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What had driven them to finally leave and go no-contact with their narcissists?
In many cases, there was a single moment that became the catalyst for change (often led up to by a series of events that caused growing concern, of course).
With the permission of the people who shared their stories with me in a private group I have on Facebook for research purposes, I’m sharing these true stories with you anonymously (to protect the people who wrote them).
The stories do come from three separate and unrelated individuals, but that’s all I can tell you about their identities.
I’m not sharing these stories for shock value – simply because oftentimes reading about the successful transitions of others from narcissistic abuse victim to survivor can inspire us to take action to make our own situations better.
(Survivor Story #1)
The Moment I Knew I Had to Leave a Narc Husband: I realized he was interested in my daughter.
He had no idea how much he was hurting me by looking at porn all day on his phone.
One day I woke up and realized I didn’t care anymore – it was like a light switch went off and I was numb to his abuse.
We went for a drive into town and there was a puppy in the road that had gotten out of their fenced yard. I said, “let’s stop and put him back;” he said, “the dog will be fine,” and kept driving.
We got to town and an old man was pulling out of the store parking lot with an old motor home and one of the side doors was open.
I said, “let’s let him know he has a problem.”
My husband screamed at me to mind my own business.
I said fine, but I knew it was time, I couldn’t keep going on.
A few months earlier he had started to show a big interest in my daughter. I noticed that lately, when she went to say goodbye, he would turn his head.
She’d end up kissing him on the lips. He would sit down so that she would have to bend over and he would get a good look at her breasts.
We lived on a lake and she was taking a shower and everyone else was at their lake, someone needed something and he “volunteered” to go up to the house.
My “mom-bell” went crazy. That’s when I said, “I will go with you.” Of course, he was furious! I don’t know what he thought he was going to do, but I couldn’t take a chance.
(Survivor Story #2)
The Moment I Knew I Had to Leave a Narc Boyfriend: When He Gaslighted Me
I knew I had to leave four months in! I’d experienced the love bombing and thought we where failing in love.
But for some reason, I always had concerns and held back. while I kept my own life going.
Over time, I learned that my concerns weren’t for naught – I found out he’d been an excessive cocaine users for years!
Although, according to him, he pretty much stopped when with me, I didn’t agree with it. And then, he credited me for making him deal with life. He drank a lot at first which I didn’t like as I’ve gone out with an alcoholic in the past, but then he seemed to cut down.
He admitted he had cheated on his ex wife several times. That knocked me sick and I pulled him on this and told him how shocked I was. He didn’t seem to have much empathy toward his ex wife at all.
He was always banging on about exes, calling them psychos and worse. Explaining domestic issues and fights they had had. I’d had enough! I was making subtle hits for him to stop.
Anyway, after four months of me playing it cool and kind of cringing a little about the love bombing, I actually started to expect a little more.
He went all distant and became very unreliable with plans he’d made with me. Of course, when I tried to bring this up he became so angry with me. Plus, he used his son as an excuse, and to guilt me.
He was totally unreasonable. I got the silent treatment.
He was telling me I was angry when I wasn’t – just upset my his uncaring behavior; I felt all off a sudden so anxious.
I was totally walking on eggshells, when I thought he was smitten with me. I googled something, and the pattern of the courtship, his chaotic past he admitted to and -SHOCKER- his personality matched the traits of a narcissist!
I knew I had to leave. I mean, unless he suddenly showed me he’d had a personality transplant. Well, he never did of course, and we both just stopped talking with each other.
The fall out for me was very upsetting, but I’ve never said a word to him. I knew I could not resolve conflict with him. And looking back, he had hinted about me seeing his bad side and how he’d be heart broken if we ever argued.
Nowadays, I can see how me pulling him up and having a opinion made me not very agreeable in his mind. He wanted me to be his girl and had warned me I couldn’t get my way all the time – this after he cancelled other arrangements. It was just really odd behavior, but looking back, I realize now that I didn’t see it at the time.
(Survivor Story #3)
The Moment I Knew I Had to Go No-Contact With My Narc Family: When my father committed suicide
I left my family for good after my father died and I saw how heartless they truly were. He barely had a funeral and they were 20 times more concerned with getting the money he left.
The only reason they gave the half-assed funeral they did was so their name can be on papers to get his stuff. They felt no remorse what so ever for the trouble they caused him (or even the fact that he was gone or killed himself).
They read his suicide letter (which they had the biggest shout out in) and nothing they spun it around to “he was just crazy.”
My sister got over $100,000 from his death and screwed over everyone else in the end -and when we found out the rest of the family didn’t bother to get him even a $200 tombstone, she said it wasn’t her problem and to let someone else pay for it.
I noticed they only pretended to care in front of me, because in the end I was closer to him. They figured he had told me stuff, I guess.
They completely disregarded my sister as a person while everything was being planned. We used it to our advantage while we were fighting them.
Of course, I got a shout out in the letter too. So at the time, I did say a million times “I didn’t want any of the money.”
In my mind, I didn’t deserve it because I felt like I could have saved him and I didn’t. I was too busy all the time dealing with all the narcissist bullshit.
If I had known … if I had seen that hotel room just a few hours before I did, I never would have left him there.
Anyway, I guess it was then I realized my whole life I’ve most likely been living with sociopaths – it was like, at that moment, I suddenly recognized that I had been at the mercy of sociopaths my whole life.
I guess I should be lucky I only came out with nerve issues and anxiety – because I know for a fact I just barely missed a lot worse. Once everything was done, I went no contact. But every now and then they find flying monkeys – last year was the last time I saw one, I think. I want to get my niece and my brother out now, but it’s hard.
Okay, let’s discuss it. Do you recognize yourself or someone you know in one of these stories?
Tell Us Your Story
One of the biggest things I hear from narcissistic abuse survivors who find this site or my narcissistic abuse recovery videos is that they are so relieved to learn that not only are they not crazy, but that they aren’t alone in the painful and shocking realization that they are being (or have been) abused by a toxic person.
It’s a HUGE part of recovery. And it matters. It’s so important for people who are going through and recovering from narcissistic abuse to truly understand that they are not alone.
When you share your story and your personal experiences with narcissistic abuse recovery, not only can it help you grow and evolve in your own recovery, but it offers you a unique chance to pay it forward and help to encourage and support other survivors who are having or have had similar experiences.
Doctors Of Varied Sorts And The New Online Doctor Trend
The word “doctor” onjures up tall scary men in white suits but as we’ll soon see the word doctor is being used quite interchangeably and the internet has added a whole new element.
Historically known as a person licensed to give out medicine and various treatments the word doctor is beginning to be used interchangeably in many other fields as well.
For example, with some quick online searching you can find all sorts of online doctors; everything from your traditional arthritis doctor and pc spyware doctors too. It seems you can almost find a doctor who has specialized into nearly every field imaginable.
Let’s look a bit further into doctors online. Without too much trouble you’ll find doctors and health professionals on the internet that you can ask health and medical questions.
Their replies are meant to be educational in purpose and shouldn’t be considered personal medical care. Sometimes responses are answered via email, but most often answers are posted on a FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions) page or a bulletin board type forum. This gives everyone the ability to search, view, and therefore, benefit from the information.
You’ll also find a few live question and answer chat sessions. If you can’t make the scheduled chat time, many of the sites will allow you to post your question ahead of time and return later to view the details of the chat and see if your question had been brought up and answered.
Let’s now define the word doctor. According to dictionary.com a doctor is:
1. A person, especially a physician, dentist, or veterinarian, trained in the healing arts and licensed to practice. 2. a. A person who has earned the highest academic degree awarded by a college or university in a specified discipline. b. A person awarded an honorary degree by a college or university. 3. Abbr. Dr. Used as a title and form of address for a person holding the degree of doctor. 4. Roman Catholic Church. An eminent theologian. 5. A practitioner of folk medicine or folk magic. 6. A rig or device contrived for remedying an emergency situation or for doing a special task. 7. Any of several brightly colored artificial flies used in fly fishing.
Acquiring a traditional doctor’s degree requires many years of preparation and devotion. People usually join the medical colleges at the age of 19 and graduate at the age of 25.
Once they get through the exams the physicians ultimately start their career at age 28 or 29 years as they begin their internship of 3 years. With the internet now widely available people can now study online as well. But do extensive research and study their authenticity before admitting yourself to any online colleges.
There are different types of traditional doctors specializing in different fields. Here are just a few:
Chiropractor: One who is especially skilled in precise focus on bones, muscles and soft tissue alignment. They usually adopt the techniques of physical therapy, massage therapy to heal different skeletal injuries and muscular imbalances.
Dentist: The Dentist is well trained in diagnostic of oral cavity.
Gynecologists: A Gynecologist is a doctor who is engaged in treatments of women regarding their reproductive and hormonal problems.
Pediatricians: Pediatricians are doctors specializing to treat infants, children and teenagers.
Homeopath: These Doctors are trained in homeopathic medicine. They use the Homeopathic medicines for the remedies of different diseases. Homeopathic medicines have no side effects like the allopathic medicines.
Ophthalmologist: Experts in treating the eyes. They often work in combination with Optometrists.
Optometrist: Optometrists are skilled in testing the visual acuteness and fitting correct lenses to increase vision.
Cardiologist: Specialists who takes care of the heart and related diseases.
Psychiatrist: Psychiatrists are trained with special treatments on emotional disturbance patients.
Other types include skin specialists, orthopedics (bone), neurologist (nerve), eurologist (kidney), and the list goes on and on as
It seems definition 2. a. from above is beginning to be used more frequently to give people the impression that a certain person, product or service knows more than others about a particular topic.
The computer industry is just one example. Software called PC Doctor or spyware doctor gives the impression that these programs will help fix the problem being experienced by the patient or customer really. A bit of a play on words for sure since even the definition points to an actual person rather than a product.
We hope this article has been educational and possibly a tad enlightening regarding the various types of doctors and the online doctors trend that has taken place with the internet.
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