When you get out of a relationship with a narcissist, often you look around and realize you don’t have many friends left – if any. That’s because narcissists isolate us and take away our friends and often even family members. But the fact is that we all need someone in the world who’s on our side. We all need some friends, a tribe, a social circle to bring the world down to a manageable size.
With so much of our lives spent on digital gadgets and the internet, a good social circle is much more challenging to create. It’s not as easy to connect with people in the real world, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t possible!
Try these techniques to build a social circle that adds to your life:
1. Define what a successful social circle looks like for you. It’s challenging to be successful if you don’t know what success looks like to you. What do you want from your social circle? Do you want:
- Friends for casual fun?
- A social circle of business contacts?
- A group of people for dating purposes?
- Someone to ride motorcycles with?
- Traveling partners?
- A group of like-minded men or women for meaningful discussion?
2. Find like-minded people. While you might not want to hang out with a group of people exactly like you, your social circle will likely consist largely of people that are a lot like you. Think about the things you like to do and find others with similar interests.
3. Work on building your social circle a little each day. This isn’t the kind of thing you should work on all day on Saturday and ignore the rest of the week. A little bit of effort each day will really pay off over time.
4. Use online resources. What can’t you find online these days? Get online and find local clubs and other organizations you could join to find people that interest you. There are plenty of social meetups that can be found online for your local area.
5. Learn something. Invest in yourself by learning something new – just ensure that you leave the house to do it. Whether you want to learn to weld or to meditate, there’s a place you can do that. And you’re bound to find others with similar interests that you can connect with.
6. Work on your social skills. It’s not easy to add people to your life if you’re uncomfortable around others. Social skills can be developed just like any other skill. Practice makes perfect, so brush up on your skills and get out there. You can make some new friends while you’re practicing.
7. Stay in touch. The more casual the relationship, the more likely it is to fade away. Staying in touch doesn’t have to be challenging or time-consuming. A quick text, email, or phone call can be sufficient to maintain many relationships. Better yet, get out of the house and spend time with your tribe.
8. Be choosy. Just because someone is willing to spend time with you doesn’t mean you should agree. Just because someone has been in your social circle doesn’t mean you should allow them to remain. From time to time, evaluate those you spend time with and make a decision whether they should stay or go.
Do you need to add to your social circle? There are plenty of ways to get started. Define the group of people that interest you and get out there and find them. While it can be challenging today to connect with people in real life, there are many others that want to get out of the house, too. Build a social circle that adds significantly to your life.
Need help? Check out Revive Your Social Circle at Life Makeover Academy!