“If you have been living with a narcissist for a long time, you may feel that you have lost all ability to function as an intelligent human being. By the time I divorced, I no longer felt confident about my looks, my ability to use technology, driving ability, or the reliability of my thoughts and emotions. It’s not an easy thing to come back from but you can do it.” ~ First Wives World
Narcissists are infamous for their gaslighting manipulation techniques. You know, the ones they actively use in order to get what they want.
Related: What You Need to Know About Narcissistic Rage
These techniques can be psychologically devastating for their victims. Quite often, narcissists have such an emotional hold over the people in their lives that they literally invade their every thought.
If someone in your life makes you feel completely worthless, or constantly questions your sanity (especially when no one else in your life sees you this way), you might be dealing with a narcissist who is actively using a tactic called gaslighting.
There are only a few ways to stop gaslighting.
The first and most drastic is to simply cease all contact with the narcissist. This is definitely the most effective way to end the cycle of emotional manipulation that can come with a relationship with a narcissist.
But in some cases, “no contact” isn’t possible. So what can you do then?
Simple: limit contact – at least as much as you can.
It’s not always going to be possible to avoid your narcissist, so it’s better to only spend as much time as necessary with him or her. The same goes for conversation when you do spend time together. Try to avoid it when you can, and if you must engage, don’t get beyond small talk.
Stand Up and Refuse to Cower
This sounds kind of silly, but if you’ve been in a relationship with a narcissist, you know what I’m talking about.
When gaslighting happens, a narcissist wants to feel in control, so he will do his best to make you feel crazy. But if you do not allow him to intimidate or upset you, then you take back your power and become the rightful mistress (or master) of your own destiny.
How do you do this? You simply REFUSE TO REACT in any negative way, other than to quietly stand up and remove yourself if necessary. Refuse to be confrontational. And watch the narcissist squirm. By not paying attention or giving him the satisfaction of a reaction, you cause the narcissist to feel irrelevant. That makes him upset and knocks him off-kilter – and he might even decide to go back into “charming” mode in order to get back his narcissistic supply (aka your attention). Either way, it stops the gaslighting – at least temporarily.
This video offers additional information on how to stop gaslighting, plus an overview of the gray rock technique and its creation story.
Want more ways to end gaslighting? Check out Take Back Your Life: 103 Highly-Effective Strategies to Snuff Out a Narcissist’s Gaslighting and Enjoy the Happy Life You Really Deserve.
How about you? Have you found a way to stop gaslighting? Share it when you hit me up on Facebook.
More Articles to Help You Stop Gaslighting
- Free Help for Victims of Narcissism and Gaslighting
- Toxic Relationships and Narcissism: Stages of Gaslighting
- Narcissistic Rage and Narcissistic Injury: What You Need to Know
- My New Bestseller: ‘Take Back Your Life’
- Divorcing a narcissist? Drop the tears, think straight, expert says
- Narcissistic Abuse Recovery: Find the Light at the End of the Tunnel and Be Brave
- Gaslighting and Toxic Narcissism: Top 10 Red Flags (Video)
- Shocking Truth: This is Why Even Very Smart People Can Be Gaslighted
- Narcissistic Abuse Awareness: 7 Red-Hot Flags of Emotional Manipulation
Angela Atkinson is a Certified Life Coach and the author of more than 20 books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery and related topics. A recognized expert on narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder who has studied and written extensively on narcissistic relationships since 2006, Atkinson was inspired to begin her work as a result of having survived toxic relationships of her own.
Atkinson offers trauma-informed coaching and has certifications in life coaching, level 2 therapeutic model, CBT coaching, integrative wellness coaching, and NLP. She is a certified trauma support coach and certified family trauma professional. She also has a professional PTSD counseling certification. Her mission is to help those who have experienced the emotional and mental devastation that comes with narcissistic abuse in these incredibly toxic relationships to (re)discover their true selves, stop the gaslighting and manipulation and move forward into their genuine desires – into a life that is exactly what they choose for themselves.
Along with her solution-focused life coaching experience, Atkinson’s previous career in journalism and research helps her to offer both accurate and understandable information for survivors of abuse in a simple-to-understand way that helps to increase awareness in the narcissistic abuse recovery community. Atkinson founded QueenBeeing.com Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support, the SPANily Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups and the Life Makeover Academy. In her life coaching practice, Atkinson’s clients enjoy her personalized approach that allows and encourages them to become the best possible versions of themselves and to succeed in doing what they love most. She offers individual and group coaching for victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse at NarcissisticAbuseRecovery.Online and NarcissismSupportCoach.com.
