“The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mode but the true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives the passion that she shows. The beauty of a woman grows with the passing years.” ~Audrey Hepburn
Have you ever found yourself feeling “less than” or underestimated by someone you love? Maybe you were thrown under the bus or treated like you were an employee rather than a partner. Maybe this sort of thing happens a little too often, and maybe it’s beginning to take a toll on your self esteem, especially if your tormentor is your spouse—and especially if you truly love and respect him.
While no one wants to believe negative things about herself, sometimes it’s just easier to believe that you’re not worthy…but when you let go of the feeling that you deserve to have a good, healthy relationship that benefits both of you, or the idea that you’re worth loving, you let go of a huge part of yourself.
The Not-So-Hot Effect of Putting Your Personal Development on Hold for Your Kids
This happens to a lot of moms, especially those who put their entire lives on hold to raise their kids. See, while you’re busy doing the work of parenting, you’re not developing your Self.
In fact there are studies that show that teen moms are often stunted in their emotional growth to the point that some never mature emotionally beyond the age they were when they gave birth. Others manage but it takes much longer. And still some others don’t struggle at all.
The point is that awareness is crucial to creating positive change in your life. And in the case of being a hot wife, having your own interests and projects outside of your kids and hubby will make you just so much hotter!
How to Be a Hot Wife Who Also Happens to Be a Mom: Find, Nurture and Develop Your Passions
As you already know, a hot wife always has her own interests and passions. But when hot wives become hot moms, they sometimes let their personal needs and wants sit by the wayside so long they forget what they are–and the effect isn’t pretty.
To discover your passion, if you haven’t already, you need to know your purpose.
How to Discover the Purpose of Your Life
If you’re like a lot of moms, you might not have figured out what you’re supposed to do with your life, outside of raising your kids. What is your personal life purpose?
What is a life purpose anyway?
For our uses, we’re going to define it as something that you love to do that also has a great impact on the world. It’s that sweet spot where you’re having a great time and doing something wonderful for as many people as possible.
Most of us leave our lives up to chance. We slide into a profession that we don’t hate and stay there or in a similar situation until we’re ready to retire. Living your purpose usually requires taking action with the intention of finding it.
There are several ways you can attempt to discover the purpose of your life:
- Describe your ideal day. Project yourself several years into the future and imagine that your life is essentially perfect. What would your life look like? Are you working? What type of work are you doing? What do you do all day? Who is in your life?
- Now that you know what the end looks like, what can you do today to take the first step in that direction?
- Try austerity. Go camping in a remote place. Leave the food at home, but bring plenty of water. Limit your sleep and just sit with yourself. When you’re miserable, bored, lonely, and tired, sometimes the answers become obvious.
- Volunteer. Find an organization in your community that interests you. Doing something worthwhile can be a good way to discover your purpose. Even if you come up short, at least you’ll have done something important.
- Assume you can do the impossible. When anything is possible, what would you do? Take action to bring your dreams to life.
- Write. Perhaps the most effective way to discover your life’s purpose is to spend an hour writing. At the top of your paper write, “My life’s purpose.” Now spend the next 60 minutes writing whatever pops into your mind.
- When you find something that stirs strong positive feelings within you, you’re probably on the right track.
- Investigate a new hobby. We all have at least one activity we’ve been putting off until a more convenient time. Doing something new exposes you to new ideas and thoughts. Now is the time to jump in and get started. You might be surprised what you discover.
- Do something that terrifies you. Skydiving? Public speaking? You might find your life’s purpose during the process of conquering this fear.
- This can be challenging and it might take some time, but get started today.
- Spend a day being totally inspired. From the time you wake up until the time you go to bed, attempt to spend every moment inspired. The right books, music, and movies can help you maintain an inspired mental state.
- You’ll believe you can do anything. What would you do?
Ask yourself what you would do if you had $10 million. How would you spend your time? What would your life look like? Can you figure out a way to make a living doing one of the activities you would be willing to do for free if you had the time?
Keep trying the above tips until you’ve found something that really excites you. When you find your purpose, there will be no doubt. Avoid spending all of your life thinking and planning. Get busy living.
Finding your life’s purpose will make life exciting and meaningful!
So how about you, have you discovered your passion and purpose yet? Share your thoughts, experiences and ideas in the comments section, below!
Angela Atkinson is a Certified Life Coach and the author of more than 20 books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery and related topics. A recognized expert on narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder who has studied and written extensively on narcissistic relationships since 2006, Atkinson was inspired to begin her work as a result of having survived toxic relationships of her own.
Atkinson offers trauma-informed coaching and has certifications in life coaching, level 2 therapeutic model, CBT coaching, integrative wellness coaching, and NLP. She is a certified trauma support coach and certified family trauma professional. She also has a professional PTSD counseling certification. Her mission is to help those who have experienced the emotional and mental devastation that comes with narcissistic abuse in these incredibly toxic relationships to (re)discover their true selves, stop the gaslighting and manipulation and move forward into their genuine desires – into a life that is exactly what they choose for themselves.
Along with her solution-focused life coaching experience, Atkinson’s previous career in journalism and research helps her to offer both accurate and understandable information for survivors of abuse in a simple-to-understand way that helps to increase awareness in the narcissistic abuse recovery community. Atkinson founded QueenBeeing.com Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support, the SPANily Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups and the Life Makeover Academy. In her life coaching practice, Atkinson’s clients enjoy her personalized approach that allows and encourages them to become the best possible versions of themselves and to succeed in doing what they love most. She offers individual and group coaching for victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse at NarcissisticAbuseRecovery.Online and NarcissismSupportCoach.com.