“The simple lack of her is more to me than others’ presence.” — Edward Thomas
I don’t know about you, but I’ve been in a few different situations where there was a long-distance relationship for a period of time. Sometimes, even married couples are required to live apart for some reason or another.
But whether you’re just starting out in a new relationship or you’ve been married 20 years and you have to be apart for awhile, there are some really simple ways you can keep your relationship HOT and strong while you can’t be together.
You start by just making it a priority.
The Hot Wife Guide to Long-Distance Relationships
You’re reading this article for the very same reason I’m writing it. We both know that long-distance relationships require special attention to make them last. You’re already one step ahead – you have recognized this fact and are taking steps to ensure that your relationship will stay strong through the distance and time apart.
So if you mean it, now’s the time to step up. You can keep your love alive (and kicking!) with these simple tips.
The Relationship Rulebook – Every relationship has a sort of “unspoken” set of rules (or in some cases, well-documented ones). In the case of a long-distance relationship, you’ve got to establish guidelines for how you’ll contact each other early in the relationship (or if you’re married, before it happens).
One of the most common concerns that I hear from couples in my coaching practice is working out a schedule.
Scheduling Your Love – It doesn’t sound really hot, scheduling your love, but since you’ll be on different schedules, you need to decide exactly how contact will work and how often you’ll be in touch.
Will you call or email each other every day? How about once a week?
It’s crucial that both of you are clear on how often you’ll speak with each other so neither of you have mistaken expectations. Expecting a contact and not getting it can lead to hurt feelings.
Method of Contact – The way you contact each other is also important. Will you rely on your phones or do online video chats?
Discuss concerns as they arise. Instead of waiting to talk about issues, try to discuss them right away to avoid resentment and anger. Long-distance relationships thrive on honesty and respect.
Share your lives. Discuss your goals. Distance in a relationship can change both people. Are your goals still the same?
Discussing your goals can help you establish a stronger relationship.
Do you plan to move (back) in together? Do you want to get married eventually?
Serious discussions about your future are essential, but you’ll also want to talk about fun plans. The next time you see each other, what do you plan to do? Consider making reservations for a spectacular day or night of dining, dancing, and entertainment.
Share your entertainment. Watch some of the same TV shows and read some of the same books. You’ll want to have some common interests. Common interests form deeper bonds in relationships. Couples who share similar ideas are more likely to stay together.
You can still enjoy multiple television shows and books, but reading and watching several of them together will give you more topics to discuss – and that’s going to be really important in a long-distance relationship.
Get creative. Talking to each other every day can get boring, so it’s important to come up with creative ways to communicate.
- Send him a sweet (or sexy!!) card or draw a picture.
- Create a short video of your favorite moments together and get other family members to participate.
- Sing a song and record it for your love – or pay someone on Fiverr to do it for you.
- Send things through snail mail or FedEx once in awhile – especially if you can do so as a surprise. The element of surprise can help add sparks to a relationship, regardless of the distance between you.
- Have Skype sex. Or phone sex. Even long-distance love can benefit from some kind of intimacy.
- Send sexy texts throughout the day. If you trust each other implicitly, maybe sneak in a few sexy selfies too.
Connect and be interactive often. Online communication is best for daily interactions. However, sending things through the post office on occasion can add a fun factor to the relationship. Cards, letters, photos, and other gifts are easy to mail.
Get face-to-face whenever possible – in person. One of the best ways to maintain a long-distance relationship is to see each other as often as possible.
Depending on the distance between you, visits can get expensive. Maybe it’d make more sense for you to meet in the middle and save travel costs by reducing the total distance.
Your daily lives have to connect. Be sure you fill each other in on your daily doings For example, it’s a good idea to discuss family and friends. Conversations about your family and friends can help you form stronger bonds. You’ll learn more about each other in the process.
Sometimes finding new topics to discuss every day can be tricky. You already talked about your work, pets, breakfast, lunch, and dinner. What else can you talk about and share? The lives of friends and family can provide ample material for conversations.
Keep your head in the game! If you really love this person, you will do whatever’s necessary to keep your long-distance relationship both hot and cheat-proof.
No matter what ANYONE tells you, with the right precautions in place and your commitment to it, you can enjoy a long-distance relationship and make it last. These relationships just need special care and attention to thrive – and with the tips I just shared with you, you’ll be golden.
Are you in a long-distance relationship, or have you been in the past? How do or did you handle staying connected across the miles? Share your thoughts below or hit me up on Facebook.
Angela Atkinson is a Certified Life Coach and the author of more than 20 books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery and related topics. A recognized expert on narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder who has studied and written extensively on narcissistic relationships since 2006, Atkinson was inspired to begin her work as a result of having survived toxic relationships of her own.
Atkinson offers trauma-informed coaching and has certifications in life coaching, level 2 therapeutic model, CBT coaching, integrative wellness coaching, and NLP. She is a certified trauma support coach and certified family trauma professional. She also has a professional PTSD counseling certification. Her mission is to help those who have experienced the emotional and mental devastation that comes with narcissistic abuse in these incredibly toxic relationships to (re)discover their true selves, stop the gaslighting and manipulation and move forward into their genuine desires – into a life that is exactly what they choose for themselves.
Along with her solution-focused life coaching experience, Atkinson’s previous career in journalism and research helps her to offer both accurate and understandable information for survivors of abuse in a simple-to-understand way that helps to increase awareness in the narcissistic abuse recovery community. Atkinson founded QueenBeeing.com Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support, the SPANily Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups and the Life Makeover Academy. In her life coaching practice, Atkinson’s clients enjoy her personalized approach that allows and encourages them to become the best possible versions of themselves and to succeed in doing what they love most. She offers individual and group coaching for victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse at NarcissisticAbuseRecovery.Online and NarcissismSupportCoach.com.