April 6, 2009
As we walk together on this pursuit of fulfillment, we become increasingly aware of the effect our emotions can have on our success.
Noticing and acknowledging our emotions is an important step in creating personal change in our lives. Every one of us has dealt with anxiety at one time or another, and while anxiety can have the positive effect of spurring us to take action, it can also become crippling.
And I don’t know about you, but while I’m really good at dealing with anxiety in most situations, one or two specific issues still give me grief when they come up. And I’m not talking about a passing blip on the screen of life–I’m talking about all-encompassing and overwhelming mental and physical effects.
We all have an Achilles heel, of course. And while we definitely need to acknowledge these and accept them for what they are, we must also learn to use the anxiety they cause in a positive way.
Extreme anxiety can cause physical health issues–digestive, cardiac, dermatological, and many more. It can also cause emotional and mental health issues like depression. So how do you use this type of anxiety effectively?
What can you do to deal with and eliminate anxiety?
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Start your day with a few affirmations of your true divine desires–know what you want and affirm it to yourself every day. If you have an Achilles heel that causes you extreme anxiety, include it in your affirmations. For example, if money is your hot button issue, affirm to yourself every day that “I always have more money than I need.”
Take It Easy
Give yourself a break once in a while. In this society, one of the most common anxiety button-pushers is the feeling of being overwhelmed. We have so many responsibilities and so much going on that we forget that we need downtime now and then. If you can, make it a point to have at least ten minutes a day of quiet time. Maybe go for a walk after dinner, or have a cup of tea while the kids nap.
Focus on What You Want (Instead of what you don’t)
Remember that what you think about most often is what manifests in your life. For example, if you’re worried that it’s going to rain on your wedding day, it probably will. Instead, imagine the beautifully sunny day you’ll marry the love of your life. Focus on how beautiful (or handsome) you’ll look. Think happy thoughts folks. Sounds simple, but it makes such a difference. (Your daily affirmations will help with this!)
If you’re stressing about something, oftentimes taking even one step toward making things better is all it takes to get the ball rolling (and the anxiety out!). So, for example, if you’re stressing about the chipped paint in your bathroom, go out and pick up some paint samples and begin to make plans to paint the room. You’ll be surprised at how much anxiety can be relieved by even the smallest action. Just do it, as those Nike folks like to say.
Keep At It
Don’t give in to the anxiety. Or, if you do, pull yourself back up and move forward. Fake it a little if you have to–till you make it. Each of us has a different idea of personal fulfillment, but we are all ever-evolving and ever-changing.
Love, love, love
One final reminder: remember to love yourself, and to love those around you. When we are dealing with personal anxiety issues, especially those “hot button” ones, many of us find that we take it out not only on ourselves but on those around us. If you find yourself snapping at your spouse or kids (or roomie, co-worker, etc), do a quick self-assessment. Ask yourself, “What is REALLY bothering me?”
The bottom line is this: allowing anxiety to take over your life is a recipe for disaster. You’re worth more than that. Do something good for yourself today–change your mind.
Angela Atkinson is a certified trauma counselor and the author of more than 20 books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and related topics. A recognized expert on narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder who has studied and written extensively on narcissistic personality disorder and narcissistic abuse in toxic relationships since 2006, she has a popular narcissistic abuse recovery YouTube channel. Atkinson was inspired to begin her work as a result of having survived toxic relationships of her own.
Atkinson offers trauma-informed narcissistic abuse recovery coaching and has certifications in trauma counseling, life coaching, level 2 therapeutic model, CBT coaching, integrative wellness coaching, and NLP. She is a certified trauma support coach and certified family trauma professional. She also has a professional PTSD counseling certification. Her mission is to help those who have experienced the emotional and mental devastation that comes with narcissistic abuse in these incredibly toxic relationships to (re)discover their true selves, stop the gaslighting and manipulation, and move forward into their genuine desires – into a life that is exactly what they choose for themselves.
Along with her solution-focused life coaching experience, Atkinson’s previous career in journalism and research helps her to offer both accurate and understandable information for survivors of abuse in a simple-to-understand way that helps to increase awareness in the narcissistic abuse recovery community. Atkinson founded QueenBeeing.com Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support, the SPANily Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups and the Life Makeover Academy.
She offers individual and group coaching for victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse at NarcissisticAbuseRecovery.Online.