This post might also be entitled “how to make a whole room full of people fall in love with you” or “how to be incredibly irresistible to everyone you meet.”
We’ve all seen her. You know the one–the woman who can walk into any room and instantly have all eyes on her.
She doesn’t miss a beat and pretends not to notice the gazes of both approval and thinly veiled jealousy as she gracefully glides in and inserts herself into the most attractive group in the room, taking center stage as naturally as the rest of us breathe.
She makes it look effortless, being this amazing creature that captures the attention of everyone within a 50-foot radius–and you might wonder exactly how she does it.
Here’s the thing–she’s no different than you or me. In fact, if you look at her really closely, she is probably no more physically attractive either. The reason she seems so much brighter and sparklier than everyone else in the room actually has nothing to do with her perfectly styled look, hair or even the fact that her purple lipstick somehow makes her eyes seem much brighter blue.
Sometimes, she shows up in jeans and a pseudo-broken-in t-shirt, no makeup and her hair piled on top of her head–and still look completely freaking amazing. That bitch! No, no, I kid.
Then there are the times she appears as a plus-sized woman who somehow gets the attention of every hot guy who walks in her path–or as a 60-something southern girl who blows you away with her charm.
The point is that there are certain women who just happen to be the center of attention at every party. The bottom line is this: we all want to know how she does it, but not many of us are willing to walk up to her and ask her. But lucky for you, you’ve got ME, and I happen to be really into the whole sharing information thing.
Now to the meat of this post! I hope you’re sitting down–the secrets are about to spill.
How to Be the Center of Attention at Every Party
Get the Look
Wear the right outfit. The right outfit will vary from woman to woman and party to party, but generally, consider the following tips when choosing your look.
- The kind of occasion. If it’s a formal event or a back-yard BBQ, there is a certain type of attire that is most likely appropriate. Unless you’re into negative attention, try to keep your outfit reasonably appropriate to the occasion.
- Coordination of color. If you’re going to be in a darkened room, then you’ll want to wear a brighter color if you hope to be seen, provided the occasion allows it. If you’re going to be in a well-lit room, you might still consider brighter color(s), but you might add patterns or other small details to the look. And as always, be sure the colors you choose are the ones that make you look the best.
- The hotness factor. Look, sometimes it’s not okay to walk around with your boobs hanging out. And sometimes, the whole “more is less” thing is legit. The fact is that you can be SUPER HOT without being a SUPER HO. No kidding. So again, appropriately hot.
- Your personal brand of hot. As important as being appropriate for any occasion is the fact that you need to do what works best for you personally. That is, find the right look for your body, your personality and your overall preferred image. This will obviously vary from person to person based on individual factors, and there’s really no wrong brand of hot–it’s all about what makes you feel confident, beautiful and comfortable. Don’t be afraid to try on several outfits and take photos to see which looks the best.
Get the Attention
Here’s where it gets interesting. The thing is that a confident woman will always grab the attention of a less confident one, eventually, regardless of which of the two is more physically attractive by societal standards. Like the southern belle I recently met proves, a woman’s personality is at least 80 percent of her hotness.
Ask any guy what’s the sexiest quality about a woman that you can’t see in a photo, and he’ll tell you it’s her ability to be self-confident, to be herself or to be “real” with him. So how do you get the attention of a whole roomful of people? Try these tips.
Work the Room
When you enter a room, be sure to make your way around the room and greet everyone you see (or at least those you know) before settling into any particular crowd. That’ll give you the lay of the land and give you an idea of where you want to spend the most time—or you might choose to keep floating all evening. There’s nothing wrong with mingling–or even bringing together groups of people who didn’t know each other before!
You’re Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile
You probably don’t realize how significantly a smile can change your world, but try something for me. Tomorrow, or the next time you’re out in public, make an effort to meet the eyes and smile at everyone you pass. If that’s too much for you, then try smiling at 10 people throughout the day. You’ll be pleasantly surprised when you discover the amazing effect it has on you (and those around you!).
Be Quick With a Joke and to Light Up a Smoke
You don’t really have to light anyone’s cigarette, but the idea is that you show up at every party with a few key tricks up your sleeve.
- A couple of (appropriately) funny stories and/or jokes—if you come prepared to be funny, you’ll find that people just flock to you. This may seem a bit “calculated,” but the truth is that most attention-grabbing women are way more calculated than they appear.
- A catchphrase or schtick—this one is optional, but tends to make people remember you. Come up with a cute little phrase, expression or idea that you can share throughout the evening to sort of “brand” yourself,. You’ll be unforgettable.
Make a Grand Entrance
Maybe this seems old-fashioned, but show up a few minutes after everyone else and don’t enter quietly (when it’s appropriate!). When you employ the outfit and confidence tips outlined above, the grand entrance is easy to accomplish.
Listen Like Your Life Depends On It
Here’s the biggest secret to being absolutely irresistable: nearly ALL people, male and female love someone who is genuinely interested in THEM—so the best way to get attention is to be genuinely interested in the people you’re partying with! Find out what makes them tick, what makes them smile—anything they’re willing to share, and hang on every word. When you speak to them again, use the material they shared to spark up a new conversation.
What are your best tips for how to be the center of attention at every party? Share them in the comments section, below!
Angela Atkinson is a Certified Life Coach and the author of more than 20 books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery and related topics. A recognized expert on narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder who has studied and written extensively on narcissistic relationships since 2006, Atkinson was inspired to begin her work as a result of having survived toxic relationships of her own.
Atkinson offers trauma-informed coaching and has certifications in life coaching, level 2 therapeutic model, CBT coaching, integrative wellness coaching, and NLP. She is a certified trauma support coach and certified family trauma professional. She also has a professional PTSD counseling certification. Her mission is to help those who have experienced the emotional and mental devastation that comes with narcissistic abuse in these incredibly toxic relationships to (re)discover their true selves, stop the gaslighting and manipulation and move forward into their genuine desires – into a life that is exactly what they choose for themselves.
Along with her solution-focused life coaching experience, Atkinson’s previous career in journalism and research helps her to offer both accurate and understandable information for survivors of abuse in a simple-to-understand way that helps to increase awareness in the narcissistic abuse recovery community. Atkinson founded QueenBeeing.com Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support, the SPANily Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups and the Life Makeover Academy. In her life coaching practice, Atkinson’s clients enjoy her personalized approach that allows and encourages them to become the best possible versions of themselves and to succeed in doing what they love most. She offers individual and group coaching for victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse at NarcissisticAbuseRecovery.Online and NarcissismSupportCoach.com.