A viewer asks: “I am pretty sure my ex is a Narc. The biggest problem I have is I feel I caused it. I always described our relationship as a push/pull in the beginning. He would be good for a little bit and then go to his shitty self-centered ways. But when he loved you, it was like being engulfed in the sun. I met a man and we started talking. I was feeling like I needed to leave my marriage and yes, one thing lead to another and I ended up having an affair. I tried to divorce him. He was so devasted he couldn’t go to work, said he’d get on medication… which I knew he needed for his depression. I felt horrible and I stayed. Fast forward 13 years later, we’re divorced. He had many affairs… 9 that I know of to date. I lived like we were walking on eggshells. I kept putting up with everything because I felt I did this to him… my behavior turned him into this monster. Can that happen? Can someone turn into this from being hurt like that?”
I’ll answer this question and fully explain my answer in this video.