Everyone’s talking about this woman who recently wrote a letter to the woman who married her ex-husband (and stepped into the role of “stepmother” to her child.
I normally don’t cover things like this, but when I read the letter, I felt compelled to comment on it.
Most of the time, when I hear about the “new” wife or the stepmother, I don’t hear a lot of good. But in this letter, blogger Candice Curry did something most “first wives” would never dream of doing.
She laid it all on the line.
The letter, addressed “to my daughter’s stepmom,” begins with a single sentence:
“I never wanted you here.”
Curry goes on to explain what she really DID want and how the unexpected changes in her life brought the two of them together in this whole “dual family” thing.
She acknowledges that she’s sure the feeling is mutual. She notes that she “can almost bet that when you dreamed of becoming a mother it would be the day you gave birth and not the day you married your husband.”
She adds: “I’m pretty sure you never planned on me being here.”
As a mom who is blessed enough to not have to deal with someone in the “stepmom” role, I choked up when I read this line:
“I don’t see you as a fill in for when I’m not there. You are her mother when she’s with you and when she’s with me. She’s excited to call you and tell you her stories when she’s at my house and that makes my heart want to jump from my chest with joy. I fill with pride when you wrap your arms around me and squeeze for a genuine and loving hug each time we see each other.”
It’s hard for me to imagine being able to honestly be fine with telling another woman that she can be my daughter’s (or son’s) “mother” – let alone imagining having to share.
This letter from Candice to her daughter’s stepmom proves that there really can be a more positive perspective in nearly any situation.
Imagine if she didn’t drop her preconceived notions. How different would the relationship be with her child? Her ex-husband? Would her life be BETTER? Obviously, she’s making a choice that benefits all involved – and the choice is simple: to accept what IS and to find a positive way to look at it.
Click the link below to read the letter, and be sure to tell me what you think about all of this. Could you be as big of a person as Candice was when she wrote this letter? What does it make you feel like to read it?
See Candice’s letter to her co-mom click here
Angela Atkinson is a Certified Life Coach and the author of more than 20 books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery and related topics. A recognized expert on narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder who has studied and written extensively on narcissistic relationships since 2006, Atkinson was inspired to begin her work as a result of having survived toxic relationships of her own.
Atkinson offers trauma-informed coaching and has certifications in life coaching, level 2 therapeutic model, CBT coaching, integrative wellness coaching, and NLP. She is a certified trauma support coach and certified family trauma professional. She also has a professional PTSD counseling certification. Her mission is to help those who have experienced the emotional and mental devastation that comes with narcissistic abuse in these incredibly toxic relationships to (re)discover their true selves, stop the gaslighting and manipulation and move forward into their genuine desires – into a life that is exactly what they choose for themselves.
Along with her solution-focused life coaching experience, Atkinson’s previous career in journalism and research helps her to offer both accurate and understandable information for survivors of abuse in a simple-to-understand way that helps to increase awareness in the narcissistic abuse recovery community. Atkinson founded QueenBeeing.com Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support, the SPANily Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups and the Life Makeover Academy. In her life coaching practice, Atkinson’s clients enjoy her personalized approach that allows and encourages them to become the best possible versions of themselves and to succeed in doing what they love most. She offers individual and group coaching for victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse at NarcissisticAbuseRecovery.Online and NarcissismSupportCoach.com.