You may have developed a bit of a negative attitude after having dealt with a toxic relationship, and that’s totally understandable. I’ve got good news for you, and I’ve got bad news.
The bad news is that your attitude impacts everything in your life – from here on out, anyway. Your happiness, satisfaction, career, and relationships are all impacted by your attitude.
But hey – that’s also the good news because you have complete control over your attitude. Honestly, you do. Especially once you’ve left the toxic relationship.
Obviously, your toxic relationship (and even healing from one) can make maintaining a positive mental attitude even more challenging. But, if you want to turn your life around, having a good attitude is the first step to making everything else possible. A positive mental attitude is crucial to success and happiness!
I know it feels difficult for you right now, but I’ve got your back. Try these strategies to maintain a positive attitude, even when it feels impossible.
1. Plan an exciting future. If you have a future that excites you, it’s easy to feel positive about life. Even if things are challenging today, you have an exciting life to look forward to. Think about the kind of life you’d like to live. Plan your future and ensure that it’s appealing to you. It should be motivating enough to put a smile on your face. After all, you’re not used to having the freedom of choice after having spent so long connected to a narcissist – take your power and run with it, baby!
2. Be successful each day. Set yourself up to be successful each day. You can do this by making a short to-do list that you know you can complete. Give yourself the experience of being successful each day. You can start with something as simple as making your bed and flossing your teeth before work. I like to use a bullet journal to help me stay on track.
3. Keep your thoughts positive. Positive thoughts lead to a positive attitude. Your brain is always thinking something, and you have control over your thoughts if you choose to exercise that control. Pay attention to what you’re thinking and keep your mind occupied with thoughts that serve you. I like to call this intentional vibration management.
4. Remember your triumphs. If you’re feeling down or hopeless, take a few minutes to remember all the amazing things you’ve accomplished. It’s easy to forget all the things you’ve already mastered and succeeded at, especially when times are tough.
5. Remind yourself that you’re making progress. Even if you’re struggling in your narcissistic abuse recovery, you’re NORMAL, and you’re still making progress. It might be challenging to see, or it might be less progress than you like. However, it’s still progress and a good reason to have a positive attitude.
6. Have something fun to look forward to. What do you have to look forward to in the next month? It could be a movie with a friend or a weekend getaway. Maybe you’re finally going to buy that shirt you’ve had your eye on. Get your groove on, already!
7. Eliminate the negative from your life. The negative things in your life can drag you down. Removing as many of these negative things from your life as possible can make positivity a lot easier to find and maintain. You know exactly what (and WHO) we’re talking about here, right?
8. Surround yourself with people that support you. Rather than spending time with toxic people who seem to suck all the air out of a room, try surrounding yourself with those that lift you up. Life is much easier and more enjoyable with positive people in your corner. Make a list of the people in your life and give them a rating. Determine which of them help you and which are harmful. Start making a few adjustments.
9. Forgive yourself. Okay, you’ve made a few mistakes, picked a toxic partner, maybe, or put up with a toxic friend or family member for too long. And maybe you even squandered a few opportunities. Who hasn’t? It’s time to forgive yourself for your missteps and enjoy your life again. What do you gain by holding a grudge against yourself?
10. Shift your focus. I mean, focus on what you CAN control and not what you can not. This is a HUGE deal. Why waste your energy on anything that you cannot change or affect in any way? It sounds much simpler than it actually is, but it truly works to make your life better (and to keep your thoughts more positive!).
11. Try my daily gratitude practice. Every day, think of 10 things you’re grateful for and 3 things you love about yourself. Talk about raising your vibration! You will be shocked at how effective this can be!
Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Journaling Prompt
Ask yourself the following questions and record the answers in your journal.
- Do you have a positive attitude in general?
- Are you optimistic or pessimistic? How do you think that influences your life?
- How has being in a relationship with a toxic person changed your ability to stay positive?
- What do you need to do in order to release the negative energy from your life.
Be honest with yourself, but also compassionate. After you write in your journal, set it aside for the night. Then, take a few minutes to review what you wrote tomorrow. What insights can you gain? What changes do you need to make? You might be surprised at how very effective this exercise can be.
Remember this: Having a positive mental attitude leads to much faster recovery from narcissistic abuse. You’ll also be happier and be more attractive to others if you choose to be. Try to see the bright side of things and expect the best – just maintain your awareness and your boundaries at the same time. Life is more challenging when you have a negative attitude.
Helpful Resources for Shifting Your Perception and Taking Back Your Life
- Power Journaling for Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Survivors
- Self-Talk Makeover (Video Playlist)
- 6 Ways to Keep a Positive Attitude Around Negative People