If you’ve ever been in a toxic relationship with a narcissist, chances are you’ve got some healing to do. Not just “regular” healing, either.
We’re talking about whole life healing – body, mind and soul – because narcissistic abuse will affect every aspect of your being.
You’ll be less physically healthy. You’ll be less mentally, psychologically and spiritually healthy, and you’ll find yourself suffering from low self-esteem, a loss of identity and more. When you’re ready to begin to take back your life, you’ll be ready to begin the journey of narcissistic abuse recovery.
What is Narcissistic Abuse Recovery?
In order to understand what narcissistic abuse recovery is, we must first define both “narcissist” and “narcissistic abuse.”
What is a Narcissist?
A narcissist can be a man or a woman, and they will most definitely have a very a high opinion of him/herself. The toxic narcissist will have a sense of entitlement (most often unearned). The toxic narcisist is a verbally (and sometimes physically) abusive person who may have narcissistic personality disorder.
This type of narcissist will show little to no empathy for the people around them and will act from that perspective. They don’t think about or concern themselves with how others feel, and you can tell because of the way they treat the people around them. They may be overtly narcissistic, or they may be more of a covert narcissist.
Narcissistic abuse is verbal, emotional and occasionally physically abuse that can be experienced by anyone in a close relationship with one of these toxic people.
Narcissistic supply may include childen, spouses or partners, parents and other friends, relatives and acquaintences. Those who remain close are often used as a form of narcissistic supply and not treated like an actual person.
Sadly, even the most intelligent and educated people can be manipulated and abused by a narcissist.
DID YOU KNOW?
You’ll need to grieve the loss of a narcissist.
Many people assume that going through a toxic relationship with a narcissistic abuser would require no grieving process – no mourning – no grief at all. People assume that you should be glad it’s over.
However, despite popular assumption, we need to go through the stages of grief in narcissistic abuse recovery – but it’s a lot more complicated than your standard grief process.
Traits of Narcissistic Personality Disorder
- A grandiose sense of self-importance
- A preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
- A belief that he or she is “special” and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
- A requirement for excessive admiration
- A sense of entitlement – unreasonable expectations of especially favourable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations
- Interpersonal exploitativeness – taking advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends
- A lack of empathy and an unwillingness to recognise or identify with the feelings and needs of others
- Enviousness of others – along with the belief that others are envious of him or her
- A tendency to arrogant, haughty behaviours or attitudes
Source: Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders IV
Narcissistic Abuse Recovery: Defined
The process of narcissistic abuse recovery varies for everyone, but with intentional effort and focus on healing, recovery is possible for most survivors of narcissistic abuse. There are four basic stages of narcissistic abuse recovery.
Stages of Narcissistic Abuse Recovery
The Discovery Phase – When you’re first recognizing that you’ve got a problem in a relationship – and maybe for the first time ever, you’re starting to recognize that YOU are not the problem. You might suddenly realize you’re not the crazy one, after all – and if a friend, therapist or family member did not point it out to you, you may have come across a video or article that showed you the light.
The Understanding Phase – You know or are pretty convinced that you’re in a toxic relationship with a narcissist, whether it’s a romantic one, a family one or a friend or coworker one. You are pretty sure you’ve got to leave, or you’ve already left, but you feel stuck and you can’t seem to break free. You’re reading and watching everything you can about narcissists and narcissistic abuse because not only is it helping you wrap your head around what you’re dealing with, but for once, you’re feeling a sense of validation.
The Overcoming Phase – You know or are pretty convinced that you’re in a toxic relationship with a narcissist, whether it’s a romantic one, a family one or a friend or coworker one. You are pretty sure you’ve got to leave, or you’ve already left, but some part of you feels stuck and you can’t seem to break free emotonally and psychologically. Still, you’re in the right frame of mind to take your healing to the next level, and with intention, you will get there.
The Evolving Phase – You’re free of the narcissist and ready to move into creating the life you truly want. You are finding and following your own passions and you’re finally beginning to evolve into the person you’ve always been meant to be. Life is starting to get really, really good.
What stage of narcissistic abuse recovery are you in? Find out now.
Could you be codependent in a toxic relationship? Find out now.
How Can I Get Help With Narcissistic Abuse Recovery?
In some cases, you can find help with traditional therapy, but based on what we’ve learned, that isn’t always the right option since it can be hard to find a therapist who fully understands your situation. However, here at QueenBeeing, we offer several free and low-cost options for narcissistic abuse recovery support, in addition to our one-on-one narcissistic abuse recovery counseling and support.
Support for People Affected by Narcissistic Abuse in Toxic Relationships – A free, private Facebook support group that is professionally moderated by an amazing team of admins and the QueenBeeing coaching staff.
SPANily Support for Co-Parenting with a Narcissist – If you’re co-parenting with a narcissist, this is the group for you. A parenting-focused narcissistic abuse recovery support group by Angie Atkinson and QueenBeeing.com.
Support for Adult Children of Narcissistic Parents – If one or both of your parents were narcissists, chances are, you’re struggling more than you may realize. Get support from people who have been there.
Angela Atkinson is a Certified Life Coach and the author of more than 20 books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery and related topics. A recognized expert on narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder who has studied and written extensively on narcissistic relationships since 2006, Atkinson was inspired to begin her work as a result of having survived toxic relationships of her own.
Atkinson offers trauma-informed coaching and has certifications in life coaching, level 2 therapeutic model, CBT coaching, integrative wellness coaching, and NLP. She is a certified trauma support coach and certified family trauma professional. She also has a professional PTSD counseling certification. Her mission is to help those who have experienced the emotional and mental devastation that comes with narcissistic abuse in these incredibly toxic relationships to (re)discover their true selves, stop the gaslighting and manipulation and move forward into their genuine desires – into a life that is exactly what they choose for themselves.
Along with her solution-focused life coaching experience, Atkinson’s previous career in journalism and research helps her to offer both accurate and understandable information for survivors of abuse in a simple-to-understand way that helps to increase awareness in the narcissistic abuse recovery community. Atkinson founded QueenBeeing.com Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support, the SPANily Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups and the Life Makeover Academy. In her life coaching practice, Atkinson’s clients enjoy her personalized approach that allows and encourages them to become the best possible versions of themselves and to succeed in doing what they love most. She offers individual and group coaching for victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse at NarcissisticAbuseRecovery.Online and NarcissismSupportCoach.com.