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Narcissistic Relationship Cycle: Caused by Nurture or Nature?

We all know that narcissistic abusers follow certain relationship patterns: they first idealize you – put you up on a pedestal and seem like your soulmate (this is also called love bombing).

Next, they put you through the hell of the devalue and then the discard phase – and often these cycles are repeated for years.

Yesterday a reader asked me a really interesting question – how is it that these patterns are used by most narcissists in varying but identifiable iterations?

In this video, I’ll share my research and offer my best answer to the question – is toxic narcissism caused by environmental factors, or is there a genetic component involved – or could there be more than one factor in play?

YouTuber Mary Cutrone asked:

I’ve learned so much about the narcissist abuse tactics, but still have one question. How do they follow the same pattern? They don’t go to “narcissist school” … but follow the love bombing to the final discard like it’s a formula. What’s up?

In the Go Ask Angie series, I respond “off the cuff” to questions, comments and concerns sent to me by my YouTube viewers, readers from my site and those who reach out in other ways, such as by email.

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2 Responses to Why do narcissists follow identical relationship patterns?

  1. I have been involved with a narcissist for the last 6 years. Eventually married him and he left after a month. That’s when I got In touch with a girl I knew had been involved with him, in his discard phase of me, he went to her. It wasn’t until we spoke that I realised the real extent of what he’s done to me and to her. It’s been about 3 weeks since i found out everything, I always thought I was one of those people that would know and wouldn’t stand for being mistreated. I’m currently in a wave of emotions that come and go uncontrollably.

  2. Dear Sian,
    I have been through it. It was very painful working through what I learned. Eight months later, I am finally myself again and can’t believe how messed up I was over a very sick man. That disorder is very nasty. As you are experiencing. All you can do is take one day at a time and stay away from him as much as you can!!!! I cannot stress this enough! Do not react to anything he says if you must talk to him. And remind yourself it was never you!!! It has nothing to do with you. You just had the misfortune of crossing the path of a NPD person and you will come out of the pain stronger and smarter than ever before. Read everything you can about it!! And then be super good to yourself. But let yourself cry and rage and do all it must to work your emotions out so your brain can be in charge again. All my best dear one.

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