Original Question on Quora: Why do some narcissistic mothers only enjoy having children until they reach puberty?
I see this in both sons and daughters of narcissistic mothers – but the effect is different for each. Puberty leads to physical development – and when the child is a female, a narcissistic mother is often threatened by her. The mother may feel less attractive or even feel like she wants to compete with the daughter. In the more covert/cerebral narcissist, this will be a subtle thing, but in the more overt/exhibitionist types, you’re going to see it become painfully obvious.
I found that the change is different with boys of narcissistic mothers. Sometimes, it doesn’t even become an issue (especially if the mother is the histrionic type).
But whether we’re talking male or female, any child who refuses to be what his/her mother wishes they would or who has an opinion different than that of the mother (and expresses it loud enough) is going to be a target and scapegoat for the narcissistic mother.