The Narcissistic Whirl Response to Gray Rock

Written by Angela Atkinson

Narcissistic Manipulation Technique: The Narcissistic Whirl Response to Gray Rock – How Narcissists React When You Successfully Gray Rock

Ever notice how some narcissists will have a complete meltdown if you don’t pay enough attention to them? Have you noticed how, when you try to use the gray rock method to deal with their gaslighting tactics, the meltdowns are a little different? I call this the narcissistic whirl response. Here is what you need to know.

What is the Narcissistic Whirl?

What is the narcissistic whirl? It’s a term I’ve coined for the quickly-shifting emotions of narcissists during conversations and interactions – especially with their primary source of supply.

In other words, the narcissistic whirl is a common response a narcissist will give you when you turn the tables on them by using the gray rock method in response to the narcissist’s attempt to gaslight and manipulate you.

What is gaslighting?

Gaslighting is a pervasive and highly-effective tactic meant to manipulate you into questioning your own sanity, your own perception of the world around you and even your own thoughts. It is used by most narcissists and is done in order to make you feel crazy and confused. The goal in most cases is to get you under control and make you dependent on the narcissist. You doubt yourself and your ability to make choices or even decide exactly what you’re seeing around you. Learn more about gaslighting and how to deal with it here.

What is the gray rock method?

Gray rock (or grey rock) is a coping technique to deal with an abusive narcissist who is actively gaslighting you. It was named and first published by a writer called Skylar.

How does the gray rock method work?

Skylar advises that you act boring and don’t react to the narcissist’s attempts to engage you in drama. The tactic is highly effective but also infuriating for narcissists to experience. Use with caution if you are dealing with any physical abuse as the narcissist may not react well.

Here is some additional help with using the gray rock method on your own.

Watch this video where I fill you in on the details of the narcissistic whirl response to the gray rock method – does it sound familiar to you? If you stick around through the end, I’ll also teach you how to deal with this particular technique without completely losing your mind – and what it means if it’s happening to you.

Narcissist Manipulation Technique: The Narcissistic Whirl Response to Gray Rock – How Narcissists React When You Successfully Gray Rock The Narcissistic Whirl

Helpful Articles and Information on Narcissistic Manipulation Techniques


  • Angela Atkinson

    Angela Atkinson is a certified trauma counselor and the author of more than 20 books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and related topics. A recognized expert on narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder who has studied and written extensively on narcissistic personality disorder and narcissistic abuse in toxic relationships since 2006, she has a popular narcissistic abuse recovery YouTube channel. Atkinson was inspired to begin her work as a result of having survived toxic relationships of her own. Atkinson offers trauma-informed narcissistic abuse recovery coaching and has certifications in trauma counseling, life coaching, level 2 therapeutic model, CBT coaching, integrative wellness coaching, and NLP. She is a certified trauma support coach and certified family trauma professional. She also has a professional PTSD counseling certification. Her mission is to help those who have experienced the emotional and mental devastation that comes with narcissistic abuse in these incredibly toxic relationships to (re)discover their true selves, stop the gaslighting and manipulation, and move forward into their genuine desires – into a life that is exactly what they choose for themselves. Along with her solution-focused life coaching experience, Atkinson’s previous career in journalism and research helps her to offer both accurate and understandable information for survivors of abuse in a simple-to-understand way that helps to increase awareness in the narcissistic abuse recovery community. Atkinson founded Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support, the SPANily Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups and the Life Makeover Academy. She offers individual and group coaching for victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse here at and at NarcissisticAbuseRecovery.Online.

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