Hot Relationships: The Beginner’s Guide to Negotiating With Your Spouse

Written by Angela Atkinson

“Let us never negotiate out of fear. But let us never fear to negotiate.” ~John F. Kennedy

disagreeYou’ve had an argument with your husband, and you’re just trying to figure out how to negotiate a satisfactory solution—one that’ll make both of you (reasonably) happy. So what do you do? How do you negotiate a solution when you can’t agree?

Negotiation isn’t always easy, and it’s even more difficult when one or both spouses feels passionately about his or her standpoint. Just the thought that your efforts could be met with rejection might be enough to discourage you. But don’t let that stop you–if you want to keep that relationship spicy, you need to come up with some basic rules for negotiation.

So where do you go from here? How do you get past those obstacles even if your first attempt fails? Getting past rejection of your ideas or desires may not happen overnight, but it’s certainly possible. In fact, what you really need is a guide to successful negotiation. Getting tips that keep you focused on your mission can ensure that you persevere–and these particular tips will work for both your marriage and your “outside” life.

How to Win at Negotiating With Your Husband

Believe in your point of view. By far, this is the most important element of successful negotiation. You absolutely need to believe in your point of view in order to sell it! This is the best way to show someone that you’re prepared with a great idea.

  • When you’re confident, it shows in your eyes and body language. People are quicker to pay attention when they realize you stand 100% behind your negotiation point.
  • If you’re not sold on your point of view, chances are the other person may fail to take you seriously.
  • Standing behind your case gives you the bargaining ability to win over your opponent.

Prepare your case. Now that you’ve bought into your point of view, it’s time to plan your approach. Decide how to express your case for the best possible results.

  • Is there any backup information you need to help support your case? Prepare it in advance.
  • Know your case inside out. If you’re selling something that you know somebody wants, be able to negotiate and tell them why they want it!
  • Try to have a “yes” for every possible “no” the other party may pose.

Embrace your human equality. At the end of the day, you’re just as good as anybody else. Avoid allowing your feelings of inadequacy to convince you to shy away from negotiation.

  • Remember that rejection doesn’t make you a failure. It simply gives you the opportunity to fine tune your approach. After all, experience is the best teacher!
  • Avoid contemplating that the other person may not want to negotiate with you. Think positively! You’re just as equal as the other person. Tell yourself that everybody wants to hear what you have to say.
  • You’re very deserving of the opportunity to negotiate your point. Seize it and make the most of it!

Consider the worst that could happen. Take a moment and really consider the possible outcomes. What’s the worst that could come out of your attempts at negotiation? Just how life-crushing do you think the rejection could be?

  • If you’re honest with yourself, you’ll realize that you’re probably making it seem worse than it is.
  • The worst thing you can hear is “no.” And so what if you do? What possible damage can that word do to you? Absolutely none!
  • Being  challenged or rejected doesn’t make you any less worthy. In fact, consider that your hubby is missing out on what you have to offer!

Rejection is a natural, ever-occurring part of life. You can expect to face challenges and rejection from time to time because not everybody sees eye to eye. But that’s what makes life so interesting!

Can you imagine how boring life would be if nothing you did was ever met with rejection or challenge? It would limit creativity and imagination. So do your part to keep mankind constantly evolving. Be bold and ready to take on whatever is thrown at you!


  • Angela Atkinson

    Angela Atkinson is a certified trauma counselor and the author of more than 20 books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and related topics. A recognized expert on narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder who has studied and written extensively on narcissistic personality disorder and narcissistic abuse in toxic relationships since 2006, she has a popular narcissistic abuse recovery YouTube channel. Atkinson was inspired to begin her work as a result of having survived toxic relationships of her own. Atkinson offers trauma-informed narcissistic abuse recovery coaching and has certifications in trauma counseling, life coaching, level 2 therapeutic model, CBT coaching, integrative wellness coaching, and NLP. She is a certified trauma support coach and certified family trauma professional. She also has a professional PTSD counseling certification. Her mission is to help those who have experienced the emotional and mental devastation that comes with narcissistic abuse in these incredibly toxic relationships to (re)discover their true selves, stop the gaslighting and manipulation, and move forward into their genuine desires – into a life that is exactly what they choose for themselves. Along with her solution-focused life coaching experience, Atkinson’s previous career in journalism and research helps her to offer both accurate and understandable information for survivors of abuse in a simple-to-understand way that helps to increase awareness in the narcissistic abuse recovery community. Atkinson founded Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support, the SPANily Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups and the Life Makeover Academy. She offers individual and group coaching for victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse here at and at NarcissisticAbuseRecovery.Online.

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