I generally work really hard to stay positive. But I’m human, and I’ll admit it – a few months ago, I had a minor rant about a dumb blonde joke a woman posted in one of my Facebook groups (which is for people who’ve dealt with narcissistic abuse in toxic relationships).
So, whatever – I got some writing inspiration out of the deal. I moved on.
But now, I’ve just about had it with women and their hatefulness toward one another.
Enter exhibit A.
I’m sorry. But are you effing kidding me?
This photo implies that:
The blonde is stupid. And must have perfect vision. And that she can’t be a “nerd” – AKA, smart person. Oh, and it completely invalidates her and anyone who looks lie her.
You wanna talk about stereotypes and being judged on the way you look?
Everyone gets it in one way or another.
Yeah, I know, I’m being too sensitive – but I’m also the mother of a little girl who is blonde-ish and who needs to wear glasses…I don’t want this self-hating shit to grow and fester while she grows up – I want to help resolve it or reduce it so that we, as women, can expect a better future for our daughters, the way our foremothers did for us. So I had to put my little reminder in there. And, I don’t know, maybe she just didn’t see it – but the original poster didn’t respond.
Here’s the thing, ladies.
We have enough to deal with as women and stupid, sexist stereotypes that men tend to throw at us – whether they’re involving our intelligence or mental health (or lack thereof) or our sexual ethics (again, or lack thereof) or our personal style choices – men have some shit to say about us.
You feel me? So, when we do things like post sexist memes and act like we are sooo amused by these stereotypes, we are perpetuating another one: the self-hating woman. Or is it the “jealous hater” one? Or the “I’m so much better than you because I don’t care about my appearance at all” one?
In any case, I’ll tell you this much: it’s mean and it’s hurtful.
Whether you like it or not, everyone’s got feelings, and everyone deserves to have theirs respected. If random women are posting this kind of garbage in Facebook groups, we’ve got a problem.
Would you expect a a minister to post stuff that disproved religion? Or a gays rights leader to post negative jokes about gay people on his Facebook page?
Would a psychologist post material on how psychology doesn’t work? Would a doctor post links to articles about why you should never trust someone who practices Western Medicine?
Of course not. THAT would be crazy, right?
So, how about we all quit being bitches?
One of the best ways we can support a better future is to support our fellow females, live givers, life savers – and to stop being hateful, spiteful, jealous and catty to one another. Get over the mean girl shit already and move on. It’s 2016, for kiwi’s sake. .
Can I get an amen? Ha.
But seriously, let’s talk about it.
Okay, so tell me this: why is it okay for you, women, to tear other women down?
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: stand up, ladies, and support your fellow females. Stop aiding and abetting these sexist jerks who are still trying to hold that damn glass ceiling in place and let’s climb the collective ladder with our collective hammers in hand.
If we stick together, our abilities are limitless. But when we tear each other down, we are lost – we might as well just be “on our own” out there. Tearing down other women, believe it or not, will lead to your own personal sort of “tearing down,” because by the law of attraction, you are getting exactly what you’re putting out there. So what do you wanna get back?
Me? I choose love.
What do you think? Should women stop being such bitches to one another and start supporting each other as a gender? If we don’t stand up for one another, who will stand up for us?
Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments – I’m really interested in knowing your position on this one.
Angela Atkinson is a Certified Life Coach and the author of more than 20 books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery and related topics. A recognized expert on narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder who has studied and written extensively on narcissistic relationships since 2006, Atkinson was inspired to begin her work as a result of having survived toxic relationships of her own.
Atkinson offers trauma-informed coaching and has certifications in life coaching, level 2 therapeutic model, CBT coaching, integrative wellness coaching, and NLP. She is a certified trauma support coach and certified family trauma professional. She also has a professional PTSD counseling certification. Her mission is to help those who have experienced the emotional and mental devastation that comes with narcissistic abuse in these incredibly toxic relationships to (re)discover their true selves, stop the gaslighting and manipulation and move forward into their genuine desires – into a life that is exactly what they choose for themselves.
Along with her solution-focused life coaching experience, Atkinson’s previous career in journalism and research helps her to offer both accurate and understandable information for survivors of abuse in a simple-to-understand way that helps to increase awareness in the narcissistic abuse recovery community. Atkinson founded QueenBeeing.com Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support, the SPANily Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups and the Life Makeover Academy. In her life coaching practice, Atkinson’s clients enjoy her personalized approach that allows and encourages them to become the best possible versions of themselves and to succeed in doing what they love most. She offers individual and group coaching for victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse at NarcissisticAbuseRecovery.Online and NarcissismSupportCoach.com.