“If you kiss on the first date and it’s not right, then there will be no second date. Sometimes it’s better to hold out and not kiss for a long time. I am a strong believer in kissing being very intimate, and the minute you kiss, the floodgates open for everything else.” ~Jennifer Lopez
In any case, there are lots of ways to go about finding new people to date – for example,maybe you’re meeting plenty of potential dates in clubs, stores, bars, church – aka “in person” meetings.
But if not, maybe you’re looking for love elsewhere – at work, in the neighborhood?
Or maybe, you’re finally ready to get set up by a friend or a family member.
Looking for Love? This one’s for you.
Like I said, online dating sites exist and they do work. They are capable of helping you find thousands of people you would be unlikely to come across in your daily life – I happen to know a lot of married couples who’ve met that way, and there’s not one thing wrong with it. You just have to be careful, and I mean REALLY careful.
Interesting fact: 1/3 of recently married couples met online.
My only other advice on that one is don’t spend too much money on it (but then you know me, I’m a cheap-skate!).
But if you’re looking for something a little more traditional, you might want to consider getting set up by your friends or family members – or maybe even a co-worker.
After all, the people closest to you might have some pretty valuable insight into who would be a compatible partner for you. Here are seven strategies to get your friends to set you up on a successful date (that really works!).
Get the Hookup: 7 Surefire Strategies to Get Your Friends to Set You Up on a Successful Date
- Advertise your availability. Taking out a billboard would be extreme, but it’s okay to let your loved ones know you want to meet new suitors. That way, they can be on the lookout for you.
- Let go of expectations. We’re often unclear about how to build a lasting relationship. Relax and enjoy each other’s company on a date. If you’re compatible, the chemistry may emerge gradually.
- Talk face to face. Getting together for a cup of coffee beats texting when it comes to forming a more accurate impression of someone. Focus on real world interactions.
- Behave courteously. Etiquette matters online. It’s even more important when you have mutual friends. Smile, make eye contact, and speak kindly.
- Decide on a second date. The only thing you need to figure out on most first dates is whether you would like to see each other at least one more time. If you find someone appealing, let them know.
- Hire a professional. You may also want to try working with a paid matchmaking service. Browse for options online or in your neighborhood. Study contracts carefully before signing.
- Try again. A happy relationship is worth searching for. Express your gratitude to your friends so they’ll keep sharing their contacts. Read about relationships and communication skills so you’ll be ready for love wherever you encounter it.
If finding a romantic partner is important to you, look for love in multiple places. Find your next date over the internet or through your next door neighbor. It can be fun and rewarding to bring couples together whether you’re arranging a match or being set up yourself.
Angela Atkinson is a Certified Life Coach and the author of more than 20 books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery and related topics. A recognized expert on narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder who has studied and written extensively on narcissistic relationships since 2006, Atkinson was inspired to begin her work as a result of having survived toxic relationships of her own.
Atkinson offers trauma-informed coaching and has certifications in life coaching, level 2 therapeutic model, CBT coaching, integrative wellness coaching, and NLP. She is a certified trauma support coach and certified family trauma professional. She also has a professional PTSD counseling certification. Her mission is to help those who have experienced the emotional and mental devastation that comes with narcissistic abuse in these incredibly toxic relationships to (re)discover their true selves, stop the gaslighting and manipulation and move forward into their genuine desires – into a life that is exactly what they choose for themselves.
Along with her solution-focused life coaching experience, Atkinson’s previous career in journalism and research helps her to offer both accurate and understandable information for survivors of abuse in a simple-to-understand way that helps to increase awareness in the narcissistic abuse recovery community. Atkinson founded QueenBeeing.com Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support, the SPANily Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups and the Life Makeover Academy. In her life coaching practice, Atkinson’s clients enjoy her personalized approach that allows and encourages them to become the best possible versions of themselves and to succeed in doing what they love most. She offers individual and group coaching for victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse at NarcissisticAbuseRecovery.Online and NarcissismSupportCoach.com.