Narcissists Play These 5 Weird Games With You & It Makes Living With Them Hell

Written by Angela Atkinson

Have you ever found yourself Googling stuff someone has done to you and running into something that led you to suspect someone in your life is a narcissist?

Is someone close to you generally cruel, unfair, manipulative, and painfully clear to you or others in ways that don’t make sense?

Identifying Narcissistic Behaviors and Characteristics

While other unifying characteristics aren’t as obvious, the way that narcissists affect your life almost appears to be from some kind of ‘narcissist playbook.’ no different in how they will impact your life. 

A narcissist is a person who is defined by egocentricity, self-centeredness, and grandiosity.  Learn more about narcissistic traits.

The narcissist may or may not be diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder, a Cluster B Personality Disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention, and a lack of empathy for others.

A narcissist’s behavior can be difficult to deal with because it can be very irrational and manipulative. Sometimes it can be very subtle, especially when dealing with a covert narcissist. This, of course, confuses their victims.

5 Crazy-Making Behaviors of Narcissists

If you are in a relationship with someone who has narcissistic tendencies, some of the behaviors I describe here may seem familiar to you. Narcissists are not the easiest people to be around. Some of the signs of a narcissist are obvious.

For example, you know if someone is arrogant, demanding, has an inflated sense of self-importance, and a lack of empathy, they’re demonstrating narcissistic traits.

Has someone in your life caused you to start Googling things that led you to suspect you’re dealing with a narcissist? Are you the target of cruelty, unfairness, and manipulation by someone you suspect could be narcissistic?

Do you keep repeating the same mistakes in relationships that hurt you but don’t seem to teach you anything?
You’re not alone in feeling frustrated by a lack of change in your relationships, even though you try to fix everything and make amends.

Here are five common behaviors displayed by narcissists that might seem bizarre at first glance but illustrate some very telling red flags about the true nature of your relationship (and the person you’re dealing with).

What to Know If You’re Preparing to Leave a Narcissist

If you have been thinking about leaving a relationship with a narcissist or you’ve already left, it can help to know what is likely to come next.

  • Narcissists may try and drive their partners into denying the truth that the relationship is over, and many do whatever they can to thwart and hurt their former partners, including things like stalking, intentionally shaming you threatening your safety and actively gaslighting you.
  • They may engage in hoovering through love bombing to try to suck you back in.
  • Hoovering can be any behavior that draws you back into the narcissist’s web –  positive or negative.
  • They may also retaliate by hurting you emotionally or physically attacking you, and worse. 
  • Failing this, they’ll start a smear campaign and gather their respective flying monkeys to help facilitate the rumors they’re spinning about you. All to play the victim and get more narcissistic supply.
  • Remember that once they’ve passed the love bombing stage, narcissists tend to be limited in their ability to be emotionally responsive due to their limited capacity to feel anything other than cognitive empathy.
  • In the case of some ‘lower level’ narcissists, they don’t even mean to hurt you as much as they do. They cannot feel in ways other than how they want others to feel, so they will cling and try anything else to get what they need.
  • Malignant narcissists, on the other hand, are more likely to attempt to destroy you intentionally.
  • Either way, you must stay safe, and the best way to do that is to ensure that you don’t miss a single detail.

How to ensure you can safely leave the narcissist if you live with them

Start by thinking ahead – spend a little time watching the PLAN (Planning to Leave A Narcissist  videos. Download our free guide to a safe escape from a shared home with a narcissist and other free resources there.

  • The PLAN ensures a safe departure and leaves you no room for failure.  
  • Each video is designed to both support and validate you as you’re preparing to leave, each video covers a different aspect of what you need to consider before, during, and after you’ve left the narcissist. 
  • Plus, you’ll get a printable plan to leave, including a planning guide workbook and a planning timeline.
  • Also included are a to-do list, and checklists of must-have items and important paperwork you need to gather up and make copies of before you go, if possible.

Learn more about narcissists and their insecurity in this post.

Start Getting Help with Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Today

 

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Author

  • Angela Atkinson

    Angela Atkinson is a certified trauma counselor and the author of more than 20 books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and related topics. A recognized expert on narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder who has studied and written extensively on narcissistic personality disorder and narcissistic abuse in toxic relationships since 2006, she has a popular narcissistic abuse recovery YouTube channel. Atkinson was inspired to begin her work as a result of having survived toxic relationships of her own. Atkinson offers trauma-informed narcissistic abuse recovery coaching and has certifications in trauma counseling, life coaching, level 2 therapeutic model, CBT coaching, integrative wellness coaching, and NLP. She is a certified trauma support coach and certified family trauma professional. She also has a professional PTSD counseling certification. Her mission is to help those who have experienced the emotional and mental devastation that comes with narcissistic abuse in these incredibly toxic relationships to (re)discover their true selves, stop the gaslighting and manipulation, and move forward into their genuine desires – into a life that is exactly what they choose for themselves. Along with her solution-focused life coaching experience, Atkinson’s previous career in journalism and research helps her to offer both accurate and understandable information for survivors of abuse in a simple-to-understand way that helps to increase awareness in the narcissistic abuse recovery community. Atkinson founded QueenBeeing.com Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support, the SPANily Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups and the Life Makeover Academy. She offers individual and group coaching for victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse here at QueenBeeing.com and at NarcissisticAbuseRecovery.Online.

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