What Is Gaslighting?

What Is Gaslighting?

Many people have been victims of gaslighting without even being aware of it. You may have been a victim of it as well. How would you know? How can you tell you’re being gaslighted? Firstly, let’s go over what gaslighting really is and then you will be able to determine if this is something you have been a victim of.

What is gaslighting?

Gaslighting is a pervasive and highly-effective manipulation tactic used by most narcissists, meant to manipulate you by psychological means into questioning your own sanity. It is pure brainwashing. In addition to toxic narcissists, many abusers and cult leaders use this tactic, not to mention dictators. They do it slowly and subtly – so it kind of sneaks up on you before you realize it’s happening.

Read more: Gaslighting, Comprehensively Defined

Why is it called “gaslighting” anyway?

There was a movie in 1944 called Gaslight in which a man used this tactic on his wife to the point that she thought she really was losing her sanity. Let’s now go over some examples of gaslighting.

Even smart people can be gaslighted, despite popular opinion.

Narcissists seem to have the ability to gaslight even the most intelligent people. Learn more in this video. 

Do narcissists gaslight you on purpose? Do they know they’re doing it? I’ll explain in this video.

Gaslighting Examples

This video offers 78 examples of gaslighting by toxic narcissists.

In this video, I’ll explain 10 things toxic narcissists typically say while gaslighting you.

And here are a few more examples of gaslighting for you.

1. Gaslighters Are Liars

Anyone who is gaslighting a victim is excellent at lying and they will also deny that they had ever said something even if you can prove them wrong. An example of this is a girl at high school who was bullying another student viciously. And one day she was nice to the other student, and once this kept continuing the student asked her why she was all of a sudden being nice. The bully denied that she did anything wrong and made the student look crazy for accusing her of bullying. She said she would never do such a thing, even though it happened.

2. Anyone Or Anything That Is Special To You Is Used As Ammunition

If someone is gaslighting you, they might use your prized possessions or those who you love and care about as ammunition. This can also apply if you worked hard to achieve a high-status career role. For instance, someone is one of the best surgeons around. However, someone who is gaslighting them would tell them that they have no business being the best surgeon around, let alone being one at all.

They would go over the surgeon’s negative traits to the point that the would make the surgeon question his or her worth. That can easily cause them to lose confidence in what they do which can be quite dangerous for them and their patients if they allow the gaslighter to continue.

3. Gaslighters Use A Variety Of Tactics To Wear People Down

Gaslighters actively and intentionally confuse their victims in some pretty terrible ways. They might cut you down and build you up in the same day – and then tear you down again. And while they might come out with an unexpected positive point (think of this like a “crumb of affection”), they will often alternate this with outrageous accusations toward you with no logical reason.

For instance, let’s say a man has been gaslighting his wife for a while. He puts her down constantly, to the point that she is so used to it that she almost doesn’t notice…but one day, he starts praising her for the delicious dinners she cooks. This might make her start to think he really is not so bad. She starts to relax and feel almost happy. She even tells him how much better she’s feeling lately. His response is odd, but positive. Now, she’s floating on air. But then, out of the blue, he begins to accuse her of cheating on him (which she never has). This is leaving her confused and worn down, and fearful he will end up doing something worse.

How to Deal with Gaslighting

Start here – with the long-proven gray rock technique.

If you struggle with cognitive dissonance after gaslighting, try the anchoring technique explained in this video.

This playlist will help you discover, understand and overcome gaslighting.

If you are dealing with anyone who has been gaslighting you, these are the signs and examples. The best thing to do is to get these people out of your life and you will need some professional help with doing so safely. Not sure? Take our gaslighting test.

 

How to Stop Gaslighting in Toxic Relationships (No-Fail Genius Technique)

How to Stop Gaslighting in Toxic Relationships (No-Fail Genius Technique)

How to Stop Gaslighting in Relationships (Plus the Original Gray Rock Story) and Tips for Using the Gray Rock Method (Safely)

Communicating with a narcissist can be incredibly frustrating, especially when it matters that they comprehend what you’re saying. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve felt exasperated when trying to have simple conversations with narcissists who are actively gaslighting.

In this video, I’m going to explain to you the three stages of gaslighting, plus exactly why we fall for it. Plus: I’ll share the original story of how the gray rock method was invented and named by a woman named Skylar.

Gaslighting Examples- How It Feels and Ways to Recover

Gaslighting Examples- How It Feels and Ways to Recover

Gaslighting, what is it and how does it feel? Also, ways to deal with it and recover after.

Lise Colucci is one of the narcissistic abuse recovery life coaches at QueenBeeing.com.

For info or to schedule a coaching appointment with Lise go to https://queenbeeing.com/lise-colucci-c

Join The QueenBeeing SPANily (Support for People Affected by Narcissistic abuse in toxic relationships) – AKA “The SPANily” – at https://queenbeeing.com/span.

Gaslighting, Stinky Cerebral Narcissists & Self-Awareness (or lack thereof)

Gaslighting, Stinky Cerebral Narcissists & Self-Awareness (or lack thereof)


Self-Awareness, Gaslighting and Stinky Cerebral Narcissists: Ask Me Anything Q&A – Manipulation and NPD go hand in hand. Whether you’re dealing with a covert narcissist or a more overt one, this video is for you.

Today, I’ll answer the following questions, asked by the SPAN community when I said, “Ask me anything!”

  • Do narcissists consciously know what they are doing or is it subconscious?
  • Why do narcissists often resort to saying “you’re too sensitive,” or calling you “crazy” when you call them out on their mean and twisted behaviors?
  • Why is hygiene not important to some narcissists?
10 Things Narcissists Say When Gaslighting You

10 Things Narcissists Say When Gaslighting You

Things Narcissists Say To Make You Feel Crazy: Crazy-Making & Gaslighting Examples – Here are ten things narcissists say when they’re gaslighting you – and what they really mean, translated into “human English.”

Narcissists are never easy to deal with, but when you’re dealing with gaslighting, things get more complicated, don’t they?  Before we dig in, a quick definition of gaslighting.

Gaslighting is a sneaky way that narcissists manipulate us in order to gain control over us. For the record: it is a form of emotional abuse.

It causes us to question our judgment of even the tiniest things, the things we see in front of our own eyes and allows the narcissist to control us by making us dependent on their beliefs or their perception because we stopped trusting our own.

  1. “Why are you being so difficult?” means “Why are you not doing what I want you to do?”
  2. “You are abusive to me.” means “I feel that you are challenging my sense of Superiority and I want to guilt you into doing what I want so I will stop saying you’re abusive.”
  3. “How could you be mad at my rude comment? It sucks – you used to think I was funny” means “How dare you not laugh at the jokes I make at your expense? Don’t you know better? You didn’t give me the reaction I wanted and it’s your fault.”
  4. “You keep screwing up! This is outrageous! How many chances do you expect me to give you before I ghost?” means “I want you to do what I say, but you keep doing something else. I need you to feel afraid that you’ll be alone so you’ll start doing what I want.”
  5. “I really thought you would be the last guy/girl I would ever be with ” means “I’m already cheating on you, or considering it.”
  6. “Everyone thinks I’m amazing – why don’t you?” means “Can’t you just pretend you haven’t seen behind my mask?”
  7. “Look, I know what you think, but we just need to be on the same page.” means “Look, I don’t care what you think, and you need to think whatever I think instead.”
  8. “You make it impossible to talk to you” means “You just refuse to believe my lies, and I seriously hate that!”
  9. “You really think I did that? I’m shocked you think I’d do such a thing” means “How dare you see through the smoke and mirrors and see me for what and who I really am? Don’t you know I’m amazing and perfect?”
  10. “Oh my god, see, this is why we can’t talk! You’re always YELLING at me! Don’t you see that you’re the problem here?” means “I have twisted your words and thoughts until you get frustrated and yell at me. And my feelings are hurt that you expect me to take responsibility for my own behavior. This is really all your fault.”

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