A viewer asks: “I am pretty sure my ex is a Narc. The biggest problem I have is I feel I caused it. I always described our relationship as a push/pull in the beginning. He would be good for a little bit and then go to his shitty self-centered ways. But when he loved you, it was like being engulfed in the sun. I met a man and we started talking. I was feeling like I needed to leave my marriage and yes, one thing lead to another and I ended up having an affair. I tried to divorce him. He was so devasted he couldn’t go to work, said he’d get on medication… which I knew he needed for his depression. I felt horrible and I stayed. Fast forward 13 years later, we’re divorced. He had many affairs… 9 that I know of to date. I lived like we were walking on eggshells. I kept putting up with everything because I felt I did this to him… my behavior turned him into this monster. Can that happen? Can someone turn into this from being hurt like that?”
I’ll answer this question and fully explain my answer in this video.
Do you think that your spouse is having an affair? Unfortunately, many times, it can be tough to tell if your spouse is cheating on you. Fortunately, many cheating spouses eventually show signs of being unfaithful, most of which are associated with their behavior. Outlined below are some signs that your spouse might be cheating on you.
What Behavior Changes Signal a Cheating Spouse?
They join a gym.
This is a major sign when it is something that they never had any interest in doing so before. If you never had a problem with your spouse’s weight before, why would you now? This could be a sign that they are trying to impress someone besides you.
You never sit down and talk anymore.
Did your spouse and talk about their day? If you never seem to have the intense conversations you once had, there may be a major problem. Cheating spouses often try to distance themselves from their relationships at home. This is a sign that your spouse may be cheating on you.
Sex is different.
Your spouse may act differently during sex and want to try new things out in the bedroom. If your spouse suddenly wants to try new things in the bedroom or if you notice that the sex is different, they may be cheating. In fact, you may be left wondering where they learned that from.
You have less sex.
In keeping with sex, your spouse may want to have it less. A decrease in sex frequency is a sign that your spouse may be cheating on you. As for why sex occurs less when cheating is involved, they feel guilty about what they are doing, or they may be getting enough sex already.
They get angry more often.
They may also get angry easier and more often. Your spouse may also be touchy around you. This may lead to more arguments and disagreements in your relationship. Things you do may annoy your husband or wife. They may actually go as far as to leave the room. Be sure to observe the changes in behavior that your spouse has towards other members of your family as well.
They start dressing differently.
They want to buy a whole new wardrobe, in a way, reinventing themselves. This works in conjunction with joining a gym to lose weight. A huge sign of cheating is when a new wardrobe is purchased, and more skin is shown.
They act weird about their phone.
Unusual behavior on the phone is another sign of cheating. When they talk on the phone near you, do they try to lower their voice or even leave the room? Hanging up a phone quickly is another signal to watch for. Be cautious of increased cell phone use, as many cheaters prefer to use their own personal phones instead of family phones.
Your friends start acting weird.
In addition to examining the behavior of your husband or wife, you should also examine the behavior of your friends. The friends you share may start acting differently towards you. This is often because your shared friends might know more than you do. Even if a friend does not outright tell you that your husband or wife is cheating, they may intentionally or unintentionally show you the signs.
Are you worried your spouse is cheating on you?
While these signs may indicate that your spouse is cheating on you, there may also be reasonable causes for these behavior changes. For example, your spouse might want to look great for you and you alone, or they also may want to improve their health.
Even with the above-mentioned signs present, you should take additional steps. These steps can and should include monitoring cell phone calls, viewing the cell phone bill, or hiring a private investigator. Never confront your husband or wife without the proper proof. Be sure to get solid evidence of cheating. Otherwise, you could be creating a whole new problem in your relationship.