After a toxic relationship with a narcissist who may have been financially abusing you, one sure thing that can elevate your feelings of dread and powerlessness is financial problems.
Money Stress Related to Narcissistic Abuse
Since narcissists are so likely to use financial abuse to control their victims, many survivors feel stuck with their abusers as a result. And in general, worries about money can be some of the most toxic around because lack of financial security encroaches on nearly every aspect of your life and the lives of your loved ones. It’s an incredibly serious issue that can snowball into other problems if you let it.
Financial Abuse and Mental Health
A link between debt and mental health problems exists, and these struggles can often feel insurmountable. Read on to see how financial stress can harm your emotional outlook and to discover tips to get your finances in order so that you can move past the agony of money-related anxiety.
Financial Abuse and Physical Health
Money troubles are also known to contribute to physical health problems, interpersonal issues, and even addiction. You’ve probably dealt with headaches or digestive troubles when you’ve been really stressed out. Weight gain also occurs when long-term financial strain is a problem.
Financial Abuse and Divorce
When you’re dealing with financial abuse during a divorce, or ahead of one, you might feel helpless and stuck. You also likely know that finances are one of the biggest contributors to divorce – and this is true even for healthy couples, but especially in toxic relationships. These types of conflicts can carry over to your workplace, too. When you’re stressed and irritable, you might inadvertently be less than pleasant in the office, and dealing with conflict in a mature, stable manner is difficult.
How do you take control of your money after financial abuse?
It’s true that more money isn’t going to magically appear, and I don’t want to seem patronizing with my suggestions. However, I also know that taking action to make even the smallest change in your own situation can be empowering, often providing motivation to make additional changes. So let’s look at some ways you can get a handle on your finances in order to cut down on the anxiety related to them.
- You may think it’s a dirty word, but you really do need a budget. Even if you don’t currently have enough money to go around, planning for what is the most important place to focus your funds and considering some tangible ways to deal with the rest can give you a sense of control you’ve been missing.
- Try to focus on realistic and manageable changes you can make right now instead of getting lost in what the future may bring. Falling into that trap will only lead to more anxiety.
- Consider what costs you can eliminate or cut down on. Then look at what debts require your immediate attention. If you’re not sure which debts to tackle first, get help from an advisor or a knowledgeable friend if paying a professional is simply not possible.
- You can also do some research online. Making informed decisions regarding your money and creating a plan should go a long way toward alleviating your anxieties.
Self-Compassion During Your Financial Abuse Recovery
Listen, no one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes. Even though you’ve suffered financial abuse, you can recover. But it’s important to avoid beating yourself up in this process. I promise you, it won’t help – and I’ve never heard of anyone who managed to hate themselves better in any case. So, be gentle with yourself.
Whether you’ve suffered from financial abuse, or even if you have personally made mistakes in the past, you’re on your way to moving in a better direction, While your finances might not be in the shape you’d like them to be right now, you’re trying and taking proactive steps toward improving your situation. That means an awful lot.
FInancial Abuse Video
Here’s a video on financial abuse that may help you.
Additional Financial Abuse Recovery Resources
- Financial Abuse 101: Everything You Need to Know
- The PLAN to Safely Leave a Narcissist
- Women’s Law Financial Abuse Section
- SafeHorizons.org Info on Financial Abuse
- QueenBeeing’s Resource Center for Victims and Survivors of Narcissistic Abuse
- QB’s Life Reset Button