Okay, before you get all “you’re so late on this post, why did you even bother?”, give me a second to explain.
Yes, I’m writing about the whole “Beyonce‘s thigh gap” issue. Yes, it’s like totally old news. But you know how sometimes, when you hear something and it pisses you off, but you can’t tell anyone around you because they’d either be bored or otherwise not understand what you mean (or maybe, they’re just not the right audience for your message)? And you know how you write it down (or type it down in a passionate fury on Evernote on your phone in the middle of the night, or whatever)?
And then, you know, sometimes you get busy, and you forget about it. But then later, you find it, and there it is, begging you to publish it because clearly, someone needs to read it today?
Wait, is that just me? Oh…but anyway.
I ranted to my ever-loving Evernote app about how much people don’t recognize how their criticisms of women like Bey are so very significant in the lives of and so damaging to the spirits of young women (and not-so-young women, let’s be honest).
If you’re not feeling like reading a well-meaning, passionately overzealous rant today, you’ve totally got my permission to jump off here. Check out one of these articles instead, maybe. No worries, I promise.
Alright, for the rest of you. Here’s what goes on inside my head when I’m feeling all self-righteous about haterism. Ha. 🙂
Dear mean girls and boys,
Don’t you know when you try to make other people feel ugly, you’re just adding more ugly to your own energy space? Wanna feel really sexy? Try EMPOWERING each other for once.
Please stop talking a out Beyoncé ‘s damn thighs.
First of all, the woman is known for her delicious curves, among her many other assets. And I don’t believe she is under any pressure to have a thigh gap.
Secondly, while I appreciate Beyoncé and her efforts toward being the beautiful role model she is, you’re kind of screwing it up for all of us.
That’s because with your negative (jealous? just asking) ways, you are actively undoing the good the powerhouse has done (and continues to do) for women and girls by starting this stupid rumor.
See, while Mrs. Carter wants women to accept their bodies and clearly embraces the idea of strong, empowered women, y’all are over there trying to make us all believe that SHE believes that she needs a thigh gap. STOP THAT, please.
Seriously. Unless you’re blind and deaf, you cannot deny that the woman is gorgeous, regardless of whether or not her thighs touch. She knows it. Jay-Z knows it. We all know it. And you do too.
I guarantee you that she’s not sitting around worrying about this silly issue, and I wish you wouldn’t either.
If you won’t hear my plea on behalf of the adult women in your life, then think of the babies, the little girls…the young teens.
Think of all of the struggles they have today already with body acceptance issues, eating disorders…crippling self-esteem deficiencies.
What, that doesn’t get you right in the ticker? Then try something else.
Think about yourself, maybe, and your own issues. Maybe you could, this very moment, be blocking some kind of awesome success because you’re too worried about who’s photoshopping which body parts (and oh, just in case anyone was wondering, yes I do use awesome filters on my Facebook profile pics, and I’m totally okay with it!).
Don’t you want to try and change the things that aren’t working in your life? Why not just give this whole positive energy deal a shot. It certainly can’t hurt a thing; by the very nature of its existence it is toward what is good in the world, right?
What do you think? Is it sensible to put these negative connotations on one of the “good ones,” or on anyone at all? Doesn’t doing so take away from the potential benefit that Beyoncé or any other celebrity in the spotlight could offer those girls when it comes to self-acceptance and empowerment?
Let it go. Please.
You wanna make a stir in the world? Want to change the face of the tabloid news? Try catching people doing good things. You know. Unsuspecting do-gooders. And then how about giving them a split of the commission you earn?
Pay it forward. Try making the world a better place. You won’t regret it. Remember: everything you focus on, whatever energy you send out into the world comes back to you. So try putting some good out there. You will be amazed at what could happen.
As my friend Steve used to say, peace, love and doves, y’all.
Angela Atkinson is a Certified Life Coach and the author of more than 20 books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery and related topics. A recognized expert on narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder who has studied and written extensively on narcissistic relationships since 2006, Atkinson was inspired to begin her work as a result of having survived toxic relationships of her own.
Atkinson offers trauma-informed coaching and has certifications in life coaching, level 2 therapeutic model, CBT coaching, integrative wellness coaching, and NLP. She is a certified trauma support coach and certified family trauma professional. She also has a professional PTSD counseling certification. Her mission is to help those who have experienced the emotional and mental devastation that comes with narcissistic abuse in these incredibly toxic relationships to (re)discover their true selves, stop the gaslighting and manipulation and move forward into their genuine desires – into a life that is exactly what they choose for themselves.
Along with her solution-focused life coaching experience, Atkinson’s previous career in journalism and research helps her to offer both accurate and understandable information for survivors of abuse in a simple-to-understand way that helps to increase awareness in the narcissistic abuse recovery community. Atkinson founded QueenBeeing.com Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support, the SPANily Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups and the Life Makeover Academy. In her life coaching practice, Atkinson’s clients enjoy her personalized approach that allows and encourages them to become the best possible versions of themselves and to succeed in doing what they love most. She offers individual and group coaching for victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse at NarcissisticAbuseRecovery.Online and NarcissismSupportCoach.com.