~THE COOKIE ILLUSTRATION~
What is ‘love’ with a sociopath like?
Well, imagine there’s a vending machine in front of you with one big red button that says, ‘FREE COOKIES’. At first, the cookies are so delicious.. so euphoric. But afterward, every time you press the button, you receive a painful electric shock.
But you keep pressing the button, hoping.. becoming frantic. After about the 99th time of getting shocked, you get a broken chip of a cookie.
You actually feel sad, yet you are thankful for at least having this broken piece of cookie.
When you finish the broken cookie, you realize you would gladly get shocked another 99 times to get another broken piece of cookie. Desperation is now a daily occurrence.
So you continue, accepting the malfunction and the biting pain of each shock. You now live on your knees in front of the cookie vending machine.
Then one day, the cookies stop coming.
That’s ‘love’ with a sociopath. It’s not real love–this is trauma bonding.
Only you can stop it.
This is the behavior of addiction.
And…that machine is deriving power from harming you. Power that it will use to continue harming you as long as you stay.
Do you want a better life? Then do the work of recovery.
- Start by taking our free trauma bonding quiz.
- This video playlist may also help you with recovery from trauma bonding.
- Visit our trauma bonding resource page.
Jenney Moore is a lifelong resident of the Pacific NW, and a survivor of a 25-year abusive marriage. She stayed as long as she did simply due to being unaware of personality disorders.
“I’d never even heard the term, and was incredibly naïve…at every promise he made to change, I tearfully bought in again and again”, she remembers.
Finally leaving in 2012, she now works giving support in multiple Facebook abuse victims’ support groups including one she and several fellow admins started at New Year of 2019, and works as a senior administrative assistant for a major utility company.
She is a singer/musician, visual artist, fitness enthusiast, and shares her home with her daughter and son-in-law.