Letting Go: Memories Don’t Have to Hurt

Written by Angela Atkinson

Nearly everyone can relate to the feeling of not being able to let go of something that is no longer useful in their lives.

Whether it’s a painful memory or a person that isn’t treating you the way you deserve to be treated, it can often be better to “let go” and allow yourself to heal.

This doesn’t mean you have to forget–just that you have to stop allowing it to color your present and future.

Fact is, we’ve all dealt with issues that have brought up negativity from the past.

Perhaps we thought we had already healed completely–but sometimes, the issues simply lie dormant until something triggers them.

This can make it feel like the proverbial wounds are reopened. Never a good thing.

At any rate, if we hope to find bliss, we must let these issues go and move forward. Letting them color our present would be cheating ourselves out of the happiness we have in our lives today.

How to let go of negativity and pain from the past

Can you simply forget these things, or to heal from them? What is the solution? Can anything be done?

  • First, simply decide to be happy. Decide to accept only the lessons and love from the past, and try to let negative emotions pass through you, noticed but not dwelled upon. Choose to stay positive and to let go of the pain from the past.
  • Second, remember that no matter what happened, there’s nothing we can do to change the past. There’s no time machine, no going back. We can only move forward. We are in control of our emotions, and we can choose to feel good. Feeling good brings more good into our lives. Negativity begets more negativity.

The choice should seem simple.

Every single one of us has experienced life changing events–both positive and negative. Even positive changes can be scary, but for those of us who have trouble overcoming negative ones, there’s hope, and it’s so easy.

Just feel good.

Take care of your body, take care of your soul. Nurture the real you, and introduce him or her to the world. Be comfortable in your skin, and in your place in the world. Take your spot, take it now, and the universe will take its cue from you.

Decide to be happy today. Decide to move forward and release all negativity. Any time you feel negativity coming on, affirm “All good things are coming to me today” or something that fits your situation specifically, and then consciously release the negativity.

I’ll leave you with a final thought, an old Sweedish Proverb:

“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours”

Will you decide to be happy today? What do you need to “let go” of right now? Share your thoughts in the comments section, below.



  • Angela Atkinson

    Angela Atkinson is a certified trauma counselor and the author of more than 20 books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and related topics. A recognized expert on narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder who has studied and written extensively on narcissistic personality disorder and narcissistic abuse in toxic relationships since 2006, she has a popular narcissistic abuse recovery YouTube channel. Atkinson was inspired to begin her work as a result of having survived toxic relationships of her own. Atkinson offers trauma-informed narcissistic abuse recovery coaching and has certifications in trauma counseling, life coaching, level 2 therapeutic model, CBT coaching, integrative wellness coaching, and NLP. She is a certified trauma support coach and certified family trauma professional. She also has a professional PTSD counseling certification. Her mission is to help those who have experienced the emotional and mental devastation that comes with narcissistic abuse in these incredibly toxic relationships to (re)discover their true selves, stop the gaslighting and manipulation, and move forward into their genuine desires – into a life that is exactly what they choose for themselves. Along with her solution-focused life coaching experience, Atkinson’s previous career in journalism and research helps her to offer both accurate and understandable information for survivors of abuse in a simple-to-understand way that helps to increase awareness in the narcissistic abuse recovery community. Atkinson founded QueenBeeing.com Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support, the SPANily Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups and the Life Makeover Academy. She offers individual and group coaching for victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse here at QueenBeeing.com and at NarcissisticAbuseRecovery.Online.

Get Guided Help with Your Narcissistic Abuse Recovery

Subscribe and get a special email series from Angie – packed with free gifts to help you heal and evolve!

Where are you in your recovery?



We won’t send you spam. Unsubscribe at any time.

Powered By ConvertKit

Award for Angie’s YouTube Channel

Disclosure – Click to Read


You're not alone.

We have been there and we can help you heal.

Related Articles

Refund Information

We are all going through a difficult time as our community is grieving the loss of our coach and guiding light, Angie Atkinson. All refunds will start processing in January. Please get in touch with us about any refunds that we need to give out. You can contact us at...

What is NLP (Neurolinguistic Programming)?

What is NLP (Neurolinguistic Programming)?

If you're struggling to recover from narcissistic abuse, you might be interested in learning about Neuro-Linguistic Programming or NLP.  It's a surprisingly simple yet highly effective treatment for symptoms of complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD)...

Get Guided Help with Your Recovery & Stay Up to Date With The Latest News & Updates

Join the SPANily! Start with our free newsletter.

Subscribe and get a special email series from Angie - packed with free gifts to help you heal and evolve!

    Where are you in your recovery?
    We respect your privacy. Unsubscribe at any time.
    Powered By ConvertKit

    Pin It on Pinterest

    Share This

    Share this post with someone who needs it!