1. Make sure you tell someone you’re going no contact, and that you touch base with them each day. Accountability is intensely helpful – consider this person sort of your “no contact” buddy. If you don’t have a friend or family member you can trust, join an online support group like SPAN and report your success daily! Join SPAN at QueenBeeing.com/SPAN
2. Make a list of all the reasons you’re going no contact, and put it somewhere you can easily access it for those tough moments. Pull it out anytime you feel weak and remind yourself why you’re doing this! Consider having a copy of it on your phone, too – just in case you need it when you’re not at home.
3. Go to QueenBeeing.com/60days and download your free no-contact calendar. The calendar is filled with activities to keep you on track during the early days of no-contact.
4. Take your time and allow your emotions to flow – but not forever. I suggest setting an end-date on your mourning. Choose any day you like, but never longer than 30 days. I suggest anywhere from a weekend to a month, depending on the length and nature of the relationship. When the “mourning phase” is done, decide that it’s time to start your life over again – and really do it!
5. Start focusing on yourself. Consider getting a new look, and start focusing on your passion. Not sure what that is, exactly? Visit QueenBeeing.com/passion and download your free Passion Finder.
6. Get out of the house! When you’re ready, get out and do something different. Check out meetup.com and find a group that shares an interest you have – and be social. It’ll feel weird at first, but even casual contact with the outside world can be so healthy for you. If you need it, there’s an online course at Life Makeover Academy you can take to revamp your social life. Take the course, right here. Or, try this 3-pack of courses to help you get through it – this one includes a 30-day empowerment bootcamp that you can do in the comfort of your home.
7. Remember that going no contact opens your life for new and better relationships, once you’ve healed. None of us are getting any younger – and don’t you deserve to be happy? Keep your end goals in mind. Even though it feels easier sometimes to go back to what you know, in the long run, you will be glad you stayed no contact. Trust me.
Angela Atkinson is a Certified Life Coach and the author of more than 20 books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery and related topics. A recognized expert on narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder who has studied and written extensively on narcissistic relationships since 2006, Atkinson was inspired to begin her work as a result of having survived toxic relationships of her own.
Atkinson offers trauma-informed coaching and has certifications in life coaching, level 2 therapeutic model, CBT coaching, integrative wellness coaching, and NLP. She is a certified trauma support coach and certified family trauma professional. She also has a professional PTSD counseling certification. Her mission is to help those who have experienced the emotional and mental devastation that comes with narcissistic abuse in these incredibly toxic relationships to (re)discover their true selves, stop the gaslighting and manipulation and move forward into their genuine desires – into a life that is exactly what they choose for themselves.
Along with her solution-focused life coaching experience, Atkinson’s previous career in journalism and research helps her to offer both accurate and understandable information for survivors of abuse in a simple-to-understand way that helps to increase awareness in the narcissistic abuse recovery community. Atkinson founded QueenBeeing.com Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support, the SPANily Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups and the Life Makeover Academy. In her life coaching practice, Atkinson’s clients enjoy her personalized approach that allows and encourages them to become the best possible versions of themselves and to succeed in doing what they love most. She offers individual and group coaching for victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse at NarcissisticAbuseRecovery.Online and NarcissismSupportCoach.com.