Grey Rock: What It Is, How to Use It with a Narcissist and Grey Rock Examples and Psychology – This is how you use the grey rock technique with a narcissist. You’ll also see grey rock examples and tips for how to grey rock no contact and low contact situations. Communicating with a narcissist can be incredibly frustrating, especially when it matters that they comprehend what you’re saying. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve felt exasperated when trying to have simple conversations with narcs who have become agitated and who are actively gaslighting.
Rule number one when it comes to practicing the Gray Rock Method is to never tell the narcissist you’re doing so. If you do, they’ll definitely figure out a way to use it against you. Never ask questions of the narcissist and don’t offer any “committal” responses – just say things like “hmm” or “mhmm” – keep it casual. If possible, discuss only “safe” topics, such as the news, social media – fashion, cooking, etc. Nothing that would be personal – even if the narc begs you for it.
Try to be distracted during the conversation so that you don’t have to directly look the narcissist in the eye the whole time. Make it something simple like doodling in a notebook or checking your text messages, or something more complicated such as knitting a scarf or working on a document for work. If you focus a bit more on your activity, you won’t be as directly affected by the narcissist’s attempts to manipulate you during the conversation.
Most importantly during this practice, keep your head in the game and don’t allow the narcissist to get inside your head. Narcs are expert “guilt-trippers” and have no qualms about making you “feel bad” so that you’ll try to justify or defend your intentions – don’t fall into the trap.
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