You’re actually in a good mood – a rare gift. But as usual, he can’t stand to see you happy.
He tries repeatedly to argue with you, but you foil him again and again. You finally give up and retreat into blessed dissociation , the only sanctuary you have from this toxic abuse.
Before long, he’s popping in and out of the room, desperately trying to pick a fight.
Pretending to be light and breezy.
Maybe even charming – but just under the surface bubbles up the bile he’s about to spew upon you.
You can feel his energy practically burning you as he enters the room – it’s so intense you can almost feel him buzzing with vindictive venom, prepared to strike out for any infraction, real or perceived.
He grows tired of being ignored: he needs to be the center of attention. But since you’ve slipped into dissociation it looks like you’re pretty much gray rocking him into submission.
From somewhere deep inside your head, you notice he’s yelling at you – again. Shamelessly placing all of the blame for everything that’s wrong in your lives squarely on your shoulders – as usual.
He talks about how you’re just like (insert insulting comparison here).
He calls you lazy, stupid … not good enough.
He pulls trigger after trigger – literally trying everything to get your attention so he can unleash his pent up narcissistic rage all over you and finally relieve himself of the pain.
He uses you like a drug, to soothe his guilty and self-hating soul. As he spews his bile, you are melted, bit by bit.
Now you make a choice. Keep doing this. Or not.
What do you pick?
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Angela Atkinson is a Certified Life Coach and the author of more than 20 books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery and related topics. A recognized expert on narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder who has studied and written extensively on narcissistic relationships since 2006, Atkinson was inspired to begin her work as a result of having survived toxic relationships of her own.
Atkinson offers trauma-informed coaching and has certifications in life coaching, level 2 therapeutic model, CBT coaching, integrative wellness coaching, and NLP. She is a certified trauma support coach and certified family trauma professional. She also has a professional PTSD counseling certification. Her mission is to help those who have experienced the emotional and mental devastation that comes with narcissistic abuse in these incredibly toxic relationships to (re)discover their true selves, stop the gaslighting and manipulation and move forward into their genuine desires – into a life that is exactly what they choose for themselves.
Along with her solution-focused life coaching experience, Atkinson’s previous career in journalism and research helps her to offer both accurate and understandable information for survivors of abuse in a simple-to-understand way that helps to increase awareness in the narcissistic abuse recovery community. Atkinson founded QueenBeeing.com Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support, the SPANily Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups and the Life Makeover Academy. In her life coaching practice, Atkinson’s clients enjoy her personalized approach that allows and encourages them to become the best possible versions of themselves and to succeed in doing what they love most. She offers individual and group coaching for victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse at NarcissisticAbuseRecovery.Online and NarcissismSupportCoach.com.
I can never seem to locate the reader comments. Right now I clicked on Comments and I only get this ‘Leave a Reply’. Surely there are comments from others and I would like to rea them. What am I doing wrong here?