How to Deal When the World Disappoints You

Written by Angela Atkinson

“I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.” ~Audrey Hepburn

audrey3I love that quote. I really do–it’s one of my favorites. But look, I’m going to be super honest here–and I hope you take this for what it’s worth, some days, I just don’t quite feel it.

If you’ve been reading my work long, you know I’m responsible for a variety of niche websites. As the creator of QueenBeeing and all of its current sub-sites (How to Be a Hot Wife, Project Blissful, #StyleBuzz Project Blissful Style, for example), I’m really pretty familiar with ME and how to be the best possible me I can be.

See, all of these sites have one thing in common: they’re focused on becoming BETTER—a better version of myself.

In fact, all of those sites led to this one; that’s why QueenBeeing exists—it is the whole enchilada—everything that, for me, represents being the best possible version of myself and of creating and living the life I desire, all collected in one beautiful, ever-evolving place.

Each site was representative of a certain part of myself that I was working to improve or otherwise more fully embrace in my life—my marriage, my physical and mental health, my fashion sense—just to name a few.

And as you may or may not know, I’ve had some pretty tremendous results thanks to this commitment—but it doesn’t mean I’m perfect.

I am my brand and I try to always follow my own advice.

I actively and diligently practice what I preach here, too—no joke. Everything I personally write about, unless otherwise noted and/or quoted, is something that I have personally experienced, attempted or personally discovered/realized through my studies and research of people and sociology. And, just like my readers, I’m ever-evolving, always trying to be and do better, for myself, my family and the world around me.

With all of that being said, I would love to sit here and tell you that because I am actively attempting to live my own message and to truly BE my personal brand, I have no issues and am always totally 100 percent on point with my whole inner peace/happiness/personal fulfillment deal. I really would.

But I’ve vowed to be myself, to be brutally honest with my readers, so here’s my real truth: I’m totally human. So. Not. Perfect.

And sometimes? The world pisses me off a little bit.

pantiesFor example, last week, my husband turned on some discussion on Fox News channel (which I do not normally watch).

As usual, I zoned out and attempted to focus on my own thing…until I heard some right-wing commenter talking about President Obama and how “the world seems to disappoint him.”

(I’m so not going to comment on the political crap there, because that’s not why I’m mentioning it. Please understand that the following is not in any way a political commentary, it’s just a personal one that is referencing a random comment made about a random person in the world!)

Anyway, in that moment, when I happened to be feeling a little bit surly about the world, I got it.

Sometimes, to be honest, the world disappoints me, too.

So for a minute, I let myself stew on that feeling. About two seconds later, I noticed that particular feeling sucked. I didn’t want to feel like that one second longer—it felt awful. Who wants to be disappointed by the world?

And here, my friends, is where I tell you the good news: I’m not completely full of shit, after all.

I truly do live my message.

Here’s what I did to stop feeling all that negativity and get my head back in the right place.

I just changed my mind.

Yeah, I know, that sounds WAY too simple—and it kinda is—but hear me out. What I mean by change my mind is to change the way I saw the situation–to change my perception.

The very first thing I did was to allow myself to refocus – to literally become distracted from the negative thoughts, but in a super-productive way. I use an internal distraction/redirection technique that involves a simple memorized affirmation phrase. Mine is:

“I now cancel that thought and replace it with this affirmation of my true divine desire: (insert your own better, more positive thought here).”

I do this because making myself think OR say those exact words takes exactly the amount of time that seems to be required to distract myself from the negative thoughts.

That offers me enough time to recognize what I’m doing to myself: the more negatively I allow myself to react, the more of that kind of stuff I’ll be drawing into my life. But if I can stay mostly positive, life will reflect the same kind of mostly awesome. I know this to be true, because I’ve experienced it personally, again and again. I’m constantly amazed by it and always, always grateful. <3

How do you get over it when the world disappoints you? Share your thoughts in the comments section, below.

Author

  • Angela Atkinson

    Angela Atkinson is a certified trauma counselor and the author of more than 20 books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and related topics. A recognized expert on narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder who has studied and written extensively on narcissistic personality disorder and narcissistic abuse in toxic relationships since 2006, she has a popular narcissistic abuse recovery YouTube channel. Atkinson was inspired to begin her work as a result of having survived toxic relationships of her own. Atkinson offers trauma-informed narcissistic abuse recovery coaching and has certifications in trauma counseling, life coaching, level 2 therapeutic model, CBT coaching, integrative wellness coaching, and NLP. She is a certified trauma support coach and certified family trauma professional. She also has a professional PTSD counseling certification. Her mission is to help those who have experienced the emotional and mental devastation that comes with narcissistic abuse in these incredibly toxic relationships to (re)discover their true selves, stop the gaslighting and manipulation, and move forward into their genuine desires – into a life that is exactly what they choose for themselves. Along with her solution-focused life coaching experience, Atkinson’s previous career in journalism and research helps her to offer both accurate and understandable information for survivors of abuse in a simple-to-understand way that helps to increase awareness in the narcissistic abuse recovery community. Atkinson founded QueenBeeing.com Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support, the SPANily Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups and the Life Makeover Academy. She offers individual and group coaching for victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse here at QueenBeeing.com and at NarcissisticAbuseRecovery.Online.

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