I recently joined Tiktok and discovered a lot of interesting things. First, there are plenty of Gen Xers (and above) on the app. I definitely did not fully expect that.
And secondly, much to my surprise, there is a beautifully connected community for narcissistic abuse recovery on Tiktok. (To be clear, this was a delightful find! )
While there are a few creators who seem to be part of the community there who have a…different philosophy, there are many who seem to be genuine and sincere in their efforts to help others. I also notice there’s a whole different culture and vibe on this platform.
On some level, it feels more personal and also less personal at the same time. It’s difficult to describe, but for the most part, I actually really like it. I’ve already met some really wonderful people there, many of whom began their healing journey with me years ago.
I’m still learning the ropes, of course, but it’s been fun so far.
Now, don’t worry! I won’t be leaving YouTube for a LOT of reasons. Not only can I be more specific and create more comprehensive content for you there, but I already have an amazing and connected community there, and it remains my primary area of focus. Still, I am enjoying Tiktok more than I’d have expected!
Fair warning, if you haven’t already jumped on Tiktok: it’s incredibly addictive and you’ll want to set time limits for yourself upfront. Yes, I am serious. With that being said, it is absolutely doable and can be an excellent way to connect on a more personal level with people who are going through the same things you’ve gone through or are going through now.
One reason I find it so enjoyable is that, as soon as a few creators learned I’d showed up there, they created these beautiful welcome videos for me. Here are some examples for you.
@coachangieatkinsonI just wanted to say thank you so much to @recover_your_p.o.w.e.r for the amazing shout out & warm welcome. ♡ #narcissisticabusesurvivors #shineon♬ original sound – Angie Atkinson
@coachangieatkinson##duet with @coachelizabethshaw Thank you so much 💓 I appreciate you and the warm welcome 🙏 @coachelizabethshaw♬ Emotional Piano Instrumental In E Minor – Tom Bailey Backing Tracks
So, if you’re on Tiktok now or you’ve considered going there, let’s connect! Here’s my profile. If not, no worries! We can stay connected on this healing journey in whatever way works best for you. For example, we may already be connected through one or more of the following platforms.
- My YouTube Channel
- Free Support Groups
- Life Makeover Academy
- My SPANily Home (Off-Facebook Support Groups)
Heads up: The Darker Side of the Narcissistic Abuse Community on Tiktok
Clearly, when you get involved in any social media platform, there are people who might cause you stress and upset, especially when you’re trying to recover from trauma. On Tiktok, there are a few so-called “self-proclaimed narcissists” who speak on narcissistic abuse recovery – much like Sam Vaknin and H.G. Tudor on YouTube.
With that being said, it’s important to recognize that while there are diagnosed narcissists, if they actually have narcissistic personality disorder, there’s a chance that they do what they do not to help you but for narcissistic supply. Even so, people often claim to have found value in these narcissists and their work.
There are also those creators who clearly mean well but who appear to be a bit confused with the advice they’re giving people. For example, they may misunderstand a term and give an incorrect definition or even give really, really bad advice. Just be careful.
About Getting ‘Bad’ Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Advice on the Internet
As validating as it can be to find people who actually seem to get you, I want you to be especially careful with taking advice from anyone when it comes to your recovery from narcissistic abuse. As I said, there’s a reason I have been very concerned with some of what I’ve been seeing from just a few creators on Tiktok. But again – most of them are amazing and really do seem to have a real mission to help their fellow survivors.
I don’t want you to assume that I’m saying every Tiktok creator in the narcissistic abuse recovery space is bad or out to get you. But I have to admit … because you are a member of my SPANily and my own narcissistic abuse recovery community, I care about you and I feel a little protective of you.
So, I am only sharing this with you because I want you to stay safe, and to understand that not everyone who talks about narcissistic abuse recovery is actually an expert – so you need to take any advice you get and double-check it – and only use what feels right to you.
And just to be clear, this is not JUST about narcissistic abuse recovery creators on Tiktok. In fact, I want you to really think about and double-check literally ANY advice from literally ANYONE on the internet on any topic – including me. While I am personally a recognized expert in this area, I am not in your shoes. I am not living your life, and I am not fully aware of your exact circumstances if you aren’t one of my one-on-one coaching clients.
And while we do have a lot in common due to our shared experiences as narcissistic abuse survivors, there are also differences for each of us. We all have different financial and relationship situations, different lives, and different perspectives – so certain advice I would offer might not be quite right for your own situation. You have to be your own best advocate, my friend, and I’m here to support you in that.
Take care of yourself. I appreciate you. Know that you are loved, and know you’re not alone.
Angela Atkinson is a certified trauma counselor and the author of more than 20 books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and related topics. A recognized expert on narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder who has studied and written extensively on narcissistic personality disorder and narcissistic abuse in toxic relationships since 2006, she has a popular narcissistic abuse recovery YouTube channel. Atkinson was inspired to begin her work as a result of having survived toxic relationships of her own.
Atkinson offers trauma-informed narcissistic abuse recovery coaching and has certifications in trauma counseling, life coaching, level 2 therapeutic model, CBT coaching, integrative wellness coaching, and NLP. She is a certified trauma support coach and certified family trauma professional. She also has a professional PTSD counseling certification. Her mission is to help those who have experienced the emotional and mental devastation that comes with narcissistic abuse in these incredibly toxic relationships to (re)discover their true selves, stop the gaslighting and manipulation, and move forward into their genuine desires – into a life that is exactly what they choose for themselves.
Along with her solution-focused life coaching experience, Atkinson’s previous career in journalism and research helps her to offer both accurate and understandable information for survivors of abuse in a simple-to-understand way that helps to increase awareness in the narcissistic abuse recovery community. Atkinson founded QueenBeeing.com Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support, the SPANily Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups and the Life Makeover Academy.
She offers individual and group coaching for victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse here at QueenBeeing.com and at NarcissisticAbuseRecovery.Online.