You might already be aware of everything you need to know about identifying toxic relationships and how to spot a narcissist – or someone who suffers from narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). Today, we’re going to discuss WHY people become narcissists.
What are the symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder?
According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), published by the American Psychiatric Association, the official list of symptoms is as follows.
- Having an exaggerated sense of self-importance
- Expecting to be recognized as superior even without achievements that warrant it
- Exaggerating your achievements and talents
- Being preoccupied with fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty or the perfect mate
- Believing that you are superior and can only be understood by or associate with equally special people
- Requiring constant admiration
- Having a sense of entitlement
- Expecting special favors and unquestioning compliance with your expectations
- Taking advantage of others to get what you want
- Having an inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others
- Being envious of others and believing others envy you
- Behaving in an arrogant or haughty manner
Today, let’s dive a little deeper and discuss symptoms and risk factors of NPD.
Identifying Narcissistic Personality Disorder
How do you know it’s NPD?
As you can guess from the official list of symptoms above, a diagnosis of NPD would typically be made when five or more of the characteristics are identified – but generally, the condition goes undiagnosed because narcissists see nothing wrong with their behavior.
What are the traits of narcissistic personality disorder?
People who are involved with narcissists and those who have NPD typically report the following kinds of behaviors and characteristics – do we see a pattern?
- The belief that he or she is “special” and the desire to only associate with people he or she perceives are on their wavelength or who will “appreciate” them.
- The need for excessive admiration from those around him or her.
- The expectation of especially favorable treatment and automatic agreement by people around him or her.
- The exploitation of others around them for their own benefit or advancement.
- Inability to empathize with others.
- Feels envious of others, but also feels that others are envious of him or her.
- Acts arrogant, and may try to disguise arrogance with ethics.
- Displays an exaggerated sense of self-importance and is typically extremely judgmental.
People with NPD are good at making those around them, especially people who don’t know them intimately, believe that they are something special. Family members of people dealing with NPD will typically find themselves trying to please him or her, and feeling guilty if they fail. They may even be afraid of how the person with NPD will react if their desires can’t be met or if they are defied in some way.
Risk Factors for NPD: Why Do People Become Narcissists?
People always ask how narcissistic personality disorder develops in a person. They want to know: how are narcissists created? How do narcissists become narcissists? Does narcissism develop as a result of nurture or nature?
According to some researchers, NPD may be developed when a parent fails to act empathetically toward the sufferer during his or her infancy. This is common among those born to very young parents or those born to mothers who suffer from postpartum depression or psychosis.
Kids who don’t feel safe during childhood or who suffered from a lack of affection and parental praise may also develop NPD, as can those who were neglected and emotionally abused.
Those who live in unpredictable situations and who feel they cannot rely on their parents are also at risk, as are those who are learning manipulative behavior from their parents.
When this happens, the child gets sort of emotionally “stuck” at an early stage of development and while they may later understand logically that others exist and have real feelings and needs, they may not ever fully embrace it emotionally. While a “normal” child will usually develop feelings of empathy for others around them by the time they hit kindergarten, those suffering from NPD never do–leaving them to become adults with the empathic capacity of an infant.
Here are some other videos you might like to watch to better understand narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder:
- What is Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)? Signs of Narcissism
- Why Narcissists Are Cruel to You (But Kind to Others)
- How Narcissists Think and Act, Decoded
- Identifying a Narcissist vs a Traumatized Person Who Can Still Heal
- What Types Of People Attract Narcissists?
- 158 Signs You Are a Dealing with a Narcissist
Are you dealing with narcissistic abuse in a toxic relationship?
Need support in your recovery from narcissistic abuse? If you’re dealing with a malignant narcissist or someone with narcissistic personality disorder, you’ll definitely heal faster with the right kind of support. Which one is right for you? Here are a few options.
- Free: Join one of our online support groups!
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Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support & Resources
If you feel you need additional help and support in your narcissistic abuse recovery, look for a trauma-informed professional trained in helping people who are dealing with overcoming narcissistic abuse in toxic relationships. Depending on your particular situation, you might benefit from Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coaching, or you might do better with a therapist.
You have to decide what to do from here – if you’re not sure, start with my free Narcissistic Abuse Recovery quiz. With your results will come recommended resources for your situation. It’s free. Are you looking for more personal support? You might like to join one of our private small-group coaching sessions, or you might prefer to check out our one-on-one narcissistic abuse recovery counseling and coaching sessions.
- Narcissists and Public Humiliation: How & Why Narcs Shame You Publicly
- Take the Narcissistic Personality Inventory Test Here
- 101 Struggles Only Narcissistic Abuse Victims and Survivors Will Understand
- Why do narcissists follow identical relationship patterns?
- The Toxic Attraction Between Narcissists and Empaths
- Narcissist Manipulation Technique: The Narcissistic Whirl Response to Gray Rock – How Narcissists React When You Successfully Gray Rock The Narcissistic Whirl | QueenBeeing
- Top 25 Narcissistic Abuse Recovery FAQ | QueenBeeing
- Top 10 Videos on Narcissistic Abuse Recovery I Made in 2017 | QueenBeeing
- Are narcissists more aggressive drivers? | QueenBeeing
- Narcissists Who Have Changed (Featuring Richard Grannon) | QueenBeeing
Do you know someone with narcissistic personality disorder?
Take our self-assessment to gain insight into your situation.