“The reason we’re successful, darling? My overall charisma, of course.” ~Freddie Mercury
For some people, like the late, great, crazy-talented-genius Freddie Mercury, being charismatic is a gift.
They’re just born that way. We all know someone that everyone just seems to like – and maybe we wonder how they do that.
What if you aren’t naturally charismatic? Is it possible to become irresistible?
Why do some people just naturally get all the attention while others struggle to even get a supporting role in the movie of their own lives? It’s enough to make you want to scream.
But hey, don’t beat yourself up, if you can relate. You’re not weird or different – you just have your own talents and strengths.
And, I don’t know, the fact that you’re here, reading this article right now? Yeah, that pretty much tells me that one of your strengths is the ability to embrace and create change in your own life, so you’re on the right path. Nice work, friend!
Learn the secrets of irresistible people and use them to your own benefit.
If you’re not naturally one of those people, it might feel easy to just feel a little bit of jealousy or even to indulge in a little haterade. But don’t do that to yourself – there is a much better way to look at this whole thing.
See, the reason you might sometimes feel kind of murder-y toward people who are especially irresistible is that they are obviously getting the attention that you want on some level.
Sure they are – and that’s for a very simple reason. They’re not prettier or smarter or even better in any way, necessarily. It’s all about one simple thing.
Being charismatic can make life easier and more enjoyable.
Yep. It’s that simple. Life is better when you’re a charmer, an irresistible force of wonderful that no one can help but love.
Why is that, anyway?
Think of it this way. Imagine you’re standing outside a door, prepared to walk into a roomful of people. When you enter, you see that the room is filled with everyone you love, and the room bursts into applause as everyone lines up to hug you and catch up.
It feels wonderful when people are happy to see you, right? Of course it does! And, let’s not forget how much easier it is to navigate life when you’ve got plenty of love and support.
Your social life is better and others are more willing to be helpful – and all you have to do is learn to be sort of irresistible, also known as charismatic – you learn become instantly likeable.
Don’t worry if you’re not already there (or even close). I’ve got you covered – here’s where you can start, friend.
9 Habits of Highly Irresistible People
I’ve got some awesome news for you – you don’t have to be born charismatic. It’s actually an easy skill to develop, and one of the best ways I’ve found to create seriously positive changes in my life is to study what successful people (who have already made that change) are doing to get (and stay) where they are.
As a life coach and a ever-studying researcher of human nature, I can tell you that analyzing and emulating the basics of those changes is a super-effective way to create your own sort of blueprint plan to make the changes happen.
Regarding people who are considered “irresistible” or “charming” or even flat-out charismatic by their friends and family members, it turns out they all have a few things in common (in addition to a slightly less stressful life than those less “irresistible” people, obvs.).
So, I figured I’d save you a little time and put this together – here’s my list of the 9 habits of highly charismatic people. What would you add to it? Tell me in the comments section, below, or join us on Facebook to continue the discussion.
“See the things you want as already yours. Think of them as yours, as belonging to you, as already in your possession.”
These characteristics are commonly found in highly charismatic people with the most magnetic personalities:
Be empathetic. The ability to understand another’s feelings and point of view is invaluable. It’s frustrating when others fail to understand what we’re thinking and feeling. Be the person that makes the time and effort to get to the heart of the matter.
Be interesting. Only a weather buff wants to talk about the weather! People like to be fascinated and entertained. Boring others doesn’t result in getting more party invitations. The easiest way to have interesting conversations is to have an interesting life. Are you bored a lot of the time? If so, you’re probably boring others, too. Make your life a grand adventure!
Focus on the positive. Who doesn’t like positive, happy people? Being negative and pessimistic becomes tiresome. The people around you are affected by your words, actions, and moods. Make others feel good and they’ll associate those feelings with you.
Be present. A sure way to make someone feel insignificant is to fail to give them your full attention. Put away your phone and keep your eyes on the other person. Listen to what is being said. Anything else is rude and not appreciated.
Keep your word. If others don’t trust you, it makes it difficult for them to like you. Being honest and reliable creates the kind of trust necessary to build and sustain meaningful relationships. Do what you say you’re going to do.
Unless asked, keep your opinions to yourself. When people share their challenges, they already know what to do 90% of the time. They’re just looking for someone to listen and be sympathetic. Unsolicited advice is rarely welcome and can create feelings of resentment. Give advice only when requested.
Remember names. We all feel a little bit of pride when others remember and use our names. It’s also a little insulting when they don’t, even though names are among the most challenging items to remember. People tend to remember in a visual format. It’s not easy to visualize a name.
- Do whatever is necessary to remember names and then use them in conversation. Those around you will appreciate it.
Make others feel good about themselves. Many people assume that being more charismatic is the result of being more impressive to others. However, it’s actually about making people feel more impressed with themselves.
- If you can make someone feel better about their life and who they are, you’ll have a friend for life.
Build your confidence. Everyone likes to be around someone who’s confident. People that are nervous and uncomfortable tend to make others uncomfortable, too. Strive to find a place between arrogance and self-doubt. Do everything possible to feel good about yourself.
- Live a life that fills you with pride. Wear clothes that make you feel great. Be proud of your accomplishments and what you have to offer the world.
If you desire to be more irresistible, you can develop the qualities that draw others to you. If you’re enjoyable and interesting to be around, you’ve already won half the battle. The other half consists of making others feel good about themselves.
Even the most disagreeable people can learn to be very charismatic.
One of the best ways to make life more enjoyable, to say the very least, is to be well-liked by others. What do you think?
Psst! Like what you read? Check out my author page on Amazon.com – I’ve got several books that will help you create the life you really want published, and I’m working on the next one now. PLUS, since I love to pay it forward, I’m almost always giving away at least one of my books for free or almost free – learn how you can get notified of my book giveaways right here.
Angela Atkinson is a certified trauma counselor and the author of more than 20 books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and related topics. A recognized expert on narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder who has studied and written extensively on narcissistic personality disorder and narcissistic abuse in toxic relationships since 2006, she has a popular narcissistic abuse recovery YouTube channel. Atkinson was inspired to begin her work as a result of having survived toxic relationships of her own.
Atkinson offers trauma-informed narcissistic abuse recovery coaching and has certifications in trauma counseling, life coaching, level 2 therapeutic model, CBT coaching, integrative wellness coaching, and NLP. She is a certified trauma support coach and certified family trauma professional. She also has a professional PTSD counseling certification. Her mission is to help those who have experienced the emotional and mental devastation that comes with narcissistic abuse in these incredibly toxic relationships to (re)discover their true selves, stop the gaslighting and manipulation, and move forward into their genuine desires – into a life that is exactly what they choose for themselves.
Along with her solution-focused life coaching experience, Atkinson’s previous career in journalism and research helps her to offer both accurate and understandable information for survivors of abuse in a simple-to-understand way that helps to increase awareness in the narcissistic abuse recovery community. Atkinson founded QueenBeeing.com Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support, the SPANily Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups and the Life Makeover Academy.
She offers individual and group coaching for victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse here at QueenBeeing.com and at NarcissisticAbuseRecovery.Online.