As the rest of the world woke up at four am to go Black Friday shopping, I decided to skip it. I have never enjoyed it–and in fact, it causes me a significant amount of anxiety. I am not a fan of big angry crowds, and the year I took my middle child along (who was a baby at the time), I was pushed by a shopper desperate for a deal and nearly dropped him.
So, after enjoying Thanksgiving with my extended family yesterday, I decided that today, I’d stay home and get caught up on my writing, and have a slow and easy day with my family. I’m letting my husband sleep in, and the kids and I are just having a lazy, cartoon watching morning.
You’re probably wondering what this lazy day of mine has to do with personal fulfillment. Well, let me break it down for you. (Yes, I was a child of the eighties, forgive the lame terminology!)
The bottom line is that while many of my extended family members wanted me to join them in the Black Friday frenzy, I made the choice to do what works better for me and my family. Sometimes, we have to learn to say no. It is so easy to fall into the trap of doing what others want you to do, and it can be hard to learn to stand up for yourself.
And, while this will surely make other people in your life happy, you are likely to end up tired, dissatisfied, and angry. Instead, take a moment to think about what YOU want.
Understand that I am not saying you should shirk responsibilities (especially those related to your kids or family), but when possible, do what makes YOU happy, even if that means sitting on your couch and doing nothing all day. Sometimes, we all need a break.
Don’t beat yourself up if you don’t measure up to someone else’s idea of success. Instead, decide what YOU believe is success. Ask yourself a question. If you could have/be/do anything in the world, what would it be? Really think about this. What was the first thing that came to your mind?
Your answer indicates at least one way that you personally define success. So, your challenge for the day is this: take at least ten minutes (longer if you can) today to do something that makes you happy. Anything at all. Don’t worry if it doesn’t seem to move you toward your goals–because ultimately, being happy is the most important thing. So what makes you happy? How do YOU define success?
Angela Atkinson is a Certified Life Coach and the author of more than 20 books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery and related topics. A recognized expert on narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder who has studied and written extensively on narcissistic relationships since 2006, Atkinson was inspired to begin her work as a result of having survived toxic relationships of her own.
Atkinson offers trauma-informed coaching and has certifications in life coaching, level 2 therapeutic model, CBT coaching, integrative wellness coaching, and NLP. She is a certified trauma support coach and certified family trauma professional. She also has a professional PTSD counseling certification. Her mission is to help those who have experienced the emotional and mental devastation that comes with narcissistic abuse in these incredibly toxic relationships to (re)discover their true selves, stop the gaslighting and manipulation and move forward into their genuine desires – into a life that is exactly what they choose for themselves.
Along with her solution-focused life coaching experience, Atkinson’s previous career in journalism and research helps her to offer both accurate and understandable information for survivors of abuse in a simple-to-understand way that helps to increase awareness in the narcissistic abuse recovery community. Atkinson founded QueenBeeing.com Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support, the SPANily Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups and the Life Makeover Academy. In her life coaching practice, Atkinson’s clients enjoy her personalized approach that allows and encourages them to become the best possible versions of themselves and to succeed in doing what they love most. She offers individual and group coaching for victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse at NarcissisticAbuseRecovery.Online and NarcissismSupportCoach.com.