My purpose: This is why I keep writing about narcissism

My purpose: This is why I keep writing about narcissism

“I truly believe that everything that we do and everyone that we meet is put in our path for a purpose. There are no accidents; we’re all teachers – if we’re willing to pay attention to the lessons we learn, trust our positive instincts and not be afraid to take risks or wait for some miracle to come knocking at our door.” ~Marla Gibbs

Take Back Your Life cover

It’s because of you. YOU, my reader, are the reason I do what I do. And today, I learned I’m on the right track – so today, I want to say thank you, honestly. 

A new reader reached out to me personally today to tell me how she felt about reading one of my books on narcissism, and all I can be is grateful. It seems that I have done what I set out to do.

I am humbled and honored. Thanks to this wonderful and thoughtful reader, I’ve learned that my books are making a difference. My heart is full, and I am inspired to continue my work. 

Here’s what happened. 

So, if you’ve been reading my work long, you know that I write about narcissism in relationships pretty often, including three books on the subject (and a new one, coming soonish). 

(See all my books at

People often wonder why I write about this particular topic, and I’ve explained my initial reasons for studying narcissism and writing about it once before. 

But there’s another reason, a much bigger one. I write about narcissism because it is my intention to help other people go from being victims of narcissists to being survivors. 

Today, I am humbled. Because this is exactly what some readers are saying they’re getting out of my books. 

I have been blessed to have many readers reach out to me personally, whether through my blog comments section, through email or through various social media channels, they are telling me that they found something in my books, something that helped them or gave them some insight. 

While I can’t always publish the comments that are made during these private conversations, due to their personal nature, every now and again, I ask permission to publish a reader’s thoughts. 

I received a message on Facebook today that completely warmed my heart and made me feel like I was doing something right. She had just purchased my book and wanted to let me know what she thought personally.

I was so honored by her insightful and genuine thoughts that I asked for permission to remove any personal information and publish it for you to read, in the hope that if you need the kind of help I have to offer, this will inspire you to get it. 

She had just finished reading my best-seller, entitled Take Back Your Life: 103 Highly-Effective Strategies to Snuff Out a Narcissist’s Gaslighting and Enjoy the Happy Life You Really Deserve. 

In part, here’s what she told me. 

“As someone who is learning about NPD, narcissist abuse, codependent relationships, and developing stronger personal boundaries, your book is the most comprehensive source I have found.

As I was reading it, it was like I could feel my mind ‘clicking’ as things resonated with me. I began journaling a couple of years ago, and I am also aware of some of your other tips, but it was a good reminder to read them again.

There were also some new (to me) ideas that I haven’t seen or tried before. It’s a terrific resource for me in this journey of healing that I’m on, and I’m keeping it close to re-read it as needed.

Honestly, I wish they educated kids about these things when they are still in school. They should have a required class on this stuff, and they should use your book to do it! I can’t thank you enough for writing it. Thank you so, so much!”

All I can feel is grateful, and all I can say is WOW! To my reader, thank you, thank you, thank you! 

What This Reader Taught Me Today

If you can learn from your struggles and use this information to teach others how to identify and successfully navigate their own, then your struggles turn out to be blessings in disguise.

This is me, signing off for today in gratitude and love. 

Have you read Take Back Your Life yet? What did you think? Share your thoughts!


Lose the flab, keep the self-worth: Required tweaks for the ‘dream dress’ method

Lose the flab, keep the self-worth: Required tweaks for the ‘dream dress’ method

As 2014 comes crashing to a close, a lot of us are googling our asses off, hoping for some new breakthrough in the weight loss world,but every year, we pretty much discover the same thing: if we want to drop the pounds, we’ve got to move more and eat less.

Enter the “dream dress” method of weight loss, in which you purchase a beautiful dress or other outfit that you just LOVE and cannot wait to wear. The catch? You buy it in the size you WANT to be, not the size you are now.

No matter if you’re currently sporting a 22 and looking to squeeze into a 2. 

I’m sure you’re not surprised that I have a small problem with this one, because I think that if you can’t really love yourself as you are, right now, you’ll never find real happiness anyway.

But inspration can be good for weight loss. It can literally mean the difference between success and failure.

And there’s nothing wrong with a little inspiration, obviously which is likely why so many fit pros are suggesting that we buy a “dream dress” or an outfit that is the ideal size for us.

The Dream Dress Method: How it can work in the real world for real women

Now, I can see how this could work. It HAS worked for me personally in the form of “dream jeans,” actually.

But when it did work, it was literally when. I bought a pair of jeans that was only one or two (when I was sort of “between” sizes). That’s because:

A. If you can’t even get it over your big toe, it’s going to feel like a goal you can’t meet.

B. Fashion changes so quickly. If you’re serious about wearing it this season, best to choose something that’ll only take a few pounds to fit.

C. This allows you to go out an get another little bit of inspiration when you fit into the current one. It offers an instant reward that becomes motivation for the next weight loss goal.

So, how about you? Have you ever bought a “dream dress” and if so, did you ever manage to fit into it? Share your thoughts in the comments below or join in the discussion on our Facebook page.

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