How to Deal When the World Disappoints You

How to Deal When the World Disappoints You

“I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.” ~Audrey Hepburn

audrey3I love that quote. I really do–it’s one of my favorites. But look, I’m going to be super honest here–and I hope you take this for what it’s worth, some days, I just don’t quite feel it.

If you’ve been reading my work long, you know I’m responsible for a variety of niche websites. As the creator of QueenBeeing and all of its current sub-sites (How to Be a Hot Wife, Project Blissful, #StyleBuzz Project Blissful Style, for example), I’m really pretty familiar with ME and how to be the best possible me I can be.

See, all of these sites have one thing in common: they’re focused on becoming BETTER—a better version of myself.

In fact, all of those sites led to this one; that’s why QueenBeeing exists—it is the whole enchilada—everything that, for me, represents being the best possible version of myself and of creating and living the life I desire, all collected in one beautiful, ever-evolving place.

Each site was representative of a certain part of myself that I was working to improve or otherwise more fully embrace in my life—my marriage, my physical and mental health, my fashion sense—just to name a few.

And as you may or may not know, I’ve had some pretty tremendous results thanks to this commitment—but it doesn’t mean I’m perfect.

I am my brand and I try to always follow my own advice.

I actively and diligently practice what I preach here, too—no joke. Everything I personally write about, unless otherwise noted and/or quoted, is something that I have personally experienced, attempted or personally discovered/realized through my studies and research of people and sociology. And, just like my readers, I’m ever-evolving, always trying to be and do better, for myself, my family and the world around me.

With all of that being said, I would love to sit here and tell you that because I am actively attempting to live my own message and to truly BE my personal brand, I have no issues and am always totally 100 percent on point with my whole inner peace/happiness/personal fulfillment deal. I really would.

But I’ve vowed to be myself, to be brutally honest with my readers, so here’s my real truth: I’m totally human. So. Not. Perfect.

And sometimes? The world pisses me off a little bit.

pantiesFor example, last week, my husband turned on some discussion on Fox News channel (which I do not normally watch).

As usual, I zoned out and attempted to focus on my own thing…until I heard some right-wing commenter talking about President Obama and how “the world seems to disappoint him.”

(I’m so not going to comment on the political crap there, because that’s not why I’m mentioning it. Please understand that the following is not in any way a political commentary, it’s just a personal one that is referencing a random comment made about a random person in the world!)

Anyway, in that moment, when I happened to be feeling a little bit surly about the world, I got it.

Sometimes, to be honest, the world disappoints me, too.

So for a minute, I let myself stew on that feeling. About two seconds later, I noticed that particular feeling sucked. I didn’t want to feel like that one second longer—it felt awful. Who wants to be disappointed by the world?

And here, my friends, is where I tell you the good news: I’m not completely full of shit, after all.

I truly do live my message.

Here’s what I did to stop feeling all that negativity and get my head back in the right place.

I just changed my mind.

Yeah, I know, that sounds WAY too simple—and it kinda is—but hear me out. What I mean by change my mind is to change the way I saw the situation–to change my perception.

The very first thing I did was to allow myself to refocus – to literally become distracted from the negative thoughts, but in a super-productive way. I use an internal distraction/redirection technique that involves a simple memorized affirmation phrase. Mine is:

“I now cancel that thought and replace it with this affirmation of my true divine desire: (insert your own better, more positive thought here).”

I do this because making myself think OR say those exact words takes exactly the amount of time that seems to be required to distract myself from the negative thoughts.

That offers me enough time to recognize what I’m doing to myself: the more negatively I allow myself to react, the more of that kind of stuff I’ll be drawing into my life. But if I can stay mostly positive, life will reflect the same kind of mostly awesome. I know this to be true, because I’ve experienced it personally, again and again. I’m constantly amazed by it and always, always grateful. <3

How do you get over it when the world disappoints you? Share your thoughts in the comments section, below.

Why You Must Follow Your Passion, Even When You Have Kids

Why You Must Follow Your Passion, Even When You Have Kids

“The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mode but the true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives the passion that she shows. The beauty of a woman grows with the passing years.” ~Audrey Hepburn

Overwhelmed, frazzled and decidedly NOT hot!Have you ever found yourself feeling “less than” or underestimated by someone you love? Maybe you were thrown under the bus or treated like you were an employee rather than a partner. Maybe this sort of thing happens a little too often, and maybe it’s beginning to take a toll on your self esteem, especially if your tormentor is your spouse—and especially if you truly love and respect him.

While no one wants to believe negative things about herself, sometimes it’s just easier to believe that you’re not worthy…but when you let go of the feeling that you deserve to have a good, healthy relationship that benefits both of you, or the idea that you’re worth loving, you let go of a huge part of yourself.

The Not-So-Hot Effect of Putting Your Personal Development on Hold for Your Kids

This happens to a lot of moms, especially those who put their entire lives on hold to raise their kids. See, while you’re busy doing the work of parenting, you’re not developing your Self.

In fact there are studies that show that teen moms are often stunted in their emotional growth to the point that some never mature emotionally beyond the age they were when they gave birth. Others manage but it takes much longer. And still some others don’t struggle at all.

The point is that awareness is crucial to creating positive change in your life. And in the case of being a hot wife, having your own interests and projects outside of your kids and hubby will make you just so much hotter!

How to Be a Hot Wife Who Also Happens to Be a Mom: Find, Nurture and Develop Your Passions

mom juggle lifeAs you already know, a hot wife always has her own interests and passions. But when hot wives become hot moms, they sometimes let their personal needs and wants sit by the wayside so long they forget what they are–and the effect isn’t pretty.

To discover your passion, if you haven’t already, you need to know your purpose.

How to Discover the Purpose of Your Life

If you’re like a lot of moms, you might not have figured out what you’re supposed to do with your life, outside of raising your kids. What is your personal  life purpose?

What is a life purpose anyway?

passionFor our uses, we’re going to define it as something that you love to do that also has a great impact on the world. It’s that sweet spot where you’re having a great time and doing something wonderful for as many people as possible.

Most of us leave our lives up to chance. We slide into a profession that we don’t hate and stay there or in a similar situation until we’re ready to retire. Living your purpose usually requires taking action with the intention of finding it.

There are several ways you can attempt to discover the purpose of your life:

  1. Describe your ideal day. Project yourself several years into the future and imagine that your life is essentially perfect. What would your life look like? Are you working? What type of work are you doing? What do you do all day? Who is in your life?
  • Now that you know what the end looks like, what can you do today to take the first step in that direction?
  1. Try austerity. Go camping in a remote place. Leave the food at home, but bring plenty of water. Limit your sleep and just sit with yourself. When you’re miserable, bored, lonely, and tired, sometimes the answers become obvious.
  2. Volunteer. Find an organization in your community that interests you. Doing something worthwhile can be a good way to discover your purpose. Even if you come up short, at least you’ll have done something important.
  3. Assume you can do the impossible. When anything is possible, what would you do? Take action to bring your dreams to life.
  4. Write. Perhaps the most effective way to discover your life’s purpose is to spend an hour writing. At the top of your paper write, “My life’s purpose.” Now spend the next 60 minutes writing whatever pops into your mind.
  • When you find something that stirs strong positive feelings within you, you’re probably on the right track.
  1. Investigate a new hobby. We all have at least one activity we’ve been putting off until a more convenient time. Doing something new exposes you to new ideas and thoughts. Now is the time to jump in and get started. You might be surprised what you discover.
  2. Do something that terrifies you. Skydiving? Public speaking? You might find your life’s purpose during the process of conquering this fear.
  • This can be challenging and it might take some time, but get started today.
  1. Spend a day being totally inspired. From the time you wake up until the time you go to bed, attempt to spend every moment inspired. The right books, music, and movies can help you maintain an inspired mental state.
  • You’ll believe you can do anything. What would you do?

Ask yourself what you would do if you had $10 million. How would you spend your time? What would your life look like? Can you figure out a way to make a living doing one of the activities you would be willing to do for free if you had the time?

Keep trying the above tips until you’ve found something that really excites you. When you find your purpose, there will be no doubt. Avoid spending all of your life thinking and planning. Get busy living.

Finding your life’s purpose will make life exciting and meaningful!

So how about you, have you discovered your passion and purpose yet? Share your thoughts, experiences and ideas in the comments section, below!

 

Blissful Style Guide: The Right LBD for Your Budget

Blissful Style Guide: The Right LBD for Your Budget

lbdfromkmart“One is never over-dressed or underdressed with a Little Black Dress.” ~Karl Lagerfeld

Listen up, ladies. You need a little black dress in your wardrobe. I don’t care if you’re a factory worker who rarely has occasion to dress up–you never know when you’ll need to attend a special event, go on a date or even just dress up for the holidays or a fancy family get-together.

Did you know?

We are actively building our Blissful Style Guides resource section, so stay tuned for updates.

Click here to view more Blissful Style Guides

Blissful Style Guide: How to Find the Perfect Little Black Dress Within Your Budget

Here are a few tips I’ve learned along the way for finding the right little black dress to fit your budget.

Shop the sales: Since a little black dress is a timeless piece that can be easily dressed up or down for nearly any occasion, there’s nothing wrong with hitting clearance sales, especially through the online venues.

For example, I purchased the dress I’m wearing in the photo to the right at KMART.com from the Sofia Vergara collection and absolutely love it!

And it was on clearance. (Worth mentioning: since I got such a deal, i also picked up the same dress in an alternate, trendier orange color.) For the record, I also love NoMoreRack.com for stuff like this.

Need labels carefully: Listen, as the proud  owner of several “real” designer handbags, most of which were second-hand (and a few hand-me-downs), I totally feel you on the need to have “real” labels.

Sometimes, you need a label–but MOST times, a label is a luxury that may not be necessary.

For example, if you wanted to dress down your look with a shawl or scarf, you could consider one of these options based on your budget.

High-End* Option: Hermes Paris Broderie Hermes Stole

Hermès

Retail Price: $1,025.00

*Awesomely luxurious, but I can’t say I’d ever spend this much on a scarf, even if I was loaded–but I include it for people who can and will choose the higher-end options when they’re available.

 

 

Upper Echelon Option: Jill SanderStole in Cobalt

 

Retail Price: $448

(Current Sale Price: $315)

 

Mid-Range* Option: Faliero Sarti Oblong Scarf

Faliero Sarti Oblong Scarf - Scarves - Barneys.com

Retail Price: $235
*Slightly lower quality but worth the price for a one-season wear.

 

Best Bang for Your Buck*: Scialle Large Unito Royal Blue Scarf

Large UNITO Royal Blue ScarfRetail Price: $185
*NOTE: I consider this one the “best bang for your buck” because the quality matches even the Hermes scarf listed above, but the fact that the company’s not well-known yet means the label can’t drive up the price.
Woman Fashion Lady Cobalt Blue Long Crinkle Soft Chiffon Wrap Scarf Stole Shawl
Retail Price: $4.99
*I found this pretty chiffon wrap on eBay for less than $5 with free shipping. Only concern: quality is lacking.

 

How do you choose the right little black dress for your budget? Share your thoughts and experiences (and your relevant links!) in the comments section, below. 

 

Related articles

Time Tested Beauty Tips

Time Tested Beauty Tips

By Angela Atkinson

Beauty isn’t just skin deep, regardless of what the entertainment industry tells you. And, there are all kinds of beauty–not just one society-determined standard.

Audrey Hepburn is famously connected to a beautiful poem called “Time Tested

Beauty Tips”, and while she’s often credited, the truth is that she was just especially fond of it.

The poem, which I will share with you below, was actually written by Sam Levenson, who wrote it for his grandchild.

Audrey Hepburn, a woman remembered for her remarkable physical beauty, reportedly read the poem to her own grandchildren on the last Christmas Eve of her life. As it turns out, Hepburn was more than just a pretty face. Besides her legendary acting career, she was a life-long humanitarian, a survivor of Nazi terrorists and more.

The poem says it all, I think. Please take a look, and share your thoughts in the comments section below.

Time Tested Beauty Tips

By Sam Levenson

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.

For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.

For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.

For beautiful hair, let a child run his or her fingers through it once a day.

For poise, walk with the knowledge you’ll never walk alone.

People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; Never throw out anybody.

Remember, If you ever need a helping hand, you’ll find one at the end of your arm.

As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides.

The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole, but true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows, and the beauty of a woman with passing years only grows!

What are your best beauty tips, inner or outer? Share your thoughts in the comments section, below.

 

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