Love and marriage. How’s the old saying go? It’s an institute you can’t disparage? But seriously, if you’re married and you have kids, you know how hard it can be to keep the marriage spicy while being a good mom.
As news of New Girl star Zooey Deschanel’s recent unannouced marriage and birth of her daughter spreads, many are left scratchng their heads, wondering how she managed to keep the wedding a secret – a difficult feat for celebs these days.
According to a spokesperson, “…Zooey Deschanel and her husband, Jacob Pechenik, are new parents to a beautiful healthy baby girl.”
Though we can pretty safely rule out a shotgun wedding, Deschanel and Pechenik tied the knot on June 21st in Austin, Texas. Just weeks later, the blushing bride gave birth in the same city.
“Jacob and I are over the moon. We are so excited to meet our little one,” Deschanel said in January when she announced the pregnancy.
Well, Mrs. Pechenik, around here? We understand what it means to be a working mom, so we’ve got some advice for you on how to keep your marriage strong as you jump into motherhood with both feet. Ready for this?
Hot Wife Guide: Keep Your Marriage Strong (And Raise Your Kids At the Same Time)
It’s not easy to balance a successful career and family life. However, working mothers are willing to share their relationship maintenance secrets.
Maintain your romantic and family relationships and your job with these tips – and get a few more here.
Maybe it’s nont romantic, but find a reliable planner. What do you use to plan your schedule in advance? A reliable planner is an important part of trying to balance work and family.
- A planner will help you schedule your work and family time to avoid missing an important event for either one.
- Use the planner to schedule relationship time, too. Date nights and fun activities with the children are popular options.
Did I mention, planning? Cook ahead. Planning and cooking your meals ahead of time will give you the chance to focus on your relationships. Cook multiple meals in advance and stock the freezer.
- If you have a freezer filled with meals that are ready to be heated, then you can spend more time enjoying your family. Instead of worrying about what they will have for dinner, you can have a meal plan in place for an entire month.
Boundaries, guidelines and work. Set guidelines at work. Does your career make it difficult to see your family every night? Working mothers can set guidelines at work, so their lives are more balanced.
- Does work prevent you from seeing your partner and enjoying dinner together? If you can establish overtime rules, then you can try to find a balance between long hours and your relationship.
- Inform your boss about important family events ahead of time, so your work is aware that family is a priority.
Pick up tips from other working mothers. Your friends and coworkers can share valuable advice with you about work and relationships. You shouldn’t be afraid to start a conversation about maintaining your relationship. (And Zooey? For you, this is gonna mean those fellow celeb moms – we like JLo and Beyonce around here, among others!).
- Find a reliable friend. It’s not easy to balance work and family at the same time, but a reliable friend can help you during difficult situations.
- Who can you turn to for help balancing your career and relationship? Do you have a trustworthy friend who can support you? Instead of trying to control every aspect of life, you can delegate certain activities to a friend.
- Strong friendships are built on mutual trust and assistance, so be prepared to step in if a friend needs you.
Did your babysitter cancel on your date night? This is a good opportunity to turn to friends who can help you maintain your relationship. Your child can have a sleepover at their house while you have date night.
Spend five minutes a day alone with your hubby. Working mothers rarely have any alone time with their partners. However, just five minutes a day can make a big impact on relationship maintenance. It’s important that you be completely alone with your partner for at least a few minutes a day.
- You can set aside five minutes in the morning or evening to spend with your partner. Children, friends, and other family members shouldn’t be in the room with you. In addition, put away tech gadgets that distract you.
- You can set a timer for five minutes and talk or cuddle. The goal is to focus on each other.
Relationships need to be nurtured so they thrive. If you’re a working mother, take advantage of these tips to help you find a balance between your job, sweetheart, and kids. You’ve got this!
So what is your advice for working moms? How about for Zooey Deschanel? Share your thoughts in the comments section.
Angela Atkinson is a Certified Life Coach and the author of more than 20 books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery and related topics. A recognized expert on narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder who has studied and written extensively on narcissistic relationships since 2006, Atkinson was inspired to begin her work as a result of having survived toxic relationships of her own.
Atkinson offers trauma-informed coaching and has certifications in life coaching, level 2 therapeutic model, CBT coaching, integrative wellness coaching, and NLP. She is a certified trauma support coach and certified family trauma professional. She also has a professional PTSD counseling certification. Her mission is to help those who have experienced the emotional and mental devastation that comes with narcissistic abuse in these incredibly toxic relationships to (re)discover their true selves, stop the gaslighting and manipulation and move forward into their genuine desires – into a life that is exactly what they choose for themselves.
Along with her solution-focused life coaching experience, Atkinson’s previous career in journalism and research helps her to offer both accurate and understandable information for survivors of abuse in a simple-to-understand way that helps to increase awareness in the narcissistic abuse recovery community. Atkinson founded QueenBeeing.com Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support, the SPANily Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups and the Life Makeover Academy. In her life coaching practice, Atkinson’s clients enjoy her personalized approach that allows and encourages them to become the best possible versions of themselves and to succeed in doing what they love most. She offers individual and group coaching for victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse at NarcissisticAbuseRecovery.Online and NarcissismSupportCoach.com.