A recent study found that many parents are “too soft” on their kids, offering too much praise and not enough criticism, according to CNN’s Ruben Navarette.
This, according to researchers, can apparently lead to narcissism.
I think there’s definitely a certain amount of validity to the theory, but in my experience, there’s a more prominent group of narcissists who grew up thinking they weren’t good enough for whatever reason.
The researchers listed traits and experiences that contribute to narcissism: public schools that tolerate mediocrity; a nurturing culture where everyone gets a trophy; social media, where everyone with an opinion can share it; a celebrity and reality show culture that tells Americans anyone can be famous. At the top of the list though: parenting.
So what is the antidote to this epidemic of narcissism? In a word: balance. You can praise your kids, but always make sure what you’re praising is an actual achievement or accomplishment. Don’t just cheer them on for participating. They’ll get enough of that, along with a handful of ribbons, from playing school sports.
On the other side of that coin, don’t be afraid to set high expectations, demand that they be met, offer constructive criticism when necessary, and remind your children that contrary to what they may be hearing from marketers and the rest of society the world does not revolve around them.
Encourage them to think of the collective good, and not just focus on themselves as an individual. Remind them that, just as important as how they feel about themselves, is how other people feel about them. And, as often as possible, stress to them that while they shouldn’t let anyone look down on them they also have a duty not to look down on anyone else.
Oh, and you can skip the part where you tell them they’re special. Rest assured, across town, another parent is telling her child the exact same thing. So how “special” could either one of them really be?
Click below to read the full article on CNN’s website.
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See The Original Story on CNN’s website
Angela Atkinson is a certified trauma counselor and the author of more than 20 books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and related topics. A recognized expert on narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder who has studied and written extensively on narcissistic personality disorder and narcissistic abuse in toxic relationships since 2006, she has a popular narcissistic abuse recovery YouTube channel. Atkinson was inspired to begin her work as a result of having survived toxic relationships of her own.
Atkinson offers trauma-informed narcissistic abuse recovery coaching and has certifications in trauma counseling, life coaching, level 2 therapeutic model, CBT coaching, integrative wellness coaching, and NLP. She is a certified trauma support coach and certified family trauma professional. She also has a professional PTSD counseling certification. Her mission is to help those who have experienced the emotional and mental devastation that comes with narcissistic abuse in these incredibly toxic relationships to (re)discover their true selves, stop the gaslighting and manipulation, and move forward into their genuine desires – into a life that is exactly what they choose for themselves.
Along with her solution-focused life coaching experience, Atkinson’s previous career in journalism and research helps her to offer both accurate and understandable information for survivors of abuse in a simple-to-understand way that helps to increase awareness in the narcissistic abuse recovery community. Atkinson founded QueenBeeing.com Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support, the SPANily Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups and the Life Makeover Academy.
She offers individual and group coaching for victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse at NarcissisticAbuseRecovery.Online.