Narcissists have a way of sucking all the joy from your life. For example, you may have experienced the situation in which the narcissist tries repeatedly to argue with you, but you foil him or her again and again. You finally give up and retreat into blessed dissociation, the only sanctuary you have from this toxic abuse.
Before long, s/he’s popping in and out of the room, desperately trying to pick a fight. Pretending to be light and breezy – maybe even charming – but just under the surface bubbles up the toxic bile he’s about to spew upon you.
You can feel his/her energy practically scalding you as the narcissist enters the room – it’s so intense you can almost feel him/her buzzing with vindictive venom, prepared to strike out for any infraction, real or perceived.
The narcissist grows tired of being ignored: s/he needs to be the center of attention. He or she goes on about the business of shamelessly placing all of the blame for everything that’s wrong in your lives squarely on your shoulders – as usual. He (or she) calls you lazy, stupid … not good enough – or whatever his version of that is. The gaslighting begins, and you find yourself freezing – or falling into flight or flight mode – without even realizing it.
S/he pulls trigger after trigger – literally trying everything to get your attention so he can unleash his pent up narcissistic rage all over you and finally relieve himself of the pain.
He uses you like a drug, to soothe his guilty and self-hating soul. As he spews his bile, you are melted, bit by bit. Now you make a choice on how to react. It’s time you learn how to use the gray rock method – safely.
Let’s Talk About the Gray Rock Method
Communicating with a narcissist can be frustrating, especially when it matters that they comprehend what you’re saying. They will be thicker than concrete walls, intentionally trying to misunderstand you and assume the worst of you, in every single word.
The Gray Rock Method will help you to communicate effectively with a narcissist and avoid drama as much as possible. It’s the only way that you’ll ever be able to have any control over a narcissist at all – and the only means of effective communication in the long run. You may have heard of the gray rock method before, especially if you know you’re dealing with a toxic narcissist. But you may not realize that there’s a very real danger in using this technique – and it isn’t what you suspect (it doesn’t have anything to do with the narcissist directly!).
In this video, I’ll explain what the gray rock method is, and I’ll tell you who invented it – plus, I’ll offer tips and ideas on using the method to communicate effectively with a narcissist – plus I’ll fill you in on what the dangerous part of the gray rock method really is – and how you can avoid it.
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Angela Atkinson is a certified trauma counselor and the author of more than 20 books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and related topics. A recognized expert on narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder who has studied and written extensively on narcissistic personality disorder and narcissistic abuse in toxic relationships since 2006, she has a popular narcissistic abuse recovery YouTube channel. Atkinson was inspired to begin her work as a result of having survived toxic relationships of her own.
Atkinson offers trauma-informed narcissistic abuse recovery coaching and has certifications in trauma counseling, life coaching, level 2 therapeutic model, CBT coaching, integrative wellness coaching, and NLP. She is a certified trauma support coach and certified family trauma professional. She also has a professional PTSD counseling certification. Her mission is to help those who have experienced the emotional and mental devastation that comes with narcissistic abuse in these incredibly toxic relationships to (re)discover their true selves, stop the gaslighting and manipulation, and move forward into their genuine desires – into a life that is exactly what they choose for themselves.
Along with her solution-focused life coaching experience, Atkinson’s previous career in journalism and research helps her to offer both accurate and understandable information for survivors of abuse in a simple-to-understand way that helps to increase awareness in the narcissistic abuse recovery community. Atkinson founded QueenBeeing.com Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support, the SPANily Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups and the Life Makeover Academy.
She offers individual and group coaching for victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse here at QueenBeeing.com and at NarcissisticAbuseRecovery.Online.
