When there’s a narcissist involved in your life, the holidays are hell – and if you aren’t careful, they can completely throw you off track. Even if you’ve gone no contact and are now dealing with narcissistic abuse recovery, the holidays can be painful. That’s part of the reason it’s so difficult for a lot of us to get back on track after the holiday season ends.
I know that I have found myself out of my routine and feeling blocked most years around this time, so I thought it would be a good idea to figure out how to get focused again (this time, in advance of the actual day!).
Getting Your Groove Back
Whether you’re struggling with post-holiday letdown, or just general scattered-ness (like me), finding one’s groove again is a pretty common challenge after the holidays. That said, allow me to offer a few suggestions to help you (and me) get back on track!
1. Do your affirmations.
Whether you have a daily set or you just affirm as needed, get back into the groove of it. Maybe add one to your list like this: “I am grounded, centered, and focused.”
I find this little technique particularly simple and quite helpful:
Four-Corners Breathing How-To
1. Find an object nearby that has four corners — a box, your monitor, or even this page.
2. Start at the upper-left-hand corner and inhale for 4 counts.
3. Turn your gaze to the upper-right-hand corner and hold your breath for 4 counts.
4. Move to the lower-right-hand corner. Exhale for 4.
5. Now shift your attention to the lower-left-hand corner. Tell yourself to relax and smile. Repeat 3 to 5 times, or as often as you like.
3. Get off your butt.
That’s right, I said it. Get some exercise, get your blood flowing. You don’t have to make yourself sore, just move your body a little. Take a walk, dance with your kids, whatever. It will perk you right up.
4. Clean something.
De-holiday your house, or just dust the knick-knacks. Whatever works for you. Sometimes cleaning up around the house seems to translate into cleaning up the clutter in your head. At least it does for me.
5. Just do it.
You know, like those Nike people always used to say. Try going through the motions a little. For example, if you’re…say… a freelance writer (like me), you could…I don’t know…write a blog about ways to get focused again. I’m just saying, it might help. 🙂 Blog about it, journal about it…draw a picture…whatever gets you going.
6. Think happy thoughts, happy thoughts.
My final tip of the day is to keep your chin up. Don’t let life overwhelm you. Take it one step at a time, and remember that everything will be okay, even if it takes you another day or two to get your groove back. Keep an eye on your perspective, and if you find yourself feeling stressed, start counting your blessings. Remembering the good things we have and feeling grateful for them is one way to stay focused on the best parts of our lives, which invites more good.
So my challenge to you today is simple. Get back on track, whatever that means for you, and remember to keep smiling!
Happy New Year! Are you ready to start creating the life of your dreams? Let us know what you think and join in the discussion on our Facebook page!
Angela Atkinson is a certified trauma counselor and the author of more than 20 books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and related topics. A recognized expert on narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder who has studied and written extensively on narcissistic personality disorder and narcissistic abuse in toxic relationships since 2006, she has a popular narcissistic abuse recovery YouTube channel. Atkinson was inspired to begin her work as a result of having survived toxic relationships of her own.
Atkinson offers trauma-informed narcissistic abuse recovery coaching and has certifications in trauma counseling, life coaching, level 2 therapeutic model, CBT coaching, integrative wellness coaching, and NLP. She is a certified trauma support coach and certified family trauma professional. She also has a professional PTSD counseling certification. Her mission is to help those who have experienced the emotional and mental devastation that comes with narcissistic abuse in these incredibly toxic relationships to (re)discover their true selves, stop the gaslighting and manipulation, and move forward into their genuine desires – into a life that is exactly what they choose for themselves.
Along with her solution-focused life coaching experience, Atkinson’s previous career in journalism and research helps her to offer both accurate and understandable information for survivors of abuse in a simple-to-understand way that helps to increase awareness in the narcissistic abuse recovery community. Atkinson founded QueenBeeing.com Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support, the SPANily Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups and the Life Makeover Academy.
She offers individual and group coaching for victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse here at QueenBeeing.com and at NarcissisticAbuseRecovery.Online.