Do you have a narcissistic abuse recovery support system?
Have you dealt with narcissistic abuse in a toxic relationship? If you have, Let me ask you a question. As a survivor of narcissistic abuse, do you have a good support system in place for those bad days when the anxiety becomes too much, or you start to slide into depression? A handful of people who are there for you, that you can use as a soundboard and whose shoulders you can lean on can be invaluable in times of high anxiety?
Why do we need a narcissistic abuse recovery support system?
We’ve talked in the past about the fact that we can get in a spiral of anxiety that it’s hard to get out of. We are anxious and worried, which in turn makes us more anxious and worried about being anxious and worried. You get the idea. If you rely solely on yourself in those situations, it can be hard to get out of your own head long enough to look at the situation objectively and realize that things aren’t nearly as bad or frightening as they seem. This is where that support system will come in handy.
Who should be involved in your narcissistic abuse recovery system?
Think about the people in your life that you are close to. Who gets you? Who understands the anxiety you suffer from? Who is good at pulling you out when you’re having a bad day by offering a hug, drags you out for coffee, or uses humor to make you forget what you’re anxious about, even for just a few minutes?
While you may not feel like socializing when you’re having a rough day or week, or if the idea of spending time with people in itself may make you a little anxious (particularly if you’re an introvert), social contact and connections are important. We are at our core social creatures. That’s why it’s important to set up that support system and reach out to it in times of need.
Of course, you aren’t limited to your circle of family and friends when it comes to this support system. Maybe you aren’t comfortable sharing your anxiety issues with them. Maybe they aren’t willing or in a position to provide you with the encouragement and support you need. Or maybe they just aren’t quite enough help. That’s ok.
What if your friends and family can’t help or don’t understand?
It is not unusual to feel a lack of support when you’ve been through narcissistic abuse, unfortunately. This is for a few different reasons.
1. People haven’t experienced this kind of abuse, so they don’t quite “get it” when you try to share your struggles and milestones.
2. Narcissists have a way of pushing people away from you, so you may not have very many people who you feel you can trust in your life. Or, the narcissist has turned everyone against you – or they are unable to support you due to their fear of the abuser.
3. In some cases, the person who has abused you is surrounded by flying monkeys – willing or unwilling – who support the narcissist and not you. These people may also be the only people in your life.
Who can support you if the people in your life cannot?
Finding a support group or can be a big help. A therapist or narcissistic abuse recovery coach or a small coaching group can be another key figure in your support system. If you are seeing a therapist right now, or are working with a narcissistic abuse recovery counselor or coach, ask them for help to build out the rest of your support system.
Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Resources
- The QueenBeeing SPANily, Official – We consider this to be the best narcissistic abuse recovery support group on the web. Offers several subgroups and features a vigilant, compassionate admin team full of trained coaches and survivors, supporting more than 12k members. SPAN is an acronym created by Angie Atkinson that stands for Support for People Affected by Narcissistic abuse in toxic relationships.
- Other Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups – We also have separate groups for each stage in your narcissistic abuse recovery, as well as some for those who have moved past recovery and are evolving into the next stage of their own life. Survivors have unique and individual needs, even when they’ve moved on – so we’re still here for you.
- One-on-One Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coaching – If you prefer to get more personalized support in your recovery, you might like to schedule a session with one of our coaches to plan and execute your own narcissistic abuse recovery plan.
- Find a Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Therapist – If you’re looking for a therapist for narcissistic abuse recovery, either because you cannot afford coaching and want to use your health insurance or because you have additional issues you need to address that do not fall within the realm of coaching, you will want to find the right therapist for you – and as far as we’re concerned, that therapist must understand what you’ve been through. This page offers assistance to help you do exactly that.
- Where Are You in Recovery? You might not be sure exactly where you fit in and what level of recovery you’ve achieved. If that’s the case, you’ll want to check out this self-assessment to help you determine exactly where you fall in the stages of recovery from narcissistic abuse. Once you finish and submit the assessment, you will be given resources for your own situation, along with recommendations of which groups to join.
- Which Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program is Right for You? If you aren’t sure which program you want to utilize to facilitate your recovery from narcissistic abuse, this self-assessment will help you decide.