you want it to say? If not, what can you do to change that?
Often, a simple clean up job will do the trick, or at least get things moving in the right direction. If you find yourself overwhelmed, check out the Flylady system for inspiration.
Get rid of anything you don’t love, don’t use, or don’t need. And, if you’re like me, you love a lot of stuff. Depending on your goals, you may want to focus on organizing a bit. Since as go our homes, so go our lives, spending a little time organizing can literally help us to straighten out our heads at the same time.
Next, pull out the old “to do” list. Go around and replace burnt out light bulbs, batteries in clocks, and furnace filters. Handle any minor home repairs and be sure everything is in good working order. Call a professional if you can afford it–if not, just do what you can.
Finally, think about re-decorating an area of the house, preferably one which you use often (even the bathroom!). Even a small change can really freshen up a room, and you can do a lot with almost nothing. Consider re-arranging the furniture, changing the prints on the walls, even adding a little color to the room with paint or throw pillows.
Ultimately, your goal is to make your environment fit you. Let your home speak to the world about who you are, who you want to be. I challenge you today to take one small step toward this goal. You won’t regret it!
Angela Atkinson is a Certified Life Coach and the author of more than 20 books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery and related topics. A recognized expert on narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder who has studied and written extensively on narcissistic relationships since 2006, Atkinson was inspired to begin her work as a result of having survived toxic relationships of her own.
Atkinson offers trauma-informed coaching and has certifications in life coaching, level 2 therapeutic model, CBT coaching, integrative wellness coaching, and NLP. She is a certified trauma support coach and certified family trauma professional. She also has a professional PTSD counseling certification. Her mission is to help those who have experienced the emotional and mental devastation that comes with narcissistic abuse in these incredibly toxic relationships to (re)discover their true selves, stop the gaslighting and manipulation and move forward into their genuine desires – into a life that is exactly what they choose for themselves.
Along with her solution-focused life coaching experience, Atkinson’s previous career in journalism and research helps her to offer both accurate and understandable information for survivors of abuse in a simple-to-understand way that helps to increase awareness in the narcissistic abuse recovery community. Atkinson founded QueenBeeing.com Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support, the SPANily Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups and the Life Makeover Academy. In her life coaching practice, Atkinson’s clients enjoy her personalized approach that allows and encourages them to become the best possible versions of themselves and to succeed in doing what they love most. She offers individual and group coaching for victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse at NarcissisticAbuseRecovery.Online and NarcissismSupportCoach.com.