How to Build the Courage to Leave an Abusive Partner

How to Build the Courage to Leave an Abusive Partner

When you’re in an abusive relationship, it can be difficult to see the way out. But, you don’t have to be trapped in a relationship with an abusive partner. Here’s some help.

How do you safely leave an abusive partner?

Discover how to separate yourself from them in a safe way by using these strategies:

Be honest with yourself about why you haven’t already left.

Understand why you stay. You can’t gain the courage to leave until you understand why you’re staying. Are these reasons preventing you from leaving,

  • Maybe you’re staying out of fear.
  • You may feel stuck in the relationship because it’s the only thing you have right now. Despite the issues, it’s a familiar place. You may even feel secure in the familiarity.
  • You might even stay because you feel that you deserve to be punished. You’re worried that you won’t be able to find someone else who is better. And, because of the abuse, you may feel responsible for the situation.
  • In addition, perhaps you believe that you can fix the issues. You may think that if you love your partner enough, then they will stop being abusive.

Focus on getting stronger, mentally and emotionally.

 Strengthen your self-esteem. Low self-esteem is at the root of many abusive relationships. Increasing your confidence and self-esteem will help you gain the courage to leave the abuser. You can start by acknowledging that your self-esteem needs work.

  • Look for causes for your low self-esteem. Were your parents perfectionists who expected too much from you? Did you feel inadequate growing up or at work? Once you have the answers, you can work to resolve your feelings about your past. You can put the past in the past and ensure that these negative feelings don’t affect who you are today.
  •  To raise your self-esteem, do a nice thing for yourself each day. Pay attention to what others say about you that is positive. Journal about it or take notes, so you always have a reminder of your positive aspects.

Set up a proper support system.

Get outside help. It may benefit you to get help from friends, family, or others. You may need to turn to therapy or a doctor. In some cases, outside help is needed to leave an abusive relationship.

  • Your friends, family, coworkers, or others may be able to assist you so you won’t be alone and can develop the courage to leave. There may also be community resources, nonprofits, and organizations that can help.
  • You might want to work with a therapist or a coach.

Consider the costs.

Figure out your finances. Are you scared to leave your partner because you depend on them financially? Maybe you’re dealing with financial abuse, too? If you know that you’re financially secure, then it’s easier to leave.

  •  When you have a job, set money aside that your abuser can’t access. You can also ask friends or family to contribute to your savings.
  • When you don’t have a job, you have to be more creative. You may be able to save money from the stipends you receive. You may be able to sell some items.
  • Even if you’re not certain about your finances, you can make plans for the future. Prepare for a job that can support you after this relationship ends.

You don’t have to stay with an abusive partner out of fear. Relationships can be difficult to end, but it’s not impossible. Figure out a way to escape and leave them, even if you need someone to help you do it. There are resources and people who can help you get out of your abusive situation and get started in a healthier life.

Start Getting Help with Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Today

Online help is readily available for survivors of narcissistic abuse. Here are some options to begin healing from narcissistic abuse right away.

 

 

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How Has Narcissistic Abuse Affected Your Self-Awareness?

How Has Narcissistic Abuse Affected Your Self-Awareness?

Are you self-aware? After you’ve been through narcissistic abuse, you might not be as self-aware as you think.

The definition of self-awareness is having a high degree of knowledge about yourself. It’s awareness of your habits, emotional tendencies, needs, desires, strengths, and weaknesses.

Having a high level of self-awareness is a powerful tool. It allows you to change your life more effectively, since you know how you tick.

People who lack self-awareness find life to be frustrating, quite often – so right now, that might include you – and it most definitely includes a lot of narcissists, believe it or not. I know that sounds confusing, but stick with me.

In today’s video, I’ll offer tips and life hacks to help you to develop your self-awareness, even after narcissistic abuse.

How to Be More Self Aware After Narcissistic Abuse: 6 Ways to Change Your Life for GOOD

If you enjoyed this video, please subscribe to my YouTube channel! http://youtube.com/angieatkinson

1. Notice your thoughts. Unless you’ve been meditating for years, your mind is constantly churning through ideas and endlessly providing commentary. You can’t just look at a tree and admire it, your mind has to comment, “That’s a beautiful tree.”

Notice your thinking patterns.

  • What are you thinking when you’re feeling nervous?
  • Bored? Interested?
  • Walking down the street?

Notice that similar situations result in similar thought patterns.

  • Do you judge people and situations?
  • Do you spend a lot of time thinking about the past or the future?
  • Do you expect the worst to happen or the best? Or do you adopt an attitude of, “Let’s just see what happens” instead?

2. Notice your feelings.

  • What are you feeling throughout the day?
  • What do you feel while you’re eating?
  • Driving to work?
  • Lying in bed?
  • Waiting in line?

Once you’ve notice your emotion, question it.

  • What am I feeling? Why?
  • What do I need right now?
  • How do I normally react in this situation?
  • Is that smart?

3. Understand how you deal with frustration or emotional discomfort. A huge chunk of your time is spent trying to make yourself feel better. If you feel slightly frustrated or uncomfortable, then you may spend a tremendous amount of time and energy trying to change the situation or the others around you to resolve those negative feelings.

  • Do you try to control others?
  • Do you attempt to distract yourself?
  • Is your first instinct to leave the situation?
  • Do you surf the internet or eat a big bowl of ice cream?

4. Examine your friendships.

  • Where do you find your friends?
  • Are most of your friendships long-term or short?
  • When your friendships end, what is the common cause?
  • What types of people do you prefer to be friends with?
  • What types of people do you avoid?

5. Examine your intimate relationships.

  • Do you see a pattern in the type of people that you’ve been involved with?
  • What are the negative characteristics they all share?
  • Why do you think those people appealed to you?
  • What were your shortcomings in your relationships?
  • Are you clingy? Jealous? Too focused on work?
  • Failed to communicate your needs?

Think about how you contributed to the failure of your relationships. Have you changed your approach from relationship to relationship, or do you continue to repeat your mistakes?

6. Keep a journal. There’s no better way to learn about yourself than to record your thoughts, feelings, and experiences each day. Studies have shown that we don’t remember our past very accurately, so record it while it’s still fresh in your mind. Be sure to include your high and low points for the day. Note how well you ate and slept, too. You might find some useful information. * Create a habit of writing in your journal for at least 15 minutes each day. You’ll start to notice patterns and learn a lot about yourself. Understanding yourself might be the most important piece of your self-development puzzle. If you don’t understand yourself, it’s difficult to apply all the great information available today. Maintain an awareness of your thoughts, feelings, and actions. Examine and question them. You’ll be surprised by what you find.

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